Starvation amongst salafis

So Im sure many of you have already heard the news about the 7 year old child who was starved to death by her parents. I just came across another blog through a link that stated in its post 'This is a tragic story, but sadly part of the madness of the salafi cult that nutures naive new muslims and newly practising muslims to hate their muslim brothers, to treat sins lightly and IGNORE responsibility' I dont really partake to any particular madhab (im still researching into that) but I know a little about each of them and I never came across the idea that in salafism you starve your children, astagfrillah... Does anyone have any more recent news about this event? here is another link and I would just like to point out a few comments in the article
'The father said: 'The children didn't seem to like wearing the Muslim head wear. I think that's why the children started having problems at the school - they weren't happy being forced into the Muslim religion' Why were they being forced to do this?? and whats muslim head gear? :) at aged 7?? surely not!! (just to point out.. the father isnt her partner)
''I think the family converted to Islam about two years ago but the children should not have been forced to wear religious clothing at school. It is a multicultural school but has a high Muslim contingent.' ' hmm.. makes you wonder doesnt it?? Sometimes I worry about being a muslim in UK.. things seem so much more open and unafraid over here, I also wonder if Canada will go the same way as the UK years down the line. Allahu alim

A look back

so its May 31st already.. May is practically over, where did that go then? I have no idea, seems like only yesterday I was saying wow April is finished.. but then I say that after every month lol :) yeh sorry, you do get used to me, so Ive been told. So I think im going to start doing a look back tag and look back at the previous month and what I have achieved / been through in that month, this will obviously be the first one so here goes:

• I started these 12 hour shifts May 5th, which so far hasnt been too bad alhamdulillah.
• One of my bestest friends moved to UK :(
• I was tested and passed my restricted firearms exam alhamdulillah, now Im just waiting for the pieces of paper. Can you imagine? a firearms license with a hijabi on :) heehee, it will also be my first official document in hijab which Im nervous about seeing (my uk driving license expires in dec, so that will prob be my second piece)
• We had a long long weekend, which meant 4 days off for me. I havent had one of those in a long time without having to take holidays.
• I had a dentist appointment, which also reminds me I have to made an appointment for my physical at the doctors soon.
• i turned 27, which sounds so old to me and I worry because I totally feel like Im still 22.. I still rush around like Im 22 and act like Im 22, do I really need to grow up? Answers on a postcard to: PO box 25843 heehee. THERE!!! see what I mean, and Im sure the ppl who know me closer can vouch for that also.. have I changed in the years we have known each other??
• my uncle died :( and my friends dad died :( Inna Lillah wa inna ilaihi raaji'oon. Indeed we belong to Allah and indeed to Him is ultimate return I decided not to go home for the funeral
• I finished 3 pieces of stitching alhamdulilah.. so far 1 has been given to its new owner and Im currently in the process of 2 more.

On an islamic note (the template of this will probably be the same each time)
no Quran learnt :(
no duaas learnt :( insha'allah soon once I get my computer back
did update my islamic blog alhamdulillah
Peace and salams,
Ammena

swimsuit update :)

So I mentioned it to h2b, his reply...
"Salam Walikum, My dear i dont think you need any swimsuit, as i am not intrested to take you to the sea to swim but maybe for a walk by the offshore only:)"
Men!!! Thats all I can say.. I wish I had had the life growing up that made me think you could only swim in the sea ;) Allahu alim. Still in 2 minds about it, although not because of what he said Ill have you know!!

Da list

In relation to a post on Mollys blog so long ago I decided at the time that I would like to do a similar post.. and here it is, I will probably write this over the course of a few days maybe so forgive the haphazardness :D
In honor of moving back to UK by the end of the year insha'allah I would like to make a list for me to look back on and remember the good times I had here in Canada and to remind myself what I was looking forward to when Im in England. So here it is, a list of things I will miss about Canada, and things I'm looking forward to not having to put up with anymore; then a list of things I'm looking forward to back home, and things I am not looking forward to when I get back to UK. The things I will miss are in blue, things I will not miss are in green
Oh Canada!
1. I will miss my mum and my stepdad
I wont miss being expected to visit them everyother weekend (90mins drive away) and to spend all my time with them while they critise my clothes, and people who arent like them
2. I will miss certain foods, like jello cups and iced tea (we dont have iced tea in UK, can you believe!?)
I wont miss having all my vegetables wasted because they go off so quickly
3. I will miss the good friends that I have made over here even if they dont live around the corner, I will miss being on the same time zone (as I know how horrible it is with my friends in UK)
I will not miss the people who I have been forced to hang around with and those who are FWIS (friends when it suits) clean slate :D
4. I will miss the countryside over here.. the point that you have to drive far to get away from it all, and the hundreds of cities that I am yet to visit
I will not miss having to drive a long time to just see a friend, although I prob wont have a car in London, so I will also not miss the price of petrol at the moment
5. I will miss being the english person who sounds so different to most people around me
I will not miss being the english person who has to repeat everything just to fun
6. I will miss it being just me in my flat.. not having to worry about anyone else
But then I will not miss being on my own (confused?)
7. I will miss the yearly conferences I have the opportunity to go to (even if I dont go to them all)
I will not miss the sneaking around that usually accompanies these conferences
8. Im looking forward to getting back into my yoga insha'allah
Im not looking forward to the propsect of missing a winter of snowboarding here.

