My day

.. assalamalikum everyone,

so yesterday I was sat in the office of one of the higher ppl in work waiting to ask her a question, then the subject turns to religion, one of the guys in the office in Cuban so she asks him, then asks me if Im catholic or christian? I say no, Im muslim... hee hee... she just looks at me and goes, no youre not.. I smile and i say I am. So shes like oh ok then... so alhamdulillah one more person told..

Well we got a new student today, one of the guys was showing her around today, her names Fatimah masha'allah... and shes a hijabi masha'allah... Ive been makin duaa for a muslim to start at work, alhamdulillah here she is. She looked east asian or something I think, and she seemed oldish.. well mother age at least.. but alhamdulillah there she is.

So I havent read that much of the book I mentioned.. on chapter 4, apparently it gets better after this chapter. Although I was surprised to realise that it is actually written by a woman. The author name says Ruqayyah Waris Maqsood.. it could be a pen name, but im hopeless with those types of names and determinin the sex. Anyways.. I feel better at knowing that this woman has been through the motions of bein a muslim wife alhamdulilah and I feel more alert when i actually read it now cause there might be some useful things in there.

Well, Im off to read more and carry on with my sewing... insha'allah Ill show you all soon... then get the orders comin in

Im in pain

well I had my bottom 2 wisdom teeth took out thursday, as i said underneath... subhanallah I couldnt believe how massive they are, God only knows where i store these things. I was gonna take a pic and post it here.. but im not too sure if that woudl be appreciated... lemme know if you wanna see. So at the moment, Ive got hamster cheeks, mum says i look like ive got the mumps. Insha'allah it will go soon, apparently they popped out, I was told they would cut them in half cause they were impacted.. but they didnt even have to do that. And they never stitched me up either.. dunno if thats good or not, apparently im better than my mum was when she had hers out.. but that was centuries.. no sorry, decades ago only joking... Theyve put my on penicillin and tylenol with codeine... i aint takin the painkillers unless i need to... i dont like taking em for anything really.. even my painful womens problems, Im a tough 'un hee hee.. but i gotta take the antibiotics until they are finished.. which isnt long really.

So I started back at college today, man it was hard... think cause of the drugs and pain i wasnt totally focused... insha'allah things will be better next week, I do seriously have to do some work on that though insha'allah.. and it was only reviewing stuff today. It was good to see my old classmates though, although there werent as many there today that should have been, insha'allah there will be more next week.

What else is there to say?? Im sure i had something else to say... lets see, teeth, college, oh yeh... insha'allah u will all be pleased to know that ive learnt the final sentence of the surah i was learning.... alhamdulillah, so now i can add surah Al-Kauther to my knowledge of the quran alhamdulillah. Now have to find another one.. and the rest seem so much longer than the 3 i know... make duaa for me that the next one will come easy. I want one that means something... not that they dont mean anything, I mean something that has a higher meaning to it.. Oh forget that, I really dont know how to put it into words... insha'allah you understand my meaning and noone takes offence from this...

Anyways... I gotta do some more reading of my book.. ok, I dont got to, I want to.. hee hee, my english has gone terrible since coming to canada.. but alhamdulillah I still have my accent... that wont be leavin me insha'allah.

Fi amenallah, your sister in Islam

Get ready...

....I have a feeling this is gonna be a long one...

Sorry its been so long since i last wrote, insha'allah this entry finds you all in the best of health and iman.. So I had a panic this morning, I woke up to pray fajr only to realise I couldnt remember the last line of surah al-nas.. subhanallah, I was nearly crying with frustration. I could remember the first half of the last line.. then my memory went blank. Alhamdulillah when i got home this evening i remembered to look it up and used it for praying asr when i realised the ending... It was weird.. I felt so lost with only 1 full surah to recite.. yes i still havent remembered the last line of the surah i mentioned i was learning... its the 'and he who hates you, he will be cut off' its sooo long... Insha'allah ill do it by the end of the week.

I got an email today from my cousin back home with some shocking news... my half sister is 4 months pregnant, i know i say i havent got any siblings.. cause i dont really count them as my family, these are my dads kids from after he left us... I think i should fill u all in on a few things... my mum & dad divorced when i was like 1 1/2yrs old.. i dont ever remember him being there, which i think is a good thing.. and from the things hes done to me in the past im glad of this alhamdulillah.. he went on to have 3 more kids and i dont really get on with any of them... ive tried to patch things up with my dad, given him numerous opportunities... and all of them have blown up in my face.. he just isnt an emotional person and doesnt know how to show the slightest emotion towards me.. i havent spoken to him since june, he has email and knows my number.. I can understand him being wary of phonin cause my mum might pick up the phone... but thats his choice... Apparently he isnt pleased with the newcomer.. thats what my cousin says anyway... i can imagine, insha'allah this baby will be brought up in a better environment, Allah alim...

I was up-to-date with my work, then this was noticed.. so they gave me loads more to do... it was ok last week, cause i couldn't pray so was ok with gettin the extra hours for some time i have to take off on thursday... Im getting my other 2 wisdom teeth out... which im not too pleased about.. its gettin done at the dentist which will be a change (havent done that since i was a kid) Im just worried about the way they do things... Nitrous oxide... 2 injections... suppose thats my biggest worry but also, when i was a kid they gave u gas to knock u out then shoved the needle in ya.. now im gonna feel it... ooh.. ok, less talk abotu that, Im gettin nervous now..

Also, got my passport back alhamdulilah... now i can go home or to the USA with one of my good friends when she visits there... she goes to this massive muslim community with loads of islamic shops and hijabis everywhere masha'allah...

