Random randomness

Be warned....
Im still waiting for 2 postcards, one from Aalya and another from my friend Nashwa who went to Morocco recently :D Im excited about the prospect of receiving them and feeling jealous about their travels :P
As much as I love my home city of Liverpool, the travelling Ive done in my living places allow me to see the nastiness of the city too. Living where I am now, just outside of Liverpool where people who dont have the accent call themselves scousers and those with a part accent tell you they live in a different county than Merseyside and want no connections with Liverpool. I dont have a thick accent, but I still get taunted for it and people still know where Im from, those from here will say 'but youre not a true scouser' (regarding the less thick accent) until they ask what are Im from and realise its right in the centre - not on the outskirts of a different city like them. I like my city, I like what it represents and I like who it made me alhamdulillah. Now this isnt why I started this paragraph... being from Liverpool and living just outside I see how the youth try to be the stereotype that most scouse youths arent. I feel safe as houses in Liverpool, but walking through a field in broad daylight here, I feel a presence all the time. I hear the foul language of the youth here that I dont hear in Liverpool, I see the random spitting on the floor and total disregard for the health of those around you, I saw someone doing a David Beckham the other day (did you see the photo of him blowing his nose without a tissue in the middle of a game?) I see the disrespect of elders here and it sickens me.
In other way Im seeing this as a country thing too, people keep asking me do I miss Canada. And truthfully, now, yes I do... because I have nothing else to do at the moment, and I see things here that disgust me that I havent seen in the 4 years plus Ive been in Canada. I dont see dog muck on the floor or in a shopping centre (truthfully!!) I dont see the amount of litter over there outside that I do here. I didnt see kids hanging on street corners to only nearly fall over their beer cans the next day.
Im still waiting to hear about the job interview I had last friday, and I applied for a job today that (unknown to me when I applied) is the same company just a different department. So got lots of prospects out there, Allahu alim.
Today I realised that Ive put on a over a stone (US/Canada read 14 pounds) since Ive got back to UK. Ok, so I lost a lot of weight as some of you may remember over Ramadhan and some time after, now Im not the heaviest person in the world but when you get used to a weight for the majority of the time you remember its sort of hard when you move. Now Im not sitting on my bum all day, but obviously Im doing less movement than when I was working. So Ive decided, Im cutting out my processed foods, drinking only water, milk & hot drinks made with both (no sugar) cutting down on bread stuffs and insha'allah Im going to use my cousin's wii fit for at least an hour a day, starting from tomorrow :D this is my plan... I dont like the getting fatter feeling, Ive got used to my body shape and I dont like feeling the tightness on my jeans.
No new news about my uncle, hes still sedated, and still on the ventilator... his oxygen levels are up and down so no change really.
I overheard a conversation of an 11/12 year old (I know her age!) she said... 'Why would I want to speak Spanish? Im English' I pray this isnt a U turn in the youth of today.. not after we have fought so much to make people realise that un-English really isnt that bad

Family event in Toronto

Heres an event going on in Toronto... if you know me personally you may see that one of my best friends name is up there, who I explored Vancouver with masha'allah... so check it out

So go and check out the event in association with Naseeha the muslim youth helpline which is growing by the minute masha'allah

Last weekend

Aalya at 2nd cup
So its my last weekend here in Canada for awhile now and on Friday I decided to make the most of it and see some friends before my mum called a curfew for wanting to spend my last few days with her. The plan was lunch at licks with Nadia, coffee with Aalya, coffee with Ameenah, meetup with Noreen, Tea (food) with Kathy, night at Aminahs and breakfast with Melissa.. this is how it went... I picked up Nadia and we went to licks for nature burgers, anyone visiting around the toronto area has to look out for this small but successful burger chain and try one of these burgers, they are amazing!!! Then we decided to go for juice at square 1 and ended up walking around a little. I texted Aalya to ask her to meet me in square 1 cause I was full from the yummy pina colada juice then we bumped into a dear friend of mine alhamdulilah, Dalya who I was intending on popping around to her house later in the evening with a stitching present. We chit chatted for quite awhile and arranged for me to pop over later.. shes been super busy with wedding preps (November 7th insha'allah) so we start to walk back to the food court and stop at a salon that Nadia wanted to book an appointment in and we bump into another friend Tahmina... yes everyone was in square 1 on friday afternoon alhamdulillah. We chatted for abit and left there to meet Aalya at the food court, Nadia took our pic and headed off with the promise to come around to Aminahs later.

We sat down and chilled for abit then walked around to Old Navy in the search for new jeans for me, in the end we drove over to 2nd cup without new jeans (well for me anyways) Sitting there was nice, we were there for like 2 maybe more hours and had a nice time.. we talk about random stuff, but I feel she is the one who understands my situation more than anyone, as much as they want to.. u never really know unless you are in it which she sort of is and Im grateful for having her as a friend alhamdulilah. We waited together for Ameenah who got lost and stuck in traffic so we ended up cancelling, me & Aalya stayed around for a little longer then just before 6pm we split up and I went to pray at Nadias house which was close.

Then I met an old friend from when I first started working at Barrday, she was a coop student there and we used to meet for lunch and stuff :) shes a cool girl, very pretty masha'allah. I havent seen her in soo long, so was good to catch up with her at Spring Rolls and be filled in on what shes been up to alhamdulillah.

After that I popped back to Dalyas to give her the stitching present I made for her ages ago.. yeh thats how often I see her lol.. we sat down and chatted for over an hour though and was good because we wont get the chance to do it much in the future either. Allahu alim. Anyways, then I left to drive over to Aminahs and we stayed up until after 4am chatting.. Tahmina came over after 12 for abit and Nadia came over after 2 for a few hours.. was good to be with the girls alhamdulillah.

