Meeting the in-laws

Ive been thinking about writing about this for awhile and after reading recent blogs from Sara over on a little of that I thought I would write up my thoughts about the impending (we will arrive in KHI on Wednesday afternoon insha'Allah) trip to meet the in-laws.

Some history, when Chilli Tomato and I first met (I like the nickname, what dya think?) he didnt really tell his parents that he was thinking about marrying an English girl, for no reason other than he wanted to see how it went. After quite awhile of not speaking with them because we were busy together they eventually got hold of him and demanded to know what was going on. So he told them he had met an English girl and we were seeing how things would go if we wanted to get married. Of course we had the 'if you want a passport we have relatives all over England' and maybe the tears (I cant remember if that was then or afterwards) Now we have the 'Im so happy CT married Ammena... I would rather him have married an English convert than a British Pakistani' and this is how it is being said now that they are looking for a wife for his brother ;) The first day we went looking for flats was the first time I got to speak to his father, he was very kind and had an easy tone to listen to masha'Allah.. he asked me for things involving my marriage and asked me to look after CT. His mother had a harder time with us getting married here without them, she definitely cried about this.. but things went ahead and his family backed us each step of the way alhamdulillah.
When his brother came over for our civil wedding back in September that seemed to be another connecting bridge between my family and his. His family felt more included and my family felt relieved I think to finally meet a member of his family. So now we are travelling to Pakistan for our mehndi and walimah parties tomorrow, and Im not nervous about meeting anyone except his mum.. what does that mean?? hubby tells me I shouldnt be, then I remind him how nervous he was when he first met my mum ;) His Dad Im really looking forward to meeting, maybe because he is the one Ive been in most contact with since meeting my chilli tomato. His brother is fine obviously cause we have spent a lot of time with him since we married alhamdulillah. His little sister is just a ball of energy and I love listening to her speak to chilli tomato, even though she doesnt speak that much English she speaks a little but listening to the adoration in her voice when she talks to him or the excitement when she talks about me (not to sound big headed) she has such a cute voice masha'Allah. His other sister (I never know what to call her in terms of her place in the siblings line... shes his younger sister - not as young as little sister obviously - so would I differentiate by younger and youngest?) the English speaking sister I look forward to meeting purely because I think we will have a few things in common (apart from chilli obviously) although shes not my age I do tend to get on with people of all ages alhamdulillah. His Mother on the other hand.. well Ive said salam to her, she has heard me practising my Urdu words but apart from that we have had very little contact :( and I think thats why Im so nervous about meeting her... I can pick out her voice out from the younger sister and Im told by hubby what she likes, Ive seen photos... but thats about the only interaction we have :( I pray that this holiday will change things between us and we can get a chance to bond insha'Allah...

Im looking forward to reading over this post when I get back and see how things have gone :)
Peace and salams
Ammena

The New Year

what will it bring? Only Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) knows but we can still look forward to it. I have to say after many years or troubles and tests Im finally seeing the benefit of it all alhamdulillah. I thank Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) every day for giving me my life and for making me into the person that I am today, trust me.. things could have been alot worse :)

Last year (well still this year really) saw many changes and these changes were all welcomed, memories have been formed and bonds solidified alhamdulillah. What did we do? well, I suppose the biggest thing really is that we got married (civil ceremony) so now we are more officially married which in turn helped to keep hubby in the country with me :) yay me :) this may not seem a big thing, but it took many months to finalise, and that wasnt just to plan... that was mainly to get my mum to actually be on board with coming over for the wedding full stop.

I got a new job, which in turn lead to us buying a car which I love having now :) Now Im on proper shifts, which means I work every other week with all weekends off yay :) which was a welcome need lol

We booked our tickets to fly to Pakistan on Xmas day :) so we are very looking forward to that insha'Allah it will be tons of fun. Hubby is getting very excited now I think, every time he talks with his parents there is something to look into. We just recently bought all the presents to take over with us for the immediate family so no more present buying insha'Allah.

