Update

So Ive decided not to go to the funeral, I told my auntie and she is totally fine with it alhamdulillah. She told me that she is going to send the death certificate over to me if I wanted to see it, then I can see what it says. I swear my family have me up on this intellect pedestal, its difficult to understand.. I know Ill phone up the neice, she will know :) masha'allah. (of course they wouldnt be saying masha'allah.. thats me) its weird cause my mum is constantly telling me that I have no common sense (which i totally disagree with) Anyways, I think she wants me to check out the wording and stuff, she said it says he died from a blood clot in the lungs. After all that stress, pain and therapy.. a blood clot!! Subhanallah. Im just glad its all over for him, alhamdulillah. I phoned my cousin afterwards and we chatted for abit, I told her I wasnt going and she was like... 'i understand' alhamdulillah.. but then I dont know whether they do or whether they just think they do. So I tried to tell her it was because it was just too soon for me.. my words kept getting caught in my throat and tears were just escaping, eventually I got it out and she said she would talk to my auntie to explain. Alhamdulillah, she said 'you can said goodbye to him from wherever you are, this is to say goodbye to a box.. no biggy!' which is totally my point too, so Im glad she said it also.
One good thing to come of this (yes yes, my silver lining!!) my mum will be away for my birthday, and mothers day.. which means they wont be coming over to my flat or making a big issue of the 'big day' alhamdulillah. My mum said we can 'celebrate' when she gets back (the weekend after I have 4 days off work) I wont really be celebrating, just doing something with her alhamdulillah.
My cousin also mentioned that my mum had told her that I was going back to UK, 'dont say anything she said' lol.. of course, my cousin cant hold her own water, but I did tell her to tell me if anything was said. Apparently my mum told her that she was angry at first and thinks she went abit mad.. but then she realised it wasnt doing anything.. alhamdulillah, shes finally realising. My mum also said to her that this will probably only be for 1 year and then I will be back... lol.. Allahu alim :D
Anyways, back to work.
Peace and salams, Ammena