In the morning I met Melissa for breakfast at Muddy Duck.. was nice,shes been having some health issues lately that seem to be more serious than mine, so was good for perspective alhamdulilah. She also mentioned to me when leaving that she said to her bfriend about me 'You know Ammena is one of those friends that you dont have to be around 24/7 we can not be in touch for months and months, then when we get together and sit down.. conversation flows and its like I saw her yesterday' That made me smile alhamdulilah :)

Im going to miss everyone, but Im grateful for everything everyone who I have come into contact with in this country has given me. Alhamdulillah.

The other half

ok, so after a busy week.. ive finished work now and since I got a little poke from ines thought i would fill you in on the other half of my last weekend...

Where was I? oh yes.. the party... so in turn a few people turned up and we brought out a little food.. there wasnt too much, but it was enough and nice all the same.. cocktail sticks with cherries, pineapples & cheese on em :D we sat around chatting and discussing some very random topics masha'allah. In the end the girls who stayed the longest were Ms eyesS, my close friend aminah and a sister i met at the mosque during taraweeh prayers last year masha'allah.. it was interesting, the different walks of life these girls have all had and what brought us all together. My mosque friend asked how everyone knew me and a few girls actually knew each other before me.. like aminah went to uni with my friend filza and in turn aminah introduced me to filza when I moved to cambridge. She commented that she was an outsider because she only knew me.. made me smile, I was the mutual reason that a few people were there and I like that.. I have made some close friends here in canada, friends I dont think i would have made in england and i question these friendships constantly. As Ms eyesS left later in the evening (around 1am) it got emotional.. I admit I havent been the best friend with keeping in touch with her, she has always been the one to visit me in canada when she has been up, and I only went to see her last august (when she moved down like 3 years ago or something) for that i apologise and i pray she forgives me. I also pray that she comes to visit me in uk in the near future.. i would love to show her the things I have talked to her about, for her to meet bro A cause he knows all about her :D masha'allah. To see the friends I have there and, of course, to take her shopping!! heehee. insha'allah. Aminah mentioned it was amazing to see the friends I had made in such a short space of time, the people I had touched.. and I tell you, that nite was a little eye opener... and I need those once in awhile. I decided to rethink my 'friends list' noo.. not on facebook, you ninnies!! in my life!! But i was warned to not try to change how I am... Im the organiser you see, i sort out getting together with people and badger them until its done.. but Im getting to a point now were it exhausts me (physically & mentally) and Im sick of being let down! will see.. its been a hassle trying to fit everyone in to my schedule before I leave here too! but thats another post.

On sunday we woke early and aminah left for an islamic history exhibition at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) I pottered around for a few hours then left to make my way to nadias to drive to the aqiqah. This was the first aqiqah i have ever been to and didnt really know what to expect, although 2 ppl had told me all it was was food... I knew the whole reasoning and the slaughtering thing behind it, but being the veggie that i am i didnt really get into that! so i just sat back and enjoyed the time with my friends. I met up with a dear friend who has moved to london and was back for a few weeks, this was to be the 1 and only time i would see her here before i meet up with her there. Insha'allah shes offered me a place to sleep while i sort myself out.. so its good to know we will be seeing some new things there together, and she wants to do some travelling when Im back too insha'allah :D so looking forward to that :) The whole day was nice.. I left around 830pm with the promise to meet up with a few girls before I left insha'allah.. memorable weekend, alhamdulillah.

There were a few things I didnt do this weekend that I regret, but Allahu alim. I wish I had taken pictures while I was moving and that I had took my camera up to my mums, I saw some lovely horses on the side of the road that I would have stopped for.. and a few nice shots of my mum with Nadia, 'shes a nice girl' she tells me :D erm.. yeh I know!! lol

Anyways, I should probably get around to finish tidying up.. Im meeting a friend for lunch in an hour :D Watch out for more soon :D
Peace and salams,
Ammena

The weekend

so I promised to fill you all in and that is my intention insha'allah.. where do I start?? Friday night... Nadia actually got to my house late, around 945 ish but was good to see her eventually when she knocked on my door with her duvet, pillow & bags :) We talked for a little before realising she hadnt eaten and headed off to Quizno's for a sandwich, decided to try baskin robbins for ice cream afterwards too. However, it was shut and we ended up at Crabby Joes for dessert where I ordered the sickest (take it whatever slang way you want!) chocolate cake. We had such fun with my camera, with the brown paper covered table and crayons provided and with each other. I cant remember the last time we had that much fun... its been awhile but it was good to experience again. I always have so much fun with Nadia and feel like Im totally myself around her, she knows who I am, I know who she is and we dont care how everyone else is! Shes my friend and I know I can rely on her for anything, well except to show up on time.. but who out of my 'friends' can I say that about?? Anyways, we went back... watched a little bit of mean machine, boxed things a little, talked more and slept.
I woke up early (7am) to get myself sorted and ready to pick up the van at u-haul, the guy had told me I could turn up at 8 but there would be people before me to pick up their vans.. erm, excuse me? what happened to first come first served?? Anyways, I got there just before 8 and guess who was the first to be served? well me, of course!!! I picked up the van and headed over to Tim Hortons to grab coffee and croissants for my helpers :D I got back to my place and was able to finish up a little bit more packing before the others arrived, then we set about organising. It took 4 of us about an hour to load the van.. that was with chatting, laughing and eating in between moving backwards and forewards which was pretty good timing. Im upset that I didnt take a few pictures, I would have liked a nice pic of my helpers infront of the van or something :( to remember the day I moved my stuff out of cambridge, but oh well. Allahu alim... so we left for my mums about 1030, dropped a few boxes (my islamic boxes) at Nadias and arrived at my mums about 1150 -Nadia didnt realise the speedo was in miles lol.. sorry, just wanted to get that in :D heehee.. i thought it was funny to watch her speeding down the 401 thinking to myself, that girl hasnt driven in uk.. and she isnt seeing how slow everyone around her is driving lol :D
When we got to my mums, I was a little nervous... you prob all know my mum has a thing about pakistanis, and i hadnt told her nadia was, I just didnt think it was important.. anyways, we turn up, she backed the van into the drive and we went in for a cup of tea. We all sat and chatted, of course my mum and stepdad asked her all the usual questions, esp since she has lived in UK and doesnt hide it for a minute that she would run back if she had the chance. So there were lots of comments, questions and little silences but it went very well alhamdulillah. My mum even told her to come back to visit before I leave :D We left about 230 and made our way back to cambridge, got stuff in a massive queue and finally got to mine about 430ish i think maybe even later.. I tidied up a little, well tried and we chilled for a bit while waiting for people to arrive. There were less people coming now after 4 cancelled on me that morning, but alhamdulillah i was still expecting some good friends to turn up...
and that, my friends, is enough for this evening... I really should get some work done insha'allah
Peace and salams, Ammena

