My 2 year wedding journey

After reading through Sara's tale of 2 weddings I wanted to comment but found that what I wanted to say didnt really fit the post.. so I decided to write my own post about my wedding journey :D
I shared many similarities with Sara but also many differences, lets start at the beginning. When we decided to get married it was just a month after we had met and the wedding was set for four months after we met. Can you imagine telling your parents you are getting married after 4 months when the norm is probably more like 4 years.. Of course because of the difference in my religion from my parents, I knew they wouldnt understand the importance or the need to get married so soon so we could enjoy our relationship in a permitted state. Needless to say, I didnt tell them :) After we were islamically married my husband got to know my family more and we took a few trips to visit them, my mum met him on a visit over from Canada and everyone loved him.
Just short of a year before we met we decided to move forward with the next thing, to marry officially in the eyes of the law to cement Chilli Tomatoes stay in the UK. My mum didnt speak to me for a month, then again for 3 weeks until my stepdad finally phoned me up to ask when it would be. The wedding was set for September 27th, there we had his brother and all of my family and friends (who he also knew dearly too) I would say there was only 2 families who he hadnt met because they live further away from where we normally stay but they were still dear to my life. I had planned the wedding in a little over 2 months, I bought many little things from ebay for gifts (mum, dad and brother) cake toppers, bubbles, balloons, a banner amongst other things. I used the dress I had bought from Monsoon for the nikah (religious ceremony) and bought a satin jacket to wear with it (the initial cardigan was too casual for my mums taste) that went perfect. I actually started to feel like this was the proper wedding.. I spend alot of time organising things, from the tie colour coordination of the groom, his brother, my dad, grandad and stepdad, the themed socks, the flowers, the venue, the table decorations, the cake (hand made cupcakes and a hand made 2 tier), the handmade cards to go with the wedding favour bags we made down to the handmade invitations. I had my finger in everything we were using and even hubby too.. he helped make the invites, the favours, wore the socks and cuff links I gave him with love, he made the rounds with me, he made decisions for table decorations, told me when I was going overboard and took in everyones congratulations with affection and honesty masha'Allah. I think the reason why I felt this was the proper wedding apart from all the time it took to organise and our efforts, for me.. this was the 'outing' we were officially going to be married, everyone would know down to UKBA and the distant neighbours in Canada. This was the day people would remember but for me it was the final thing.. we were going to married and noone could take that away from us.
We had big involvement in both of these weddings alhamdulillah and once Chillis visa was through the next step was to have a big official walimah in Pakistan surrounded by his family and friends. I saw all of our wedding occasions as for the people who it was important to, the nikah was for us, the civil for my family and although his family recognised our nikah the walimah was really what they were after. So we gave it to them!
Before I left for Pakistan I told my husband I was just open to everything, this was his culture and as long as I could wear my scarf for the occasions they could do anything they wanted. That was until I heard his sister wanted us to have a horse drawn carriage to the walimah venue from the road and for me to be carried into the mehndi on a big cushion.
When we got there I realised there wasnt an option of what we were allowing them to do, they were doing it! Until that is we told them if they wanted the oh so elaborate stage or background they could pay for it, 5 dishes were definately enough! Alhamdulillah we got good prices for everything but the organising for this didnt miss any tears from me I can assure you that!! I just had to keep telling myself that in a few weeks it would all be over and that was all I could do to keep my head above water. Details of all that are coming up so I will make this bit brief. Would I have changed anything?? Yes! Could I have changed anything? I doubt it! Im glad I did everything I did for the civil ceremony that I did, because if I hadnt I feel I would have felt let down. Im happy to have seen the look on my mother in laws face as she kissed my husband on the dancefloor at the mehndi, the look of sheer pleasure from my father in law as he sat next to us at the walimah posing for photos or as he sat alone with me on the swing at the mehndi.

All in all, Im very happy with my 3 weddings :) Its a story to tell the grandkids thats for sure and plenty of memories to share alhamdulillah

The New Year

what will it bring? Only Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) knows but we can still look forward to it. I have to say after many years or troubles and tests Im finally seeing the benefit of it all alhamdulillah. I thank Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) every day for giving me my life and for making me into the person that I am today, trust me.. things could have been alot worse :)

Last year (well still this year really) saw many changes and these changes were all welcomed, memories have been formed and bonds solidified alhamdulillah. What did we do? well, I suppose the biggest thing really is that we got married (civil ceremony) so now we are more officially married which in turn helped to keep hubby in the country with me :) yay me :) this may not seem a big thing, but it took many months to finalise, and that wasnt just to plan... that was mainly to get my mum to actually be on board with coming over for the wedding full stop.