The thing that is weird for me after just reading through Mollys list is that I dont class Canada as my home, yes Ive lived here for 4 years now, I have lived on my own for more than half of that time, I have worked in 2 jobs (the only 2 since finishing uni) and I have built somewhat of a life here. It still isnt my home!

The United Kingdom!
1. Im looking forward to being with the rest of my family, my mums & dads, all of them.. down to the 2nd cousins I now have, some I havent met and my friends too.. and their little ones who I have been away from for so long.
Im not looking forward to tiptoeing around them, but at least I know they will expect less of me. Im also not looking forward to having to explain my whereabouts to them for my mums knowledge, but again.. anything is better than it being from my mum
2. Im looking forward to getting married insha'allah and starting a new life in London (if hes still there, remember us in your duaa)
Im not looking forward to having to deal with 'someone else' but all the positives highly outweigh the negatives, espcially after around 5 years apart
3. Im looking forward to getting into the muslim community in London, whether it be lunch with my girls (yes I have many people to meet face to face down there) / parties at Ines' heehee or becoming involved with helping the younger kids (there is some organisations I would like to help) or just simply visiting the masjids and lectures (i have a feed for a yahoo group on my page that links you to all the activities in England.. there are so many things going in on London alhamdulillah)
Im not looking forward to trying to break into this community, but its the means to an end
4. Im looking forward to travelling more around the world (money wise it will be easier)
Im not looking forward to the travelling that will need to be done to visit friends and family (Dee & jules, you will have to come down to London)
5. Im looking forward to learning about my new husband and his family, and insha'allah learning arabic
Im not looking forward (much) to being a wife, but Im sure I will get over it.
6. Im looking forward to fresh food that doesnt go off at the drop of a hat from local markets, proper vegetarian meals, good restaurants, and actually cooking decent stuff (i see to have stopped cooking here and started removing things from packages)
Im not looking forward to what he expects of me in terms of cooking (Im sure he will realise soon enough)
I think thats my list :D feel free to remind me of anythings :) just to let you all know.. Im

Away

Yes, my computer is still not fixed so I had to wait from sunday morning until wednesday evening to be able to get onto the internet. Hoho what a surprise, I had 9 comments on my blog and tons of emails to sift through... so you guys do love me?! sniff sniff alhamdulillah.
So you are probably asking what I have been doing with my time, well I havent ordered the swimsuit just yet.. need a few more pennies first insha'allah. But I have been decluttering my flat here in Canada and getting rid of rubbish I just dont need, and sorting my books.. insha'allah Im going to be posting a list of the books Im trying to get rid of, so you girls have have a look at what I have and you are welcome to buy from me :) I lost out of $10 last time I sold through amazon.. so not going there again! What else have I been doing? erm.. sleeping.. oh I took a course for a restricted firearms license (ie handguns) and I passed that today alhamdulillah, so just need to wait for my paper work then I can work on the range in the company Im employed by. Ive been having many late nights with h2b, a few weeks ago he received a letter asking for more proof of his time in UK. After a few visits to some different lawyers he was told that his case worker seems to be giving him a second chance Allahu alim, and he decided to go without a lawyer and just send the papers in on his own. So he phoned me up and told me what he needed.. and with me not having a computer its been a tough and time consuming slog to write out a few letters for him to send with his documents. He sent the papers next day delivery today, so insha'allah by tomorrow afternoon they should have them in sunny Liverpool. Please remember us in your duaa girls that this thing is over with sooner or later.. I just feel that once I know where he is I can get stuck into organising the next few months.. its funny, when you want time to slow down it just speeds past.. it seems just yesterday that I told my mum I was leaving, going soo slow. I think its also this shift too, time seems to go slower because I work usually 2 days at a time.
So any more news?? erm.... I think thats it really.. Ill fill you in on anything else if I remember insha'allah
Peace and salams, Ammena

Swimsuit

So what dya think?? Im looking into picking up the blue suit on the left consisting of 3 separate items or maybe in a different colour (check out https://splas004.secure.omnis.com/store/index.php) Pretty decent prices too masha'allah :) just have to check out my sizes :) and im wondering if some of the items are already sold out :( insha'allah not. Ill let you know how it goes.