I suck

Yup, feel free to admit it. I do freely!!!
I was looking at changing my template, decided against it and was thinking of ways to shorten the transition to find that it had been shortened for me. So I lost all my links :( So if you read my blog but I dont have your link... tell me!! Or better yet, follow me! Then I can follow you and add you instantly. Please!! I think I can feel the withdrawal coming on all ready.
But on a lightly note, how do you like the new background?

Ramadhan 20

yesterday was a big day alhamdulillah, well yesterday after iftar was a big day :D although not technically a day, big enough to be called one. I started earlier than maghrib though when I was trying to find out from a friend where the iftar was that I had been invited too. Alhamdulillah I found out and it was at my mosque :) so I set off a little early as asked and wondered how it would be. I prayed a little before going in and eventually found Mohammed the man I work with after being told, 'the ladies are in there' I smiled shyly and thanked the tall young gentleman who had sternly told me this. As I walked into the room off the main corridor i noticed the number of tables and was shocked at how many there were, I hadnt expected this to be only me & his family, but i hadnt expected around 20 tables full. Then I made a little prayer and asked that they be rewarded for putting this on, insha'allah. I immediately spotted Mohammed as he walked over to me, and pulled (although not literally) me to meet his daughter, who would introduce me to her mother and s-i-l, and his 2 sons soon after. Masha'allah, they are such a cute family all together working to help the community.
As I stood around not knowing quite what to do I suddenly felt back in Bradford, the whole room was full of pakistanis (not that there is anything wrong with that masha'allah) and I suddenly felt like the odd one out :P I was aware of ppl watching me and aware that I couldnt understand the majority of the conversations around me. I was extremely grateful for the adhan for maghrib as I was handed a plate with a samosa & 2 pitted dates on, also a cup of what i thought was milk but to my surprise it had a sweet aroma almost like mango.. im sure someone will tell me what i drank :) it was nice.. I was also grateful to be able to pray too with all the ladies. I also bumped into a lady I have seen frequently at taraweeh and some ladies I met when I went to the 1 and only quran arabic class at the other masjid.
I walked back down to the eating area to looks of confusion, I actually expected someone to tell me this was invitation only, but noone did alhamdulillah. I pulled funny faces with a few kids there and then it was time to line up for food. Plate full of spicy chick peas & salad for me :( thats why i dont like big functions like this.. there is never anything for the vegetarians to eat.. the rice was cooked with lamb and the potatoes with some sort of meat too :( Allahu alim. I ended up sitting on a table with another odd person :) a nice black lady by the name of mariam masha'allah. The other lady (from taraweeh) joined us too and we had good conversations alhamdulillah. Then everyone was leaving for home, I thanked my hosts daughter and told her to pass on my thanks to her dad and arranged to meet up one weekend with our mutual friend insha'allah.
Walking out I was trying to decide whether to stay at the masjid for taraweeh or go home, when I found a voice message on my phone from a girl i met at taraweeh last year alhamdulillah. She was coming over tonight and was still unsure whether to stay the night, we talked and I decided to go home to pick up a few bits... the bad thing was, by the time I got home i had missed the adhan for isha so totally forgot about it until i was in the midst of the taraweeh salah.
Anyways, we prayed the 20 rakahs alhamdulillah and the witr salah too then sat down to read quran. I gave her a present of a stitching I had made a while ago for her and we chatted a little. But mostly we read and prayed... i ended up leaving probably about 1230 with her and it felt good.. a real boost of iman alhamdulillah.
So what do u say to someone who reminds you, after having had such a good experience at the masjid, that you should find and read the ahadith about the best place for a woman to pray :( Allahu alim

To fondly remember... Ill miss you when I leave, my medium white hot chocolate :(








The one thing Im going to miss about the winter here :( I have the scars to remember last season and Im prepared to pay in the region of $80 for a bag to take my board back to UK insha'allah

My dress sense

My bestest friend came over to visit me last night, we ate out at my favourite veggie restaurant and pondered the life of the world we live in. It was nice, I havent laughed that much in soo long and it was much needed alhamdulillah. We rented a film called 'Caramel' about a group of girls working in a salon in Lebanon, was a good film... even though I was tres fatiguee!!! but alhamdulillah I watched it all and tried not to think about having to get up in the morning. She left mine around midnight to drive back to mississauga, we are planning on insha'allah gettting together to break fast on Monday.. will see how that goes :) Anyways, while she was here I showed her my 2 new dresses and she loved them, I knew she would :P she told me that my dress sense has gone more funkier... Im not sure if its a good thing :P actually the way she said it I assumed it was and when i asked how? she just said that it had changed since I met her (end of 2005) and that I was getting more feminine.. shows how much we are changing because in 2005 she totally wouldnt have realised that lol :D how we change alhamdulillah.

