Confessions....

.... I ruined a new pan the other day again (I do it the same way all the time) with mushrooms!! for Pete's sake.. mushrooms!! probably one of mine, if not my, favourite vegetables of all times... gutted? yup!
.... I cried during Eid salah the other week. Dont ask me why, it just happened, I didnt feel stupid. Infact I actually felt a little relieved to actually have been affected by it that much alhamdulillah
.... I want to be married, now! Once Ive made a decision I dont really like waiting for an outcome, which is what I have to do until A's bro comes over in November... it just feels too far away, although we have a million things to sort out before then, I would rather be married now and sort that out later. Allahu alim

During Ramadhan and after

I was just thinking before that I never really kept you up to date with what I was doing during Ramadhan so here goes, obviously wedding plans were put on hold with the date being pushed to November insha'allah and it wasnt really something I wanted to think about during fasting times. So I was grateful for that alhamdulillah.
The things I did manage to do I was pleased with alhamdulillah, I wish I had done more, more was intended.. but Allahu alim. What did I do I hear you ask :) well I managed to learn surah at-takathu at last alhamdulillah and I was so grateful for doing that eventually, it seems to have been hanging over my head for so long. Now insha'allah I can move forward and learn some duaas and the next surah.
I did manage to fast for all the days of Ramadhan that was possible for me alhamdulillah, Im currently making up my missed fasts then will move onto the 6 sunnah fasting days of Shawaal insha'allah.
I helped out on a charity project with a youth helpline in London and had intended on helping with my local dawah table, alas that didnt come about cause I only really talked to the brother mid Ramadhan and then I was working on the days they do it (only sunday) but insha'allah I would like to help out in the future and they know that so look out Kingston!!! ;)
What else did I do? Oh I finished reading my quran early alhamdulillah actually super early all on my brand spanking new phone (not sure if thats the right word to use when talking about Ramadhan) I got an iphone the end of the month which I have been waiting for for sooo long :) and I love it alhamdulillah, its come in useful so many times already and Ive only just started to play with it heehee. I already have the Quran on there and lots of audio duaas which I intend to fully utilise insha'allah.
I did also manage to keep ontop of the extra prayers I intended to do and have carried this on since Ramadhan has finished alhamdulilah. Its something that I am beginning to feel much better abotu myself with alhamdulillah. I have always prayed the 2 rakahs before fajr and the 2 rakahs after maghrib, now I combine these with 4 before & 2 after dhuhr and 2 after isha aswell as 3 rakahs for witr before the fajr adhan masha'allah.. I quite shock myself sometimes *blush* but im grateful to be able to do these things alhamdulillah.
Well thats it for now.. been off work today trying to stop a cold before it starts, going to my uncles house tomorrow with my cousin to retrieve some items that my mum wants to keep so not really looking forward to that.. but life goes on :| Allahu alim, to him we belong and to him we return.
Bedtime now cause Im up early in the morning... so keep reading ladies.. fi amenallah

At work

so today at work someone came to pick up some bits for an outside part of the hospital that we clean for. I had only been in that area for 2 hours and wasnt expecting him, so nothing was bagged up and there was pieces of paper everywhere to be sorted. Eventually I got everything together for him and as I was closing the boxes he asked me,
'do you always have to wear that hood?' I nodded.. he goes,
'Oh its your religion right?' I smiled and nodded again then it came out... God only knows where from, but he definately said,
'I thought you didnt have to wear that at home' I smiled and tried to leave it at that.. but this came out,
'Yes, but Im not at home am I!?' too much? It was just so obvious to me.. does he think I live in my department? seriously??

Randomness

I got told yesterday in work after a conversation about hijab and some other general islamic bits 'such a waste' I was confused, a waste of what? my hair? or is it just because you cant overcome the curiosity? How do I answer comments like that?
This Ramadhan has brought back something that had been dormant since quite awhile ago actually so I thought maybe you peeps could enlighten me somehow. Its about prayer mats, not whether they are allowed.. but I get bugged by flipping the corners over.. actually I dont get bugged by the action but by the reason Im given for it. 'because otherwise Shaitan prayers on your mat while you arent there' am I being stupid? naive? dumb? shouldnt we want shaitan to pray while we arent there? wouldnt that maybe make 'him' better in some way? please enlighten insha'allah :D
Tonight my Canadian homie Nashwa is coming over for iftar, I found a vegetarian restaurant in my city... granted it probably wont be as good as Zen gardens, but Im willing to try it out with her. Maybe we will grab a film afterwards too insha'allah. Then tomorrow I might be getting my iphone MIGHT.. A's bro was supposed to get here today from Germany, but he missed the train so will be here tomorrow morning insha'allah. Then we are going to the science museum (you know how I all love this museum being the nerd that I am!) so something to look forward to, and I get to grill him about A's family life and past heehee :D im sure hes reading this thinking hmm lol
As for anything else.. well insha'allah iftar at Mina's place tomorrow which Im looking forward to as I havent seen her since before Ramadhan started, and with her moving so soon and all that jazz. Im still looking for a jacket to go with my dress and realised that I should also be looking for an open abaya to go with it too.. was going to wear an abaya that I already have but in 2 minds about that now... guess I can ask opinions tonight and saturday night when I have another sister stay over... Im happy to be having friends stay over, its something I truley missed this year.
Well thats it for now my friends, insha'allah you use the last few days of Ramadhan wisely, cant believe how quickly its gone this year. Insha'allah we will all be around to reap the benefits and make up for things we didnt get done this year, next year.
Fi amenallah, peace and salams