Life update

so Ive been away for awhile, my computer is still getting fixed so the only time I can come online is when Im at work.. and play, while I should be working :D always fun heehee. Whats new with me, I hear you say... well to be honest, not much. I havent been able to learn my surah like planned because I have, again, NO COMPUTER!! Ive been randomly buying things on ebay, last week I bought a long wedding skirt which still hasnt arrived at my friends but I pray gets there ok. Ive decided on the top half of the outfit which I need to get in touch with an old friend for to help me insha'allah, so Ill let you all know when its better. Ive also been looking at a few other things, my reasoning? if I buy a few things in UK then I dont have to trundle as much stuff over there when I move :D heehee, good reasoning? I think so!
I just found out on Monday that one of my bestest friends over here has been given a job in London and she is leaving Toronto on june 30th insha'allah. im so excited for her, her mum is british so shes had numerous holidays over there and shes been saying she wanted to do this for so long. So at least I will have a dear friend over there to confide in insha'allah, Im lookin forward to us 'doing London' together. Here people question my accent, now in London people can question both our accents :P yes I still get questioned there cause Im not a southerner. go figure!
On sunday I am taking the final part of my gun license (restricted part) so I can fire a handgun - which was recently pointed out to me as being illegal in UK. But im looking forward to having the ability to say I can heehee, although I freaked out h2b the other day by telling him all about it 'so you can fire guns? hmm... maybe Ill find myself an algerian wife' heehee.. he wouldnt dare! he knows I would kill him teehee.. joking. Its sunday day then mon & tues night, with the exam either wed to thurs, so Ill let you know how it goes.
Ive spent this last week talking to h2b quite often, which is a nice difference.. people ask me how I cope with the long distance, I tell them.. you get used to it! Although Ive been told it would be harder if we were married.. who knows! We have been talking alot about his case, hes been to a few different lawyers alhamdulillah, and they have given him different prices for taking his case and other bits of advice. He also recently received a letter asking for proof that he was resident in UK in 2003, of course.. he wasnt working, and he was living in a rented flat, rented = no utilities = no proof that he lived there :( so we are stuck in a little dilemma at the moment.. I think he has decided what lawyer to go with and I pray that this is a good thing. I asked him why they tell him to get out the country, and then ask to prove this.. the lawyer told him that the person working on his case seems to be giving him a second chance.. insha'allah it is and that this can all be fixed. Its funny, since all this happened I have found myself more willing to give up what little control I thought I had over my life.. I even started to think how things would be like if he moved back to Algeria, its nice to not worry about things cause you know you cant do anything about them. I just ask for you all to remember us in your duaa insha'allah, its all that we can do for now, I will keep you in the loop of what is happening, but Im definately reading this as a good sign insha'allah. Allahu alim.
Anyways, I should probably get some work done
Peace and salams, Ammena

Officially...

... feeling old. I just found a skirt on ebay entitled vintage 80s pencil skirt... the 80s is now vintage?? hmm... *off to count my wrinkles*

Frustration

So Im at my mums for a little while, hence why Im posting :) Im just getting a little peeved with her little comments at the moment, it seems that her every waking moment is dedicated to putting me off going back to UK. As you know, she just came back and Ive heard constant comments of 'you wouldnt believe how expensive everything is over there now, bread, milk, everyday basics' and things about 'you have to do this' for instance she thinks I should tell work that Im going away for 12months then if I decide to stay in UK I can tell them when the 12months is nearly over.. point? erm.. your guess is as good as mine! She confuses me sometimes, she talks about 'IF' I come back but then shes talking about what I should do to make things easier 'WHEN' I come back... its a constant rollercoaster. Im being told I have to think about these things.. erm, why do I ???
Ive decided.. Im going to look for jobs coe August time, tell work that Im giving them a few months, tell the jobs Im applying for that I need 1months notice at work. I found a few more websites that were locked away on my 'msn explorer' favs list.. which I had to delete since the new hard drive, but my mum has it too so I was able to email em to myself alhamdulillah. I think Ill give myself a few weeks to spend with family.. maybe take a weeks trip down to London, stay at a sisters house.. then I can spend time with him (if hes there) and see if I can line up some interviews for that time too.
Ive also been thinking more lately about telling my dad about my deen, especially if h2b is moving away.. Id like him to meet my dad before he leaves, so at least one person can see he isnt a monster after a visa.. we will see insha'allah.. there isnt much time to sort it out and I would like him to spend more time, shame they are so far apart. Please remember me in your duaas... im really prayin that he can stay for longer and get something sorted.
Well, I had best get back to something productive :P heehe, my life totally... out with some girls tomorrow. Insha'allah the weather perks up a little, Ill post some pics when my comp is back insha'allah.
Peace and salams, Ammena