Weekend

So my weekend all started after a rest at my place to jummah on friday afternoon. Alhamdulillah, I havent been for so long and it felt so right to be there that day, I dont know why but it felt different but in a nice way. After jummah I went home for a bit and did nothing, as usual ;) was still resting from the trip to michigan masha'allah, then around 6pm I left my place to meet my friends near where I used to live for a little leaving party. I turned up early so I decided to put some money into my bank account, then on my way back I bumped into a good friend of mine who was actually coming too (I was unsure if she was attending previously) so we went to hers, she got changed and we drove over. Once we arrived at the place she gave me a little present (loose top, hijabs and a bag) and we chatted outside until another friend came out to try and stall us for some reason.. I truly had no idea what was going on.. but eventually we went inside after a little trip in the trolley (see facebook pics) I was excited to see some really truly good friends there alhamdulillah... remember I was nervous to see who would be there, I had expected there to be noone but I truly wished that some girls would surprise me and make it a bigger thing.. well I suppose I was right both ways.. there were more girls I would have liked to have seen there, but also there were some girls there that I hadnt expected to see.. so masha'allah it was really nice. Anyways, turns out they were actually giving me a pre wedding party, not a pre leaving party which was totally unexpected but soo nice (so now my uk buds have to do the same :) London here we come insha'allah) Anyways, we ordered food.. ate some, played a little and chatted alot, there was lots to catch up on.. some girls I hadnt seen in sooo long so was good to be able to chit chat with them alhamdulilah. Of course, plenty of questions about bro A and plans.. plans? I dont even know when im flying home!! heehee... They had all made a memory book for me and made the theme of things that a good marriage needs :) lots of fun there and nice to see how everyone had made efforts in making things for me masha'allah. Will always remember my special evening with these ladies :D To finish the evening some of us went for second cup... neshee.. I missed you there :( it was just the right ending to the evening :) Thanks Naila, may Allah (swt) reward you for your efforts with the ummah. Cant wait to see your pics from the evening insha'allah
I stayed at a friends house that evening and the next day we went to muslimfest :) was fun.. the weather was really bad and ended up with us going home earlier :( sucky.. but was fun. I met up with a friend who couldnt make it the evening before and met up with a sister who I know through a friend and through facebook.. so was good to finally meet her alhamdulillah. I bought Sofia Baigs spoken word cd masha'allah, talented sister, met a few other sisters masha'allah and picked up some shirts for eyeserene :) insha'allah she likes them.
Anyways, Ive been off for 7 days and now its back to work tomorrow.. Im intending on giving my notice in tomorrow.. so remember me in your duaa girls :D shukran. On another note.. bro A flew to Algeria today.. he phoned me briefly before flying (at 8am!!!) and I havent heard from him.. I pray he is ok and just too wrapped up in his mum, insha'allah I will hear from him soon though.
Peace and salams, Ammena

Back

Salam everyone,
so Im back :) alhamdulillah... was nice to get away, much needed.. alot closer than other people I have visited while here, but similar stress with having to cross the USA/Canada border. Im just uploading some pics onto facebook if anyone wants to check them out. Was a good trip, good to see eyeS again, its been awhile since we did half the things we did over these past few days including talking till fajr ;) we are both having problems in our lives (as many others around the world) and sometimes you just need to get them out and said and deal with them. I want to say sis that insha'allah I didnt offend you with anything I said last night, my excuse? erm.. I was tired and not thinking before speaking, I apologise. It took me from about 430 till around 830 to drive back which included stopping for petrol which wasnt too bad. I got back to an unpleasant conversation with my mum which put a downer on the whole trip :( but Allahu alim.
So what did I do? well I left cambridge just after 8am monday morning and arrived at her house around 1230pm she showed me around her house (its the first time Ive seen it since she moved there) we had a drink and sat in the garden. Her whole garden is enclosed so it was so nice to sit outside without my hijab and absorb the sun, I miss the sun.
We did a lot of mosque seeing which was nice and even visited an area that we went to for the first time back in.. 2005 I think before she even moved over there. Was nice to reminisce although not nice to be there doing it, remembered that the guys around there knew nothing about lowering their gaze :( astagfrillah. Someone just commented on a pic on my facebook saying that the inside is nothing like the mosques in England and I have a theory about that. Islam isnt an english religion as we all know, buildings were built over there that were eventually taken over my muslims and converted into mosques. However over in North America because of the sheer space over here and the newness of the country they have been able to dedicate land and purposely build mosques masha'allah. Its a shame, but then it gives the buildings in UK history and a story, I love seeing churches that have been converted masha'allah. Although the one thing I dont like about them is that the womens areas are usually very small because of lack of space :( Allahu alim.
So for those of you not on my facebook just thought I would add a few little pictures to show you :D All in all was a good time masha'allah and Im glad I did it. Dont know when the next time will be that I will see her :( I mentioned it to her when I first arrived but we decided not to dwell on it and I assured her that she will be coming to visit me in UK insha'allah, thats what I would like. My door is always open to her, no matter where I am... you are in my thoughts and duaa sis... push that iman and get out with those girls... masha'allah they are such a good bunch. I was chatting with Tasnim on facebook yesterday and she told me that she sometimes visits Toronto so we are planning to hook up over here, and she mentioned Ramadhan and iftar with the girls (including you) masha'allah.. I pray that you have been led to a good bunch of girls that will help you with your deen and give you what you need.
Peace and salams, Ammena