I got a new job, which in turn lead to us buying a car which I love having now :) Now Im on proper shifts, which means I work every other week with all weekends off yay :) which was a welcome need lol

We booked our tickets to fly to Pakistan on Xmas day :) so we are very looking forward to that insha'Allah it will be tons of fun. Hubby is getting very excited now I think, every time he talks with his parents there is something to look into. We just recently bought all the presents to take over with us for the immediate family so no more present buying insha'Allah.

As for the future, we look forward to 2 holidays next year insha'Allah.. Pakistan then over to Canada in the winter for 2 or 3 weeks, depending on my work :) and who knows what else 2011 will bring. Im just looking forward to another year with my husband insha'Allah

Peace and salams
Ammena

So this time last year I was getting ready to say goodbye to my old lonely life on my own in a small bedroom with shared kitchen and hello to a life filled with another person (for now) in our own little flat away from everyone else. The day was a mad rush of getting last minute things from my old flat and moving them to the new and finding time to squeeze in chats with a dear friend who had travelled down for our nikah. In the end we (me and A) both turned up late for our own nikah but alhamdulillah it ended perfectly and we started our life together.

Im grateful for everything this year has given me, it hasnt all been sunflowers and rosy days and there are still many more of the unpleasant days in the near future. However we are still here, together and just as strong. Constantly learning about the other and surprising each other with tales and comments. We both know the other family alot more and have more communication between all of us alhamdulillah, we are now officially married to everyone (including the Home Office) and now we can start looking forward to a walimah in Pakistan and the first time I will meet the rest of my desi family insha'Allah.

I look forward to all the new things written for us in the future and pray we will never be separated insha'Allah.
Peace and salams
Ammena

:)

I'm now officially married to the whole wide world :D alhamdulillah. We had an amazing day and night with all my family and friends ;)


Ammena
Via BlogPress on her pretty cute iPhone

How I feel today

Feeling a little lonely today, this is the second weekend that hubby has been working and now I realise how he feels when Im working during the week and he is at home :( Trying to decide what to do, most of the wedding stuff is already organised so there isnt really much else to do.
I have one week left at work and then we are leaving for the north.. I finish at 1030 on Friday morning (start at 0230) then its off to pick up the car, get my fake tan and maybe catch a little nap before we head off to the M25 :D Im having 3 days off at work, mum is over for a week. Its going to be busy from start to finish but Im really looking forward to catching up with friends for a little party on the Saturday and with family and older friends at the wedding. My brother-in-law is flying in from Germany on Wednesday and getting the coach up to Edinburgh in the night time so I have to make some biscuits and cookies for him to pick at. Hubby has recently decided that he needs to start eating more meat and he thinks its purely that reason that he has lost so much weight since we married.. Allahu alim
Anyways, thats really it from me for now. Going to spend some time stitching, maybe go out and buy some wrapping paper for some gifts I recently bought and something else but I currently cant remember what ;)

Peace and salams,
Ammena

At the moment

From my moods we are very busy at the moment, although now currently Im reading Quran and hubby is talking to family. We are waiting for the postman, well I am.. I dont think hubby cares ;) then after Dhuhr insha'Allah we are going to go to the shops to look for his shirt and shoes for the wedding.. Ive been buying a few little things for the wedding... just bought my mum this little thing to put on the table at the reception and we bought my dad a personalised glass with our names and the date of the wedding on... insha'Allah they like them both.
The list of things to do for the wedding is slowly going down alhamdulillah, my next door neighbour is making our top tier wedding cake :) chocolate sponge and lemon sponge insha'Allah... shes practising this weekend so Im really looking forward to the pictures of those :)

Wedding watch

I recently asked a sister to make a watch for my wedding day. I wont really be wearing much jewellery and as my current wear every day bracelet is gold it doesnt really go with the rest of the outfit so I told her the colours and the materials Im using for other things and this is what she came up with masha'Allah such a talented lady. What do you think?? I asked her to put the clasp near to the watch face so the pattern of the bracelet wouldnt be interrupted with the clasp and I think it looks amazing. I cant wait to see it 'in person' and I most definately cant wait to wear it on the day insha'Allah

On a side note, I eventually picked up my dress today... and for some reason the chiffon has shrunk and is now shorter in some areas that the lined satin layers.. I cried :'( I shouldnt have messed about with it but theres nothing I can do now. She said it will weigh down with the fabric but Im doubting her seriously!!