As for the future, we look forward to 2 holidays next year insha'Allah.. Pakistan then over to Canada in the winter for 2 or 3 weeks, depending on my work :) and who knows what else 2011 will bring. Im just looking forward to another year with my husband insha'Allah

Peace and salams
Ammena

Theyre everywhere

Muslim men that is! masha'allah.. I forgot to tell you about what happened to me over the weekend. I was waiting in Victoria train station for my lil followers to arrive, but I wasnt too sure where the train was I should be catching. So I asked the train dude there, he told me the times and the platform I needed and I was went to walk away in the wrong direction he said 'sister the platform is that way' now why didnt he salam me when I first asked him my question?? Whats the deal with that... I dont salam guys because you never know if they are muslim or not plus the fact that I would feel really weird even saying hi to a guy.. beards dont always equal muslim.
Then the other day I was walking to the lift at work to go to the prayer room, there were 2 guys by the lift and one of them goes to me 'hello sister' dude.. if youre going to call me sister at least earn the barakah and salam me... its very annoying!!!
So with the dude at work... today I was doing a 'Bella' again, he wasnt in all morning and I was thinking it was really egotistical of me to think the reason was something to do with me, it couldnt possibly be because of me right... right! :) he was working the late shift.. things are pretty arkward though, but he isnt reading that! think Im going to have to straighten things out soon.

Describe......

... me & ur relationship with me in 4 words... I just wanna know how everyone sees me, and their relationship with me (if you have one with me that is) If u post, insha'allah Ill do the same for you

This is an old 360 blog too... but seeing as I obviously I have new readers that I didnt have over on 360 Id like to see what you all say :D
here are some of the quotes from the last blog

Aalya "Friend, creative-thinker, always there (when you need her) :)"
Somayya "Friend, sister, like-minded, supportive. How's that???"
Anisah "salam sis :) ok here goes..... sister, curious, generous, friend"

Month of August

So the month of august has been and gone, we are now into September and Im sitting down now to type out this post. Many of you may be thinking, shouldnt she really be doing something other that being on her computer during this holy month. Well, let me tell you... this is my output!! I have noone really to talk to around here, Ive read part 2 of the quran today and will start on more later insha'allah. So if you feel I should be on here less, well thats between me & my creator :) I feel ok with being on here, I have no tv so why shouldnt I use this tool that has been given to us to vent my life and to research my deen? Allahu alim.
Anyways, back to the topic in hand, what did I get up to last month.
To start with I had an amazing 4 days in Michigan with sis EyeS masha'allah, we had so much fun and Im so glad I went down to see her alhamdulillah *reminds myself to finish off email to her* we spent time just hanging out and talking till dawn, just like the good old days :) and I cant wait for her to come visit me in UK insha'allah
Then when I got back I had my pre leaving party, I think I did blog about it here. It was soo nice to see all my friends there after such a long time, everyone wasnt there but alhamdulillah it was nice to see some people who I didnt think would have turned up. Masha'allah, they all made me feel really special and welcome, I almost thought about staying here in Canada. lol... only joking!! calm down everyone :P Was so good to spend that time away though,
It was in all a very busy first week of August because the day after my party I went to Muslimfest in Mississauga :) Ive been for the past 3 years now and summer just wouldnt be the same without it.. yeh people say its boring, I usually spend on things I dont need (but not this year alhamdulillah) and I get frustrated with havng to coordinate with my friends usually.. but I think Im really going to miss it next year if Im not here. Will see.
The next week miss eyeS came to canada for a surprise visit :) well not a surprise for me, but she hadnt expected too and it was good to spend quite a few hours with her :) we went to MY veggie restaurant, value village and just chilled around :) she made me, yes u heard me.. made me buy a new hijab in value village ($4) it is gorgeous though, ive had issues in the 2 times Ive worn it but I think Ive figured out the problem. Its a square scarf which I usually wear by pinning under my chin then using a straight pin to hold one end on the opposite side of my head and a safety pin to hold the other end on the opposite shoulder.. the one pinned at my head means I have 2 layers of this material over my ear and I have this constant echo and problem with not hearing well :P so next time, it will have to be pinned on the shoulder too :P
I also went out for coffee with a friend :) I havent seen her in awhile, since just after she gave birth a few months ago.. and this time was without both her kids so was nice to just chat. We talked about my plans for the future and I questioned her on her 'next baby' heehee insha'allah.
The Premiership started :) yay.. we lost our first game :( won the next and lost the next.. i pray this isnt an insight of what is to come.. especially since I just heard that Manchester City has been bought by a guy from Dubai!! yes thats where the money is!! So, hes been buying up the players... who would have thought I would have seen Man City win the cup.. what do u think? they in with a chance?
It was my mums bday :) I sent her some flowers to work, and surprised her by taking some time off over my work weekend. It was also the anniversary of my nana's death 1 year ago.
I went for brunch with a girl from my department whos on MAT leave, shes due back mid september... we had fun and ate yummy breakfast grub :P
I had Nadia over for some time and we had major giggles :) heehee.. she makes me feel like a little kid sat on the back of the bus talking about stupid things on the way to school :D and i appreciate her totally for it, alhamdulillah.
That seems to be it really.. I started 2 new sewing projects, one actually for me :P so will post some WIP photos soon insha'allah. I finished my book 'scattered pictures' by Imam Zaid Shakir masha'allah good collection of essays on many global topics.