This new shift

So I was just sitting here thinking about the things I like about this shift and thought I would tell you all.. Im now wokring 7pm-7am for 15 days a month, the schedule repeats every 2 weeks.. one week I work mon, tues, fri, sat & sun the next week I work wed, thurs now you know the details, here is my list of the good and the bad that comes with continental nights B shift
The Good

• Im on a shift with the younger people, and my friends alhamdulillah
• There is less people on this shift (especially no management or office staff) so more time to play and relax
• I only work 15 days a month, so I could use 2 days holiday and be off for 7 days
• I get to chat to peeps in UK cause Im still up when they are starting their day
• I can keep up with my prayers (especially fajr) alhamdulillah
• I dont seem to be randomly shopping as much as I used to 'for the sake of it' (im too tired)
• I seem to be sleeping a lot better on my days off (normal times)

The Bad

• I work nights! enough said
• There never seems to be enough to do for 12 hours, although maybe we are just quiet at the moment
• I have to sleep until mid afternoon when Im working, which also means if someone randomly phones me they wake me up, it also means I generally pray dhuhr late too
• I miss my tv shows occassionally (everyother week)

So all in all seems that the good outweighs the bad, alhamdulillah. And now I have only 90mins left before I go home and grab a few hours sleep, enough to see me through to the evening cause now Im off for 2 days alhamdulillah :) time for me! I seriously need it with all thats been happening lately.
Peace and salams, Ammena

Today

Im officially 1 more year older, alhamdulillah.. alot has happened this past year, good and bad but Im grateful for where I now stand whatever position that is in. I just woke up at 4pm to 3 phone calls, 1 a nice long one from my dad which was a change but good to have, especially him telling me it was good news me coming home and there always being a place for me to stay there.
So the things Im grateful for in this past year and now

• my health alhamdulillah :) my hand looks the same I think, but thats about the only thing that is bothering me about my exterior and interior, Ive been through a few struggles in terms of the unknown of ailments but all is well alhamdulillah.
• my family, I got to see my grandmother in june whilst in Canada and she passed away in August. I also got to see my uncle in November and he passed away in May.
• my deen... i think Im growing in it, there are still many things that I need to get sorted in my head and listen to my logical side but Im getting there.
• my education, it helps me to see the better side of things and feel confident in the questions I raise, not just in my job (cause it isnt related to my degree) but also in general in my life. I hope to increase my knowledge in the future, although I dont think it will be career wise, more religion wise insha'allah