One thing crossed off the list

So Ive gone and cancelled my Rogers tv (Uk speak for cable, sky, whatever you call the million channels you have) Here in Canada there is no such thing as BBC or channel 4, you dont pay for a tv license just for the box and the channels. So you either have Rogers (or whatever) or you have no tv, unless you have the famous bunny ears I hear about were you dont get good reception. I was thinking about cancelling the tv for Ramadhan and the other day I realised that I would only be here for a few weeks after Ramadhan finished, so why not just cancel it for good. Its costing me around $60 a month, so with 2 months left leaves me with some extra pennies insha'allah. It will force me to stay away from the tv over ramadhan and maybe get stuck into these other surahs I wanted to learn before moving insha'allah and maybe I can get my life sorted more. Im happy now that Ive done this, one less thing to worry about. The guy asked why I was doing it and proceeded to tell me I could have it transferred to my next place for free, I told him I was moving countries, so then he asks where and says he noticed the accent and blah blah :D It felt good to officially get something cancelled for when I leave though :) alhamdulillah.
Yesterday I met up with 2 sets of friends :D 1 of my dearest friends since I moved over here has been teaching in Turkey for quite awhile now and I havent seen her since December so we arranged to get together. I got to hers around 1230 and stayed till just before 6 :) was nice.. we sat down and chatted deep like we used to, it was good to hear about what she has been getting up to. Was also nice to realise (after I left) that it didnt feel like she had been away for that long. Im insha'allah hoping that me and bro A can visit her in Turkey at some point next year, I think he would like it and I would like to experience Turkey as a muslim, I was 16 when I last went and even then i noticed the history and architecture over there masha'allah. Hes met her before and this would obviously be after the trip back to DZ cause it would have to be the first trip :P Was good to see her, we went for a big long walk around her area, which also was my area before I moved to cambridge.. we sat in the library and pulled out magazines to flick through, was funny.. I picked up an old copy of hello! and she picked up some bollywood magazine, very appropriate :D we ate a light lunch from what her mum had cooked in the morning and we sat on her porch as she flicked through my vancouver pics on my pod :) insha'allah we will do tons more stuff before I leave and shes here for Ramadhan too.. so we should get some iftars going which Im looking forward to. She wants to do a few sleepovers at my place which is always fun :D and with the hours I work now I have more time to play around with, especially as she isnt working yet. Happy times!
After visiting her I went straight to meet up with some girls that I used to work with in Toronto, it was fun. One of them is my snowboarding buddy and I bought her a gift from Vancouver which is a metal pair of skies with Big White written across them (a mountain over there) I have the same that says Whistler over it... shame i couldnt find any snowboarding badges but it was close enough and will always make me think of her, shes been a good friend to me masha'allah. Anyways, the other girl.... well I worked with her, then she left our place, had a few jobs, then had a baby.. during her maternity leave I left the job and then she actually came back to there after her mat leave.. funny :) This was the first time Id seen her in ages so was a little reunion, was also the first time she had seen me in hijab. I dont know if my friend told her, I told her too :P but she didnt seem phased :D my friend even commented on my scarf :D was white cotton with a few crystals at the end. Was good to chill with them, we ended up going for a little snack at Shoeless Joes where another person decided to have a whole conversation with me about my accent.. ok, it was cute and useful at first but now its just getting boring.... then we stepped over to dimitries for ice cream :D was very good!!! I told them I was leaving and that I was getting married... my friend (on the right) already knew and she was so cute about it bless her... so then came all the questions, when where blah blah... everyone must think Im weird when I say, hopefully by the end of the year :P lol Allahu alim
Anyways, I should be off... need to buy yarn for my stitching, yes MY stitching :D its coming along slowly but surely. I get bored of the same colour, and so far I only have 3 colours, one is black and as its of the kaba you can imagine how much black there is :)
Peace and salams, Ammena

My day

So today Aalya came over to visit me :) She bought me brownies, which are yummy masha'allah. We went for coffee and walked around the shopping centre for alittle while. Then we went over to the masjid to pray dhuhr, was nice masha'allah.. always good to have a break in the middle of the day to remember your creator, I find this break (going to the masjid) alot more spiritually rewarding than just stopping what I am doing and just pray. I took a few pics quietly, well tried, while Aalya prayed the sunnah 2 rakahs for entering the masjid. After salah we walked back to the car, oh yeh... did I mention it was a mission to get into the masjid? well to get into the womens section that is! Anyways... we walked back to the car, she took a pic of the masjid (would be interested to see how it turned out sis) then we drove over to the shops :) heehee... we are both old navy fans, but not today! there was nothing there, and I mean NOTHING! So we walked over to smart set which is practically next to old navy (dangerous combination, for me anyways) I bought a pair of jeans and a nice flouncy yellow top which I think is sooo me! Then we drove over to Red Papaya for food, I ordered crispy noodles with vegetables and have to say my face must have been a picture when she plopped the plate infront of me. I was expecting crispy noodles, the ones you get with chow mein (well uk chow mein anyways) instead I got a bed of what looked like fried bits of string and I wasnt impressed... I ate all the veggies, leaving the tofu and noodles. Why tofu too? did I ask for tofu? do you assume that because I just want veggies that I must NEED tofu for protein? ARRRAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Anyways, then we came back to mine, de-hijabified and chilled with the brownies and some english tv heehee... we chatted, I gave her her pressie (the shahada on black fabric) which I think she liked. It wasnt until she was nearly going that we had a good full conversation and things with me and my mum.. I always enjoy these chats with her, shes in a similar boat to me and has always been the person who understands this the most, alhamdulillah.
I had intended to go to my mums today after Aalyas visit, but it stretched too long and for some reason I see me doing this during the daytime for some reason. I had intended to tell her about my upcoming move back to UK.. I realise alot of things, that it wont matter how I tell her or when I tell her shes still going to blow a fuse... but if I dont do it now, when will i do it? Although you all know... it will probably still take me awhile to pluck up the courage. Insha'allah it will be over with soon cause its making me sick.. its affecting my appetite, its distracting me and distrupting my sleep.
Then I had a txt convo with a good friend in USA... who eventually phoned me, and we chatted for about 2 hours (113mins to be precise :P) It was good to hear her voice and her little laughs.. I miss her. Insha'allah Ill go down to visit before I move back, and of course she wants to be here if and when h2b comes over to visit, insha'allah.
Now its nearly 12am and Im still wide awake, but with a stiff neck for some reason.. Im very close to finishing duaa: the weapon of the believer so insha'allah Ill get it finished soon, some interesting info near the end masha'allah. Now Im off.
Peace and salams, Ammena