On an islamic note
I learnt surah al-fil and I have decided to start surah at-Takathur just because there is quite a bit of repitition in it which makes learning easier for me.
no duaas learnt :(
no fasting done :(
Sorted out some books to read over Ramadhan, including my quran masha'allah.

So peeps.. what did u get up to? did we have fun? :) ok, back to my sewing or reading.
Peace and salams, Ammena

Month of july

So, July is over, at last alhamdulillah... and what has happened in that time for me to tell you all? Well for a start the weather has been very good to me, I dread summers over here every year because of the heat. I know that Im going to have to go through the conversation of 'arent you hot?' 'show some skin, you need vitamin D' with my mum.
So, what happened last month? well for one thing I moved onto the day shift, Im enjoying it... miss my night shift friends but its ok. There are more people to deal with, not just on the floor but all the office staff who make my life hell ;) but its all good. I like that im getting into a normal sleeping routine and that even when I finish work on the last day I have a few hours to settle into the days off ahead. It gets to the point that afte rmy first day off I feel like Im back to work the next day when I have a whole other day off. heehee
Ive finished stitched pieces for all of my friends bar 1, so insha'allah I will finish that and maybe even try a few more for some other friends too :)
I went for lunch with a good friend at the beginning of the month, the girl I met at the mosque. Everytime I see her she asks about whether Ive told my mum about being muslim or about getting married, the answer is always in the negative. Then I watch her as she sympathises with me but cant help but feel annoyed at her and other people when they put across that they understand, NO YOU DONT!!! Noone knows what my mum & stepdad are like, noone knows the relationship I have with them, you only think you know because maybe you know what its like to be a convert and think about telling family, but it isnt the same.
I also went for lunch with 2 friends from work at the end of the month, these girls have been my rock here. They are both on maternity leave at the moment, one is back mid sept and the other next april insha'allah. Its nice to see them, and the one due back in April its been the first time Ive seen her since she had her little girl masha'allah, and first time Ive seen her precious little bundle masha'allah, she was adorable.
Looking back in my diary nothing really seems to have happened last month, I had all the problems with my car, and I got my firearms application sent back to me (well just a sheet) because I hadnt written my name on the back of my photo... it doesnt tell you to!!!! However, they did take the money out of my account, so insha'allah by the time I get back from Michigan if it hasnt arrived I will be phoning them up to question it insha'allah.
I still havent heard from WSIB either, so I will be phoning them up next week too... its been 2 months since my doctor appointment and this is what he told me to do. I got an email back from the company dealing with my speeding ticket from last year, she told me that they are filing a case to dismiss my ticket because it took them over 1 year to give me a date. She also told me I should be there, I had asked her if I needed to be and explained that I was looking at travelling. Will see... i really cant see myself waiting around for it. I emailed my insurance company yesterday to see what needs to be done on that side of things with my car. So just getting a few things organised for what I need to do, many things I have to give notice... like, my phone, internet, mobile that sort of stuff... I believe I have sold my dining room table and chairs to the girl I met at the mosque and Im going to be throwing out a big futon I use in my living room. Then the only things to move will be my bed, leather chair and chest of drawers (going to mums) then my desk and bookshelf I will try to sell insha'allah. Its from ikea.. not like its unique or anything ;) So thats my month of july :) what did you guys get up to??
On an islamic note
currently got 1 verse left to memorise of surah al-fil alhamdulillah and I have joined a facebook group for the memorisation :) so even though I dont think I will be able to keep up with them or catch them at good times, theres a small group of the 4 of us, I know that having them there to constantly ask me will be the push I need insha'allah.
no duaas learnt :(
no fasting done :(
have been updating my islamic blog with my research more masha'allah
Peace and salams, Ammena