Alhamdulillah

the girls

We all sat on the carpeted bare floor, surrounded by boxes and material (I opened a box heehee) and opened several cartons of food. As we munched our way through chickpea curry from Omars, chicken and chips from Raja's, mango juice, salad & vegetable fried rice from the halal chinese down the road, we chatted about the days since we had all been together. They asked what I was doing when they were all sat outside in the car, in the rain.. I told them, 'the only thing I know to do when Im feeling down' they knew what I had been doing, alhamdulillah. We chatted away about my expectations for the next day, all of these friends were all married so they knew the things I was nervous about, they had experienced it themselves at some point. They all dished out advice, most of which I threw over my shoulder and made stupid faces at, we all laughed and clinked glasses (well plastic cups) full of fruity shloer making random toasts like 'to the city that never sleeps', 'to my parents for making us who we are', 'to school for filling me with rubbish that I will never use' It was fun :D My friends havent met my future husband yet, they will see him tomorrow at the ceremony insha'allah... I hope they warm to him quicker than I did.
I sat there, remembering our few times together that we have had... once the propsal was done we didnt really see each other, but spoke often and at length on the phone, this was when I got to know the real person who I would be marrying. At first he seemed ok, nice looking but weird.. although maybe it was the whole situation that was freaking me out and not actually him. After some time I realised he had a wicked sense of humour, was kind, thoughtful (although slightly forgetful) always willing to do something for the sake of other people. We chatted about the future, our future, kids, education, even some politics (although i tried to steer away from the subject too) it was generally nice to have someone I could pick up the phone and talk to alhamdulillah... its different with my girls, Ive realised that now, for both sides of the gender scale Im grateful for.
I brought myself back to life with a snap when Deena asked me to see my dress for tomorrow, I pointed her in the direction of my kitchen to the mass of material hanging on the back of the door. She pulled down the zipper to reveal a simple yet elegant long white satin gown, the gasp from the ladies told me they approved alhamdulillah. It was fitted near the chest but not too fitted, then shot out from an empire line to the floor, with the fabric touching the floor there was a row of pearls and hidden tiny weights to keep the dress down. My arms would be covered with opaque ivory georgette fabric with the pearls around the sleeves and the neck and also red pearls over the empire seam. On my head I would be wearing a red hijab (to match the pearls, my flowers and my kitten heeled shoes) under a white veil. so imagine... red triangle hijab pinned under chin as normal, then a see thru netted piece of fabric that would drap over my whole head and attached by a pearl covered headband that would also stop it from moving once it had been pushed away from my face. Very traditional and very halal :) alhamdulillah.

Adoption facts

I found this on this blog and just wanted to share.. recently Ive been thinking alot more about the adoption route I would like to take insha'allah and I know there are many things to think of... but its always there in the back on my mind.

1.EVERY DAY 5,760 children become orphans.
2.Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually, but… every 14,050,000 children still grow up as orphans.
3.EVERY 2.2 SECONDS, another orphan child AGES OUT with no family to belong to and no place to call home.
4.For every child that is adopted, 600 orphans will die.
5.If 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world.

Do you have room at your table for one orphan?
"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me..." Mark9:37a

Fact 5 scares me a little... to think that there are just as many muslims as christians (more depending on what you read) and we should be striving towards increasing the number of the ummah (rhymes hehe) Think about it.

Converted by a 4 year old

I just saw this on Aalyas blog and thought I would show it here.. shame its just a guy telling a story but I like to take first opinion and think that its true insha'allah. Subhanallah

Tagged! yeh thanks!

LET'S HOPE!

Tagged by: Stranger in this dunya

Rules: 1. ON your blog, post the Rules & 10 things you have HOPE for in your life.

2. LINK Tag 10 people (we want hope to spread people!) and LINK the person who tagged you.

3. Comment/Notify the 10 People they've been tagged.

10 Things I HOPE for in my life:

1 I hope for me and my family to dodge the penalty of the fire and rest in the gardens of Jennah, insha'allah

2 I hope to be able to spread the love of Allah (swt) and his prophets to my children and my family, insha'allah

3 I hope to be able to live my life for me (and for Allah (swt) of course) in the near future and be able to stick up for my decisions, insha'allah

4 I hope to perform hajj at least once in my life with my husband, insha'allah

5 I hope to continue on my quest for knowledge about this deen to at least fulfil me occassionally, insha'allah

6 I hope to move to somewhere that will give me the freedom to practise my deen without fear of oppression or retribution, insha'allah

7 I hope to always have a strong relationship with my family, no matter where I am and no matter what our differences are, insha'allah

8 I hope to be able to open the minds of people I come into contact with throughout my life so they can, at least, see the beauty of Islam for me, insha'allah

9 I hope to travel to more countries to see the beauty that Allah (swt) has given to us on this planet, insha'allah. Alhamdulillah