Update on my life

Salam, sorry I havent posted lately... I was having an hormonal few days.. you know how it is. I wasnt really feeling Ramadhan (I havent been since the beginning of the month) esp since I wasnt praying or fasting... do I feel different now? well I finished learning a surah that I started learning (then promptly forgot) while I was in Canada, surah 102 at-takathur so alhamdulillah that is there in the grey matter. Also just before I stopped praying 2 other surahs that I seemed to have forgotten suddenly reentered my brain and I was able to use for my salah alhamdulillah. So Im feeling a little better about it all, plus Im off from wed 16th until mon 21st so insha'allah I will be off for Eid, although now I really cant believe Im discussing the end of Ramadhan and so close to it having started... insha'allah it will feel better. In my time off Im going to finish reading my quran, maybe start learning the english of another surah or a new duaa, I have restarted my stitching which is coming along nicely may I add. Im also planning on meeting up with a few friends while Im off and having iftar with them, Ive already managed to plan next friday my friend Davina is coming over to Kingston.. insha'allah shes going to stay the night and we will go for Taraweeh which Im looking forward to insha'allah.

In other areas of my life Im still looking for a jacket to go with my dress... I actually found some shoes the other day in the sales, they arent exactly what I was looking for but I figure my dress will be hanging down over them so no big worries. I just had 2 small fillings on Wednesday which means that I can push forward in getting my braces put on now. Im not totally looking forward to the prospect but Im looking forward to getting it sorted, I can see my tooth overlap getting worse over the years. Im not going to complain about not getting it sorted sooner when I had 2 chances to do it in Canada, because it wont make things better. So Im just looking forward to doing it now insha'allah. I just got back from having a paraffin wax manicure as I have decided I need a few things sorting before the wedding so Im looking at having a few treatments to make me just that little bit more special insha'allah. You probably wont be able to see any difference in the picture but I can definately feel it let me tell you :)
Anyways, thats it from me for now, Im working on sunday so for now Im going to finish this part of my quran reading.. maybe start the next part and plan my day out in London tomorrow :) take care ladies.

Ring

So I did promise you all.. I added some to Facebook but for all you lovely ladies, here are some pics of my ring that I picked up yesterday masha'allah, oh and a food picture for those of you who love them :D

the follow on

So I bought a bolero jacket in Finsbury park in one of the last shops I tried.. I probably should have started right at the beginning asking them if they sold them ;) oh well... it was nice too, not fitted and a good portion of material to cover the chest, the other ones had been like the cardigans u can buy with no material at all to them. Then we decided to grab the tube to oxford street for my shoes, when we got there we had a look in debenhams in the bridal section and I did actually find some heels for 25quid which matched the dress perfectly in colour but I was still in 2 minds about whether to go for flats or heels. what do you guys think?
After that it was nearly time for maghrib so Davina made her way home and I headed to East London mosque to break my fast there. It was an experience I can tell you that.. many bengali women with a few kids. I was waiting for the adhan, she still hadnt given us our water jug but on the plate was a little bit of melon, some dates and some pakora which were all yummy masha'allah (thinking I might have my indian treats for iftar tonight) So we ate, I left 2 dried dates on my plate.. they looked manky, until I got asked, yes moi!! 'do you speak english?' I dumbly nodded my head which was probably the wrong reaction. She told me to try them, (not seeing I had already eaten the fresh one) that they were good for me, masha'allah. I tried one.. they werent that manky but definately not better than the fresh ones. She asked if I liked them.. I muttered something along the lines of 'not what I was expecting' and something else cause she near enough turned to her side straight away. Her daughter smiled and said to me, 'thats a northern accent, where you from?' so we had a discussion about my 'thick' accent and why I was in London, she was really nice masha'allah. Then we prayed and I sort of hung around after to see if I could leave my shopping trolley up here (yes I got a bright orange shopping trolley :D Im an old fart lol, but I now have a beautiful peace crocheted work of art pinned to it care of Rainbow masha'allah) I noticed they were giving out food too, so got pushed into the crowd for that, good job I noticed the daughter again cause she pointed out what was what (didnt even think about it!) note to self... couscous and rice arent always safe (cous cous made by an arab with chicken!)
After that I made my way outside to wait for A, it was the first time I had seen him since the beginning of Ramadhan and we went to the restaurant next door (barakah is it?) for iftar. I havent been in there for ages, so was nice to sit inside masha'allah. We chatted for a little while about how Ramadhan has been so far and any plans we had for the near future insha'allah. The food was nice, I had dolmades (stuffed vine leaves).. not as good as Ms EyeS... A didnt like them, but I thought they were ok (not going to tell him that when he says [imagine the face] 'you like them? lol) and I had a greek salad too which I havent had for awhile, oh and Mango lassi which I ended up taking away with me. After we finished we parted and went to pray taraweeh in the mosque, I met up with Rainbow as I was staying the night at hers and she brought her weeist one over with her too which was a nice surprise. I always miss the kids of my friends, especially the lil ones like Toma and Noora (princess ines' littlest one) I get to be a super kid with those two lol :D
Taraweeh was amazing, soo many sisters masha'allah, I can only imagine the number of guys on the other side masha'allah. It was nice to be part of something big like that especially when I havent been going to Kingston mosque for taraweeh (I suddenly started missing Canada and my friends at the beginning of Ramadhan too :| which isnt good when Im all alone here) We stayed for the 8 rakahs, then got my shopping trolley and headed back to hers where a mutual friend was waiting for us :D When we got back after some chit chat on the tube we settled down with mint tea, trifle and swiss rolls yummy :) Me and the mutual friend stayed up when Rainbow went to bed but I think an hour later she came back downstairs and we ended up staying up till after suhoor which was nice... there was much to discuss, we chatted about my up coming wedding (by the way dates been changed.. now end of October beginning of November insha'allah) about some islamic issues relating to marriage and generally about life. It was nice to catch up after such a long time alhamdulillah, I missed you girls!!