My 2 year wedding journey

After reading through Sara's tale of 2 weddings I wanted to comment but found that what I wanted to say didnt really fit the post.. so I decided to write my own post about my wedding journey :D
I shared many similarities with Sara but also many differences, lets start at the beginning. When we decided to get married it was just a month after we had met and the wedding was set for four months after we met. Can you imagine telling your parents you are getting married after 4 months when the norm is probably more like 4 years.. Of course because of the difference in my religion from my parents, I knew they wouldnt understand the importance or the need to get married so soon so we could enjoy our relationship in a permitted state. Needless to say, I didnt tell them :) After we were islamically married my husband got to know my family more and we took a few trips to visit them, my mum met him on a visit over from Canada and everyone loved him.
Just short of a year before we met we decided to move forward with the next thing, to marry officially in the eyes of the law to cement Chilli Tomatoes stay in the UK. My mum didnt speak to me for a month, then again for 3 weeks until my stepdad finally phoned me up to ask when it would be. The wedding was set for September 27th, there we had his brother and all of my family and friends (who he also knew dearly too) I would say there was only 2 families who he hadnt met because they live further away from where we normally stay but they were still dear to my life. I had planned the wedding in a little over 2 months, I bought many little things from ebay for gifts (mum, dad and brother) cake toppers, bubbles, balloons, a banner amongst other things. I used the dress I had bought from Monsoon for the nikah (religious ceremony) and bought a satin jacket to wear with it (the initial cardigan was too casual for my mums taste) that went perfect. I actually started to feel like this was the proper wedding.. I spend alot of time organising things, from the tie colour coordination of the groom, his brother, my dad, grandad and stepdad, the themed socks, the flowers, the venue, the table decorations, the cake (hand made cupcakes and a hand made 2 tier), the handmade cards to go with the wedding favour bags we made down to the handmade invitations. I had my finger in everything we were using and even hubby too.. he helped make the invites, the favours, wore the socks and cuff links I gave him with love, he made the rounds with me, he made decisions for table decorations, told me when I was going overboard and took in everyones congratulations with affection and honesty masha'Allah. I think the reason why I felt this was the proper wedding apart from all the time it took to organise and our efforts, for me.. this was the 'outing' we were officially going to be married, everyone would know down to UKBA and the distant neighbours in Canada. This was the day people would remember but for me it was the final thing.. we were going to married and noone could take that away from us.
We had big involvement in both of these weddings alhamdulillah and once Chillis visa was through the next step was to have a big official walimah in Pakistan surrounded by his family and friends. I saw all of our wedding occasions as for the people who it was important to, the nikah was for us, the civil for my family and although his family recognised our nikah the walimah was really what they were after. So we gave it to them!
Before I left for Pakistan I told my husband I was just open to everything, this was his culture and as long as I could wear my scarf for the occasions they could do anything they wanted. That was until I heard his sister wanted us to have a horse drawn carriage to the walimah venue from the road and for me to be carried into the mehndi on a big cushion.
When we got there I realised there wasnt an option of what we were allowing them to do, they were doing it! Until that is we told them if they wanted the oh so elaborate stage or background they could pay for it, 5 dishes were definately enough! Alhamdulillah we got good prices for everything but the organising for this didnt miss any tears from me I can assure you that!! I just had to keep telling myself that in a few weeks it would all be over and that was all I could do to keep my head above water. Details of all that are coming up so I will make this bit brief. Would I have changed anything?? Yes! Could I have changed anything? I doubt it! Im glad I did everything I did for the civil ceremony that I did, because if I hadnt I feel I would have felt let down. Im happy to have seen the look on my mother in laws face as she kissed my husband on the dancefloor at the mehndi, the look of sheer pleasure from my father in law as he sat next to us at the walimah posing for photos or as he sat alone with me on the swing at the mehndi.

All in all, Im very happy with my 3 weddings :) Its a story to tell the grandkids thats for sure and plenty of memories to share alhamdulillah