10 I hope to be able to die with the words of the shahada coming from my mouth, insha'allah

Hmm, who do I tag now?? I hereby tag,

Umm Hibaat

Aalya

Eyes Serene

Shawna

Molly

Safiyyah
SonyaM

Thats all for now :) I look forward to reading your blogs insha'allah

Update

So Ive decided not to go to the funeral, I told my auntie and she is totally fine with it alhamdulillah. She told me that she is going to send the death certificate over to me if I wanted to see it, then I can see what it says. I swear my family have me up on this intellect pedestal, its difficult to understand.. I know Ill phone up the neice, she will know :) masha'allah. (of course they wouldnt be saying masha'allah.. thats me) its weird cause my mum is constantly telling me that I have no common sense (which i totally disagree with) Anyways, I think she wants me to check out the wording and stuff, she said it says he died from a blood clot in the lungs. After all that stress, pain and therapy.. a blood clot!! Subhanallah. Im just glad its all over for him, alhamdulillah. I phoned my cousin afterwards and we chatted for abit, I told her I wasnt going and she was like... 'i understand' alhamdulillah.. but then I dont know whether they do or whether they just think they do. So I tried to tell her it was because it was just too soon for me.. my words kept getting caught in my throat and tears were just escaping, eventually I got it out and she said she would talk to my auntie to explain. Alhamdulillah, she said 'you can said goodbye to him from wherever you are, this is to say goodbye to a box.. no biggy!' which is totally my point too, so Im glad she said it also.
One good thing to come of this (yes yes, my silver lining!!) my mum will be away for my birthday, and mothers day.. which means they wont be coming over to my flat or making a big issue of the 'big day' alhamdulillah. My mum said we can 'celebrate' when she gets back (the weekend after I have 4 days off work) I wont really be celebrating, just doing something with her alhamdulillah.
My cousin also mentioned that my mum had told her that I was going back to UK, 'dont say anything she said' lol.. of course, my cousin cant hold her own water, but I did tell her to tell me if anything was said. Apparently my mum told her that she was angry at first and thinks she went abit mad.. but then she realised it wasnt doing anything.. alhamdulillah, shes finally realising. My mum also said to her that this will probably only be for 1 year and then I will be back... lol.. Allahu alim :D
Anyways, back to work.
Peace and salams, Ammena

Shifts

So i started 12 hour night shifts tonight... thats 7pm until 7am. I stayed up until fajr monday morning, then I slept till 2pm (should have tried for longer really) and now Im at work.. its 1.5 hours into my shift and Im already yawning. There is stuff for me to do alhamdulillah but for now Im chatting to Kate, and I have the transliteration of surah al-fil infront of me to try to kick

start me into learning it this month insha'allah. Im also accompanied by Companions of the prophet part 1 which I bought at RIS in december... Im already 7 companions into it out of 30 and Im learning so much about the companions of the prophet (saws) masha'allah.

I am also in the company of my trusty little ipod :) I wonder if I could hook it up to my computer.... hmmm... well I dont have speakers on it, so might as well just leave it there for now. I can also use the headphones to go through the computer for hearing the surah Im learning too :) so good company all around alhamdulillah. I have tons of lectures on this little gadget and a few nasheeds too.. maybe Ill write some notes from some lectures and let you read... hmm, looks like Ill be spending more time on my blog thats for sure. will you get fed up? thats the question!
On a different note, Im still undecisive about the trip home for my uncles funeral. We still dont know when it will be, my mums thinking the end of the week, my auntie is saying the beginning of next week. My mum asked me over the phone today if I had made up my mind, I told her I was still trying to decide and she asked why.. at that point i burst out crying while trying to tell her 'its just too much for me, I dont think I can cope with it' When i said it, it truly was the main reason Im not sure, not the finanical reasons, or the difficulty with any of the routines.. purely I dont think I can cope. When i try to think of it, I end up thinking of my nanas funeral and it brings me to tears, its too soon after. I know I cant do this forever.. sometime in the future I may have to go to funerals that are close together.. it hurts because I was very close to my uncle, he was so funny and kind and never questioned my opinions. I just wish it could have happened later, after I could have introduced islam to my family. Allahu alim. My mum also reminded me tonight that he was catholic so they are having mass and everything. I prayed istikharah and after just chatting wiht kate i think im leaning more towards the not going side. My mum says she will be ok which whatever decision I make (like thats whats pushing me either way) but she just doesnt want me to regret it in the future. How can i make the decision for that reason though? I will never know.. I know I will feel uncomfortable, my family are big drinkers too! Insha'allah I will make the right decision, apparently hes being cremated and she will keep his ashes to spread somewhere later on (where some of his and our family is), mum says she wont be there for that... but maybe I will, and maybe thats what is written for the best... at least i can still be involved then. I think Im goin to phone my cousin in the morning.. talk through things like that with her.

Hes gone

My uncle died last night :( hes been in a coma for 2 days now and now the suffering is over.

Inna Lillah wa inna ilaihi raaji'oon. Indeed we belong to Allah and indeed to Him is ultimate return

Insha'allah my mum is going home, maybe just for a few days, they dont know when the funeral is just yet because of the bank holiday. She asked if I wanted to go.. is it so bad that I dont really? I dont know why I dont want to, I think the last funeral just knocked it out of me. Allahu alim
PEace and Salams, Ammena

Framed works

So I took some pics of the 2 pieces of stitching I recently had framed. Thought I would share.