Today

Assalamalikum,
well after such a good evening, obviously it had to come crashing down!!
Yesterday I spoke to my mum.. shes having some probs at the moment. My stepdad isnt working and shes worrying about their finances which she should have to, hes old enough!! And hes never not worked for this long, he wont even sign on. But then hes going, so you want me in a rubbish job which I will hate, and doesnt understand that its only short term.. insha'allah he will realise and sort it out. When I spoke to her yesterday she was upstairs in my bedroom and wouldnt talk to him, I just phoned her now and asked where he is, out she said.. out where? dunno she replied I just want to slap him to wake him up sometimes.
Anyways I was feeling bad after speaking to her but I managed to get to the masjid, I prayed my 2 rakahs and sat aound waiting for the prayer... It was only 2 rakahs into that I realised I had missed isha, so after the 8th rakah (when theres a gap) I prayed isha.. but then there wasnt as big a gap as usual So I ended up missing 2 rakahs (which I made up on my own later alhamdulillah) After we prayed witr, and they do it different saying the duaa before ruku and I totally lost myself there and couldnt remember the duaa. We all sat around after, I was really surprised at the small number of people praying last night, almost hurt me but I started to read my quran... then a girl came to me and asked when the masjid was closing.. I had assumed it stayed open all night, but then i realised that not all of the masjids did the sleeping during the last 10days.. alhamdulilah she found out it was open all night and said she wanted to stay later. So we chatted for a bit, she took my number and email.. she has started coming to friday prayer so insha'allah we will get together when im back from UK She left earlier than I had expected her to, but it was all good... in the end I finished reading the quran and learnt 3 lines of surah al-kafiroun alhamdulillah.. so just 3 more to do alhamdulilah, then I drove home.. got home around 115am then chatted with a work friend online for a little bit.. but the more I sat the more tired I became so I went to bed.
This morning: totally missed suhur and fajr woke up around 845am and prayed fajr then.. insha'allah I will be forgiven. I started to get ready for my day, had a hospital appointment for my hand at 11am and wanted to go to the bank to draw out some money to transfer over to my bank in UK. By the time I got of the motorway I thought I would be late... but when I was at the traffic lights at the bank, I realised I could have made it but decided to do it after the appointment. So I had my appointment (i was really early ) Dr says hes pleased with my hand and that I will wear my glove for another 2 months, then thats it... no more appointments and no more glove, he said if im still unsure about not wearing it then he can put me in touch with someone who does scar covering makeup... he must think Im soo vain But alhamdulillah.
Then I was driving back got about 5 mins down the road and a copper stopped all the traffic to pull me over... said i was doing 86 in a 50 zone Im sure it isnt 50... Im going to try and check that out today. He was such a nasty copper.. whacked me with a $271 fine There goes my savings for the month I was so annoyed, Im sure it isnt a 50 zone and he hid his car in the trees and had the camera facing up a hill so he caught me going down the hill basically. I dunno what to do, anyone in Canada got any suggestions? Anyone know about how speeding fines and points work?? This is my 2nd this year.. got done coming back from Anisahs too.. although not for this amount. Insha'allah I can sort something out, such a waste of time, money and effort. Allahu alim
Anyways... thats the down fall of my day... Whens Eid? Looks like its going to be another lonely day in my life.. I cant believe how depressed Ive been through this month this year, Allahu alim.. Eid Mubarak to you all if I miss you. Fi amenallah

Wednesday night/ Thursday morning

Salam girls... so Im on days this week apart from thursday Im on afternoons because I have a trip to the hospital for my appointment at 11am. I went for taraweeh tonight... it was weird, so many more women there masha'allah and i felt like a fraud leaving after the normal 8 rakahs. So I started thinking about wednesday night, insha'allah im going to go for taraweeh all this week and even try some 20 rakah night. However on wednesday, I finish work at 3pm and im not in until 3pm the next day, well apart from the travelling.. so I was thinking maybe I should stay a little longer. Stay for the 20 rakahs and also stay till maybe early morning.. well very early morning :P definately leave well before fajr to get a few hours kip. I was thinking leave around 1ish... so what dya think girls?? Should I?? JazakAllah khair

Frustration

Assalamalikum girls,

ok so I just need to vent and get out my frustration after just speaking with my mother.. it isnt any backbiting just annoyance at how she is acting. Its been 5 weeks since my grandmother died, and just over 4 weeks since she was buried.. so that means just under 4 weeks since I have been back in Canada. The day I arrived back my mum had organised to go to a neighbours bbq and dragged me along.. well basically she was there when I arrived back at her house. She left early on the sunday for a christening that I had been invited to (alhamdulillah, I didnt want to go) and I left to go back to my place before she got back that day.

I have seen her once since then, partly due to my own issues of not really wanting to be there while Im fasting. But I went up last weekend, she was at her 'friends' (yeh I dont really like this friend of hers, she takes advantage) She didnt intend on coming back to hers, even though she had known for nearly a week that I was coming up, I stayed under 2hrs! This weekend is the long weekend for thanksgiving and Im also not praying so I thought I would spend the whole weekend there. We intended on going to a big market town called St Jacobs and I phoned her this morning to tell her i didnt want to go on the saturday as Im working till 11 on the friday and it opens just too early. So then she tells me she cant go on sunday because we have all been invited to her 'friends' for thanksgiving dinner (her friend is english just like us!) I dont understand why she keeps breaking things with me and its hurting me because all I want to do is curl up with her and for her to tell me everything will be ok :( oh look.. Im crying now, such a baby...

I understand shes having issues at the moment with her up and coming operation but why does she have to spend all this time with her?? shes babysitting during the day for her and wont take money because they looked after the dog while she was last in hospital, for 6days they looked after the dog.. the woman has 4 kids!! and my mum has been lookin after at least 2 everytime shes been there.. subhanallah.. shes not well..

Am I being over reactive??Am I being selfish? Or am I being stupid?