I have it

Officially I can now prove I have canadian citizenship. Not that I couldnt before with my little card, but it isnt the most recognised this... I now have a canadian passport and have to say Im impressed with the speed. I took the application to the passport office last monday and I just got it now, masha'allah. Its weird to look at, so flimsy and thin compared with my UK passport. I realised the other day that I didnt really have to get it, could have just used the card and my normal passport but oh well... I did it now :P I also decided to get it without hijab just for the reason that at the moment family will want to see it and hmm.. might be a big shock seeing me in hijab. Im really actually not intending on using it, which you probably think is weird.. I think its a security thing for me.. its there now, I have something to show for these 4 years of living over here. I also cant believe its been nearly 4 years over here, it feels like longer.. but then it doesnt feel like that long. Understand? Its weird to explain. Ive made lots of friends over here.. granted not as stronger friendships with some as I have in UK but its generally because I dont spend as much time with them. The few strong friendships I have here is with people who I see fairly often, although funnily enough I have 3 close friendships with girls who I knew before actually moving over here, (2 of which read my blog so Im sure they know who they are) and although they all live far from me I have that relationship with them that I dont have to see or talk to them for awhile (which is good because they live 1hr, 7hrs and 4hrs away from me, in a different city, province and country :P) when I do see them its like we have never been apart. I miss have girls around me.. that I can just phone up and say, wanna do something. Everything is so vast over here that most times, you cant do that.. either because you have to travel so far to get to them or that they have already made plans after not expecting anyone to do anything. When I was in uk at school, my friends lived about 15mins drive from me max, at uni.. well across the hall usually :P living down south prob 20min drive max so Im used to things being a lot closer and feel very much more lonelier being so away from people and things over here. My mum says she feels claustrophobic when she goes home... but for me I feel safer :) Allahu alim.
Anyways, just wanted to share the fun news with you... oh yeh, on a down side.. I found out yesterday Im starting my nighttime 12 hr shift on may 5th :( which means Im working on my bday and my mum said they will come over to visit, blah!!! its mothers day too!! double blah!! Its only for 2 months, thats what I keep telling myself.
Peace and salams, Ammena

Ottawa continued

.. so I think I might be taking my computer back to the shop, so I will be finishing this blog from work. Therefore no photos :)
Where was I? Oh yes.. saturday afternoon, after the war museum we sort of toddled around for abit and picked up some dvds, had coffee (me white hot choc, yummy) then headed back to her place. We chilled for the evening, it was nice... she had university work to do and I was trying to finish my stitching project (which is very nearly finished, insha'allah tonight I will finish it) We had an earlier evening by turning in around 1130ish I think :) was so tired after all the walking around the museum.
In the morning we sat around chatting and reading or studying and we decided to go out for breakfast before I left then I could drop her off around there so she could go to her converts meeting, masha'allah. She really seems to have blended well into the muslim society over there masha'allah, wearing hijab full time and her parents seem so open minded and well balanced to accept this minor change masha'allah. I envy her slightly although not really, if you get what I mean. Allahu alim. Anyways, we had breakfast, mine wasnt too nice.. too much melted cheese and I was nearly sick :( but alhamdulillah it filled a little hole for my drive back.
I left Ottawa about 130pm and arrived back in Cambridge around 630pm which was much better timing that going there and you will all be glad to hear without a speeding ticket alhamdulillah :) I stopped once for petrol and toilet, so it could have been even less time :P but now Im back and getting back into my routine :( working days this week, only found out yesterday so looking forward to getting this week finished insha'allah.
Well thats it from me for now, insha'allah Ill get my computer up and sorted (its making funny noises!) and all will be well
Peace and salams, Ammena

Ottawa

So I promised a blog about my trip to Ottawa and here it is insha'allah. I started my trip at 11am on Friday morning, a little later than I had expected considering I had been awake since 9am but alhamdulillah it was ok. I had worked until 11pm the night before after only 5 hours work (see previous blog) so I was very refreshed. I took some sandwiches, fruit and water for the journey as I was intending on only stopping for petrol or the toilet if I needed it. I made it onto the highway and the car was really stressing me, it wouldnt seem to go over 100km/h even with my foot to the ground and God forbid if I came to a hill. At one point I was toddling along at 70 which was stressing me out completely! and the other drivers around me, I just wanted to shout 'I cant go faster' and I could just imagine their thoughts, 'silly foreign lady who doesnt know how to drive' Oh well, anyways I got to my friends at 5pm on the dot alhamdulillah which was the time I had expected. We parked in the visitors car park, unloaded the car and chatted for a bit while walking back to her flat. Lemme tell you it was sooo cold!! the wind was really bitter! I dont know how she stands it, she even say it was a nice day! NICE DAY??! Alhamdulillah :)

So I met her new flatmate and then we set off in search of food, we found a really nice middle eastern restaurant in downtown Ottawa. The service was good, food was excellent and the company was brilliant too :) If you know me in UK, I had an obsession with falafel from when I first tasted it at the arab cafe down the road from my university. Since coming to Canada this obsession has turned into an obsessive disappointment :( every place I see that sells them, I have to try them and Im always disappointed, well my friends.. not this time!! they were amazing masha'allah. This picture is of the ceiling of the restaurant, the guy did glass painting masha'allah and had them all around the walls, he was also selling big beautiful doors from different countries, wish I had got more pictures now. But it was really nice and Im glad we found it :)