Anyways, best go pick it up.... insha'allah ill write soon.. Fi amenallah

Islamic sayings

Occasion What to say and its meaning When Meeting someone Greet them by saying Salam Alaikum wa Rahmat Allah he wa Barakato hu Peace blessings and mercy of Allah be upon you When greeted reply by saying Wa Alaikum Salam wa Rahmat Allah he wa Barakato hu And upon you too Peace blessings and mercy of Allah When starting to do something say Bism-illah ir Rahman ir Rahim In the name of Allah the beneficent, The merciful When intending to do something in future say Insha-Allah God willing When in pain and distress say Ya-Allah O-Allah When expressing appreciation say Masha-Allah As Allah willed When thanking someone say Jazak-Allah Khayran May Allah recompense you When awakening from sleep say La-ilaha-illallah There is no God except Allah When thanking Allah or When sneezing say Alhamdu-lillah All praise to Allah When someone else sneezes say Yar-Hamuk-Allah May Allah have mercy on you When someone supplicates say Ameen Please Reply When taking oath say Wallah By Allah When repenting of a sin say Astagh-Firullah May Allah forgive When you see another Muslim laughing say Adha kal laa ho sinaka May Allah make you laugh as long as you live When you see something surprising or astonishing say Subhan Allah Glory to Allah When death message or bad news is received say Inna-Lillahi-wa- inna-ilaihi Raji-oun To Allah we belong and to him is our return

Feeling better

Assalamalikum everyone..

ok, so im feeling better with myself today alhamdulillah. I spoke with a good friend of mine from school, we did alot of growing up together and she knows me better than I know myself sometimes alhamdulillah. She asked me about the usual stuff that she knows affects me in my life, my dad, my Islam and telling my mum, my silly useless (mostly) friends back home. Shes always makes me cry when i hear her voice, but she always makes me feel better and loved when I get off the phone from her. May Allah (swt) show her the right path and grant her Jennah.

So what else have i done since i last wrote? Well I went to look at an apartment last night with my mum.. it was very downtown toronto, very busy and streamin with ppl, i dont think it would b a good place to practise my deen properly.. plus i found out that there is actually 2 bedrooms there, I thought the woman i was in contact with would be the other roomie.. so i wasnt too fussed that my mum didnt like it. There was brown shag pile carpet in there, that looked like it hadnt been changed or cleaned since the 70s... So insha'allah im going looking at more next sunday and mums coming with me... so she can see them all... ive already been to 2 places that i want to show her... and i like em, just a matter of what she likes. I actually saw a place in the magazine for a room in a place, QEW & winston churchill... which is right by the ISNA masjid which would be really nice insha'allah....

What else can i tell you all?? erm.... i dont think much else really.. other than I really want to tell my mum now... does anyone have any suggestions?? Mayb stories of how telling their parents of their reversion went... anything would be helpful insha'allah.

Ok, so thats enough from me for now... insha'allah Ill write soon.. take care... Fi amenallah

Bad day

assalamalikum everyone,

well today is sunday, I was supposed to be looking at apartments today but the person i was supposed to be goin with is busy, after i made an appointment with someone. So I told my mum and she went off on one sayin i never told her i was goin to look at some, when she knew but just made plans over mine.. so i told her, next sunday im looking at places and she was like.. so dya want me to come? erm.. of course, other wise i wouldnt tell you. So insha'allah ill find somewhere 'nice' that she approves of, cause she says she isnt going to let me move into a rough place.. erm, would i want to?

What else? well I went to Canadas wonderland yesterday with my friend, she loved the hand painted hijab as much as i hoped she would, and the little sewing i did for her (check out my craft projects picture) Had a fun time.. didnt get on alot of rides, cause the place was heaving.. it was soo busy it was unbelievable. Insha'allah im goin next weekend again, I got a season pass... $60 for the rest of this season and all of next season too which includes muslim day too insha'allah so I can go there. Yeh!! I also picked up off my friend 2 abayas that i bought from simply stylish designs masha'allah shes a good sis, and a good sewer... I was so impressed with the work, my friend was too.. so I passed her details on. Insha'allah she will get more work from her designs... Im gonna tell her in an email soon how much i luv em, although she'll prob read this before i do, if so.. jazakallah sis...

So my mums gone out now... I really do try not to get her angry, but sometimes she hears & sees things she wants to. She starts shouting, and when i try to calm her down by just sayin ok.. that seems to make her worse. Its soo confusing for me, I reckon u are all thinking.. she shouts at u?? How old are u?? yes i know.. im 24.. i shouldnt let her rule my life the way she does.... and i really dont know why i do it. I dont know whether its the guilt i feel i carry for my father leaving, or mayb cause its always been me & her, but now she has her own life.. but she still wont let me lead mine. It hurts so much sometimes, more than ppl can understand... my sisters tell me they understand, but they really dont.. unless they have been in the situation were their parent refuses to accept anything 'non-white' were they feel i am an embarassement to them because i dont show off my skin or shape in tight clothes.. even though my mum finds it completely normal to walk around in shorts and a tank top, why shoudlnt i? u know the old thing.. youve got it, why not flaunt it?? Subhanallah... Ive been muslim for nearly 2 yrs now, and i still cant tell my mum, I know leavin it longer is makin it worse. She believes i was following the herd at university.. that i shouldnt b a sheep, yet she wants me to follow what the family think..erm.. isnt that sheep behaviour too?? Do you think it woudl b better to tell her ive just converted? That im thinking about converting? rather than tell her ive done it? Im not too sure... she hates lying... but isnt what im doin lying? Not tellin her the truth at least..

well anyway, I really dont think im in the best of moods to be writing anything like this to u all. Insha'allah ill go for now and hope im in a better mood when i next write.

Fi amenallah