Blogger

My blog is playing up... the recent posts widgets just wont update.. or maybe its this computer. For whatever reason, its annoying!!!!

We played at grown ups today and discussed money :) The money we have been saving since we married will be getting used soon and we were trying to figure out how much we have and how to sort it out. Insha'Allah it will work out ok for us all and I do remember that Allah provides.

Unfortunately my husbands bike was stolen from inside the mosque last night as he prayed Taraweeh :( my reaction? Im upset... a brother from our own community who may have prayed next to my husband or given him salams in the street has stolen something he has worked really hard for. It upsets me to think about it :(

Poll

After thinking about who to choose and not being able to choose between my 2 best friends, I decided to ask my cousin... I texted her yesterday to see if she would do it, her reply? "Just pass us a pen" :D My cousin alhamdulillah :) One of the girls I mentioned though has agreed to do my make up (minimal of course!) those who know me wont even question this lol :) So Ive asked her if we could make a little evening out of it, a few friends, take-away and make up.. proper girlie night, dunno if I can handle that :D should be nice though insha'Allah

Telephone conversation

had a nice little chat with my mum just before about the wedding things, I wanted to ask her if she would sit behind me and A with my Dad and A's brother to sign as witnesses. Thought it would be nice. Apparently the thought of doing that isnt so appealing to her, so she suggested I get a good friend to do it for me. Oh well... easy enough for me ;) She still wants 'special' flowers though :)
Im currently searching for a tie on ebay for my stepdad which is annoying but has to be done I guess.
Started learning surah al-Humazah (dont first verse lol)
Big intention to not fall asleep and miss taraweeh tonight insha'Allah

Cupcake Storage

I figure I will get more chance of a reply from blogger than from the friends who I know dont do cupcake stuff on Facebook.

So the thing is, my friend is making the cupcakes for my wedding insha'Allah, at the moment Im thinking I will be picking them up the Sunday evening for the wedding on the Monday. So will they keep? Whats the best way to store them? Anyone??

Please and Thank you in advance

My cake topper

We bought this yesterday while buying a little present for my brother in law when he comes over for the wedding insha'Allah

Ring

For those of you who have seen my 'other' ring... heres the wedding ring Im thinking of. Tell me what you think :)

Wedding favours

I collected a parcel today and after standing around listening to the accusing eyes accompanied by the smirks over the fact that I dont have ID under Ammena Butt... he finally gave me two portions to my wedding preparations.
Firstly... heart shaped mints that will go in a small dish next to the guest book for the guests to munch at (or keep) while they sign our book insha'Allah

Secondly... the rock pieces that will go in the wedding favour bags that hubby's mum is sending over from Pakistan :) 

I have ordered some more rock pieces, purple ones :) so far Im really pleased with these masha'Allah.. we are thinking to order some more of the mints because 100 just doesnt seem enough, also they are cute and only 99p :D In the favour bags there will be pieces of traditional pakistani fruit favours, some mini eggs (cause hubby recently tried them and loves them and suggested we put them in.. how can you deny an excited husband that??!) I think thats enough :) I did want to add something small as a keepsake, but I cant find anything simple and cheap enough. I thought about heart shaped stones, but thats practically impossible ;) Also we are getting some wedding bubbles to put on the tables so I think that should be enough for everyone to enjoy insha'Allah

Wedding shopping

On Monday we were both off so decided to go into Kingston to see if we could get some bits, we looked for hubby's tie, my shoes and some little bits. I got my shoes and a bag as you can see :) I had looked at these shoes last year for the nikah but I figured they were too small (5) or too loose (6) so I didnt buy them. Now I have enough time to try to wear them in insha'Allah. Im very happy with my purchases and even bought hubby his little lilac tie :)
We had a good day masha'Allah and came back tired, it wasnt something I wanted to do after a weekend of running around but alhamdulillah we had fun. I just cant wait for next weekend now, when Im not working, hubby neither and we can just sit back and rest insha'Allah
And Im looking at buying this little bolero to go with my dress, I just have to wait until the debenhams site is working so I can buy it and get it sent to the store here. Im trying to get all this sorted now so I can enjoy Ramadhan without the questions about everything.