Then we set out in the direction of Carlton university were they have lectures every fortnight (see the Muslim association of Canada-youth blog I added to my Islamic blog section) this lecture series is on the names of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and Fridays talk was on a name that I cant remember the Arabic of but it basically means him who gives life and death masha'allah. It was a good lecture, and it was nice to feel part of a learning group again, I miss that where I live. I'm hoping insha'allah that when I move back to UK and get settled down that I will be able to help more in the community and get involved in stuff like this with the youth (even though I still class myself as youth :P) I met some of Audrey's friends which was nice and we had a little chat after the lecture, then we headed back to the car. I took some pictures of the lecture building, yeh... I miss uni remember! :) then she took me on a little nighttime tour of the city, although I couldnt really see much for the darkness and the snow banks heehee but was nice.

We got back and sat around chatting with her flatmate who was really nice masha'allah, then we all turned in around 12am :) late night lol.

Woke up early the next morning, I wish I had her room!! I woke up exactly same time both mornings and it was a good time 8:45 which is something I need to do here!! Anyways, we sorted ourselves out and drove into downtown towards the Canadian War Museum stopping off at Quiznos for a nice toasted veggie baguette :) We sat about for a little while digesting the food and discussing, well I cant even remember to be honest lol. Then we walked back and drove over to the museum to spend some time over there. She has already been and apparently its free on thursdays if anyone lives around there and wants to check it out. Its a good day out, we spent 4 hours there and didnt even get to see everything. Its full of emotions though so be warned, I had a little cry at the beginning of it.

Anyways, I have to get ready to take the car back. So Im just going to leave it there for the time being, insha'allah Ill finish this blog off tonight or at some point tomorrow.
Peace and salams, Ammena

So far....

My life so far... well this week so far :P
I went to my mums over the weekend, I bought some bits for my snowboard and a cool tshirt with 9 different squares on containing british looking things which included; british passport, union jack, neon light for the The Cavern Club, a football stadium (that looks like Old Trafford) a red post box, a five pound note and something else that I cant think of. I really liked it though :P and I wore it yesterday heehee. I also got some goggles and a stamp pad for my board that allows me to stan my back foot on my board without it sliding off, just gives traction. Its in the shape of a butterfly :D
I was supposed to go for coffee with a friend on sunday night, but that didnt happen so I spent the rest of my night getting my stitching nearly finished alhamdulillah. Ill take a pic when its finished and post it here when I have my computer back, I just have a little bit of the border to do and Ive decided who its going to. Ive also commited myself to making a piece for each of my good friends over here, I have given 2 friends a piece (one as a wedding gift, the other as an Eid present) so just a few more girls to make for. Then I will start making some for friends back home insha'allah and maybe some for my new family :P and my new place heehee.
Anyways I was up early monday for work, Im working 7-3 mon-wed to work around my firearms course which is pretty tiring! The dude organising it, well he repeats his sentences like 3 times each.. and is practically reading off the book. Which I could do at home! I got home after 10pm last night, when I left at like 530pm, it took less time to drive there than I was told but still 3 hours to just read a book... its all about safety and a little history and stuff. The book is interesting, but he just makes it stretch out. Apparently the test is on the thursday, which I wasnt told before so will have to miss a bit of work for that. I was soo tired when I woke up this morning, was intending on going snowboarding after work tonight but think I will just sleep for a few hours and go snowboarding tomorrow after work.
Which reminds me, my snowboarding lesson :) it was brilliant, the instructor was totally impressed with me at the end. Ive learnt to turn and even went on the bigger hill and ski lift, insha'allah Ill take my camera with me tomorrow and take some pics. Ive also booked a lesson for thursday at 10am, which gives me a few hours sleep in, soIm looking forward to that. They close on monday :( and as Im away this weekend I cant go but Im determined to go twice this week and insha'allah go to the other one I used to go to if its still open when I get back from Ottawa.
Im taking my skates to Ottawa with me, so be prepared for plenty of fun pictures when I get my laptop back :D heehee, soo excited!! there is a lecture at my mosque on saturday which I obviously cant go to, but Audrey my friend txtd me to ask if I would be there before 7pm because there is a quran study class in her mosque then :D so I get to do something islamic at the weekend. Although, Im sure we will do more than that :P excited!!
Did you all see I have a new poll added to my blog for my next learning phase :) insha'allah you will all help push me on this one too :D alhamdulillah

My weekend

Salam everyone, so here is my latest news.. its been busy busy lately for me, hardly a change I hear some of you say, maybe when I get married I can take a break from all the rushing around I do.

It started on Saturday, I woke up early to start my tajweed course that I mentioned a few weeks ago to you all.. it went well masha’allah.. I was very nervous at first but it soon turned out to be ok after getting the connection established between the 3 of us, alhamdulillah there was only me & Sarah who im totally comfortable with so it wasn’t too bad. I thought she was sooo going to pick up on every word I said to tell me it wasn’t pronounced correctly but she didn’t, I was pleasantly surprised. My regrets? Not closing down all my windows first (I get so distracted sometimes) and not making notes from the start of the lesson. Sarah has already had some sort of Arabic lessons so knows the ‘vowels’ and stuff… whereas I don’t at all!! So insha’allah next lesson will be different. I found out that she couldn’t do a class during the week with me which is unfortunate especially with the time difference, I can have a class when the UK and Saudi generally are working or after they have finished work :D alhamdulillah.

Anyways, distracted again :) So after that I was chatting to a friend who was supposed to be coming over to mine in the afternoon to find out that she didn’t think she could make it because she couldn’t get a lift.. the person who was supposed to be giving the lifts, well her car wasn’t well at all. So on the spur of the moment I decided to drive the hour back to where I used to live to pick up 3 different groups of people – well that is 4 people all together just from 3 different venues. On my way to picking them up my car decided to overheat from leaking coolant again, so this is where the stress began :P I filled it back up with antifreeze and made my way over, all the time thinking what if this happens again as Im driving them back tomorrow (Sunday) or on my way back from snowboarding when its dark. So I decided to get it looked at either that day if it was a quick thing or the next day before I took them home. I picked up everyone (photos to follow, Im in work... shhh) and at around 515pm we left from Mississauga to Cambridge with a full car of people and pillows :D We stopped at sushi, and blockbusters on the way back in Cambridge and picked up some goodies then got back to mine and ordered pizza. Another friend arrived just as we did with her son and some nibbles, carrot cake, timbits and fruit for fondue yummy :D

More to follow :D

Sunday

What I did today: well I stayed at my mums sunday night after not seeing her for quite some time now. I had the full intention when I was driving down on saturday to tell her my plans to move back to UK... alas, i still couldnt face it. I really dont know whats wrong with me and it frustrates me no end!!! I can face up to anyone, except for my own mother, not only does it frustrate me but it also shames me sometimes that Ive allowed her to have this amount of control over my life.

I spoke to my family in UK too, I phoned up my grandad and spoke to 2 of my cousins, my auntie and eventually my grandad :P alhamdulillah everyone is doing fine, although I was told the ambulance was called out the middle of last week for my grandad who had a bad cough and started having pains in his chest (he has severe angina, so it was a necessary call) Hes ok though alhamdulillah. He asked me when I was coming back to the UK, my dads family all know of my want to come back, I told him I didnt know (which I dont, officially) then I asked him when he was coming over here :) although I dont know how things would work out, Allahu alim (God knows best) Then when I got off the phone my mum asked me 'I thought you werent going back to UK this year, I hear you say..... and say this.. ' *rolls eyes* Insha'allah this will all be over with soon.

Anyways we ate... yummy... nice roast dinner, then I set off for home after doing some revision for my test this week. I drove down to meet up with a friend from where I used to live, I miss this girl so much... she had started to give me arabic lessons while I was living in mississauga but it wasnt meant to be.. she still means loads to me even if we dont see each other that often. I picked her up and we went to Tim Hortons for some tea... we got the drinks, then sat down and tried to put the world to right.... she has a friend who just took off her hijab and its affecting her, then we discussed other people who have taken it off and how things were with them.. its all so heartaching sometimes... but God knows best and knows their intentions insha'allah. ... now its time for me to get back to my surah and my test revision insha'allah.

Fi amenallah
Peace and salams, Ammena

Convention, revisited

So where did I finish? oh yes.. i remember... So the next lecture which I was looking forward to 'his beloved: Aisha's relation with the messenger of Allah' but the speaker didnt show up for the weekend so it didnt go on. I dont think i sat around to find out what was going on, or I did and cant remember but I know I went around the bazaar for that time and for the maghrib and dinner break too. I was so much better with the bazaar this year, I know I still spent alot of money there, but it was for things I wouldnt have gotten for the price I paid and I did still get to see a lot of the lectures which was my regret from last year. Alhamdulillah. After my purchases we made our way to sit down for the lecture, and before it was a quran recitiation masha'allah

Then Hakim Jackson gave a brief speech about bridging the gap between ideals and reality in muslim families. He talked about how parents needed to realise that there kids can either go one way or the other, its no good asking them to practise your culture when they have never lived in the country you come from. Which is so true, its hard for the teens of today, if they want to practise islam they cant rely on what their parents teach them is the true islam. Parents have to remember that their childhood is very different to the childhood of the kids today, especially in a different country. I think many parents dont realise how hard it is in the west as a teenager, yes they might too have seen peer pressure but probably not peer pressure from non-muslims (im assuming from the muslim country immigrants) It was good how he put across his point and insha'allah many parents went away with some questions and reasoning in their heads.

Next was a lecture on: For the love of our children, related to the second degree murder charge of an Ontario man towards his daughter. This was totally related to Hakim Jacksons talk in that parents need to realise this isnt Pakistan, or Saudi, or Africa, or wherever the parents have come from. This is Canada and if you cant accept what this country might do to your kids you really should have thought more before moving here. You cant move with the 'i want to give my kids a better life' better life in what sense? materials? money? education? think about the affect on your deen, on their deen! insha'allah I dont offend anyone with this, and I am definately not pointing the finger for the death of this teenager. Zaid Shakir gave this speech with someone else, who I cant remember because the dude in the program didnt turn up. I wasnt intending on staying for this lecture but we ended up staying and it was a good lecture masha'allah. The next lecture was a video translation which we had had before at some point and it was hard to concentrate so we decided to scrap that one too. So we checked in with a few friends alhamdulilah and stood around till about 12am talking outside the lecture hall. The worse thing about living in Cambridge is how far away from my friends I am and most dont have cars. I stood outside talking with a friend, then moved onto her mum, then her sister in law then back to her, it was amazing masha'allah and I can honestly say i have never felt so welcomed and comfortable as with her family alhamdulillah. May Allah listen to her duaa and follow her through life. Her mother is a british convert, her sister in law is a convert and we connect so well.. I just wish she could commit to things more ;P cause we have so much fun when we do finally get together. Anyways, thats hardly a conversation to go into when i should be writing about the convention, Im trying to upload a little video i took when the Qari was reciting but i cant seem to upload it, maybe its too big :( oh well.

That was the end of that day.. and still we tried to get to bed early but didnt make it. And the sunday morning we too tried to get there early, we actually arrived earlier than the saturday but still late.. oops.. but thats another post :D