Plans Ive been making

Salam girls, its been awhile I know and I apologise. I know there are plenty of people out there who have been waiting for my updates so here goes, Im going to post these with time delay so no'one misses anything and the posts aren't too long :) see how I think of you all :D Its not a selfish reason at all lol :D
Last weekend we took a coach up to Liverpool for the weekend at a cheaper price than normal (£24 return for two) which meant me taking a day off and not being around for much time. However, because we didn't have a car it meant we couldn't go to many places without help from someone, namely my dad. We spent the Friday giving in the marriage license, looking around the hotel where we will have the reception and sorting out little details, handing out a few invitations and catching up with a few people. It was nice to see hubby with some new people and some old people that he knows, it was good seeing him with my family and how they react with him too.
There are a few things that we need to decide on still for the party, table layouts, seating for the 'top table' I think Im liking the 'sweethearts table' idea the most. My parents are divorced and remarried which wouldn't be that much of a problem but the fact that his parents aren't coming or that he only has one person coming (his brother) it makes things very uneven on the top table.
On Saturday we went into Liverpool city centre and took a little tour, we've only ever driven through the city and never really had the time to take it in together. So with us not having a car and not being having a fixed timetable we went for a day out there and had a really good day alhamdulillah. We sat at the docks with sandwiches while the sun shone and the rain fell, it was amazing masha'Allah

We bought a guest book for the wedding that I had planned on getting before anyways, but at birthdays they were doing a free £15 gift bag with the book, so why not!! Its the me to you bears, and the bag contained a note book, small teddy, bookmark, pen (which we will use for the guest book) and keyring :) Then we took in a few minutes at the local cake shop in the train station and took a few photos for some ideas. My old next door neighbour told me the day before that her friend had recently opened her own cake making business and Ive taken up her idea to get her to make a top tier to go with the cupcakes that my friend Julia is going to make for the wedding insha'Allah

Polls

So over the next few weeks I might randomly be putting up a few polls to get your opinions on certain things for my wedding. Obviously you wont be making the final decision ;) that will be down to me and hubby, but your feedback would be greatly appreciated. Poll 1, cake! please vote.

Invitations

so we decided to make our own wedding invitations last week after seeing some packs on sale. We were very excited about the idea and started that day. Here are a few photos of the work so far :)
Things are currently moving forward alhamdulillah, mum is inputting ideas which Im trying to listen to as much as I can.. I know this is important for her and she feels left out and pushed forward because we dont have much time, but insha'Allah she will be able to look back at this day and remember the happiness and love that surrounded us.

grrr

My blogger application keeps not posting my blogs... maybe I should take that as a sign not to write what I was writing. Allahu alim :) Insha'Allah youre all ok out there in the world. We have booked out venue location and insha'Allah things can start moving forward with too much pushing from my mum *rolls eyes*

My news

On Saturday hubby never heard the postman call to drop off a parcel than needed to be signed for, so I went off today to pick it up. We had absolutely no idea what it could be, my mum was supposed to be sending some things over for us but the card had hubby's middle name on, which Ive never told my mum. So that was quickly ruled out. When the guy passed it over to me in the post office I knew immediately what it was, first of all I could feel our passports ;) Alhamdulillah, it feels weird not having a passport around. Although I still have my Canadian passport here it was strange and I was nervous that they might lose it somewhere along the lines (the Home Office that is) As I walked to the road I felt the long envelope a little bit more, why use such a long envelope for just 2 passports?? Then I realised there was a longer piece of paper inside and remembered reading that we would get the passports back once the application was finished. On my way home hubby phoned me (after making me promise not to open it) I told him, its our passports and something else, can I open it? lol... so after pulling out our certificate of approval for marriage in the middle of Argos I tell him 'Congratulations, we can now get married legally' Alhamdulillah, I knew it would be ok but to have the piece of official paper in my hands seemed to lift a weight off my shoulders.
Until I saw the validity date which said that it expired July 2010 which gave us a space of 3 months. That was when I started freaking out... I know this needs to be done, but when I get things telling me it has to be done before a certain date, thats what I dont like!!
When I got home I read the notes that came in the envelope which told me that the certificate validity date was for the notice to marry. So basically we have to register and set a date to marry within that time which made me less freaked. Then I started looking at flight prices for around those times, because this is what my mum will be looking at! and they are astronomical!! :( school holidays, which is annoying.. so will have to see.
Going up north the end of May insha'Allah so maybe that will be when we tell the family, although dunno how Im going to tell my mum. Im trying to not think about it just yet, because I freak out when I think too much about things and hence all the different scenerios. However, not thinking about it means Im destined to push the date later by not doing anything... hummm
Suggestions? ;) Anyways.. Ive got a few recipes to type up for some sisters.. Enjoy
Peace and salams,
Ammena