June

So now June is finished too, I really thought this month was going slow but it seems to be the beginning of every month. Once u pass the middle its like.. woooooooossshhhhhhhh now its a new month :D alhamdulillah, so what have I been up to this month then.

• I had an appointment with the doctor for a review of my hand for the WSIB claim. he told me that if I havent heard from them by August to give them a ring, I not hoping for millions.. Im praying for a few hundred and anything over that is an added bonus alhamdulillah. It would sure help with my move back to UK. Ive been having more probs with my thumb recently, maybe its the change in the weather.. it seems that whenever I bring my thumb into my palm i feel like Im really having to stretch it and doesnt feel natural.. i feel the tension in the middle of my thumb to the point where it hurts sometimes. I dont know what its from, maybe its from the time when I was wearing the glove and not actually using it that much, Allahu alim
• My grandad went to Spain for 1 week with my aunty and her family. I spoke with him afterwards.. he said it was tiring, that they wanted to go everywhere while he just wanted to stay any catch up. They visited where my grandparents used to live and I can imagine it was quite overwhelming for my grandad, they left probably about 8 years ago and I dont think they have been back since. Especially after my nana passing away now, I think my auntie could have been a little bit more sensitive to the situation, but thats her :(
• There was the infamous lunch meeting that I slept through. Was supposed to meet with friends at 1230, ended up waking up (i worked the night before) at 1445 :( havent met up with them since.. but insha'allah next week I will or the week after maybe.
• Of course I went to Vancouver (see current many posts for details) picked up the cds for 7 rolls of film :P heehee, thinking about getting some framed or something to remember them by.. maybe wait till im back in uk
• Got paperwork back for firearms license, so Im just waiting for the actual license now.. insha'allah it shows up soon.
• I met up with my friend, Rachel, who I met at my mosque last year. We went for lunch then went for jumah together, it was nice to be with someone who was so enthusiastic about going alhamdulillah... even if it was only because she missed it and not to pray :P (shes not muslim)

Wow, seems like a quiet month of june.. the weather has been nice so far, a few hot hot days but plenty of cooler days too alhamdulillah. Still havent learnt any quran or duaa.. but I did start on surah al-fil at last alhamdulillah. I have an intended list of what I want memorised before I move back to UK insha'allah

A look back

so its May 31st already.. May is practically over, where did that go then? I have no idea, seems like only yesterday I was saying wow April is finished.. but then I say that after every month lol :) yeh sorry, you do get used to me, so Ive been told. So I think im going to start doing a look back tag and look back at the previous month and what I have achieved / been through in that month, this will obviously be the first one so here goes:

• I started these 12 hour shifts May 5th, which so far hasnt been too bad alhamdulillah.
• One of my bestest friends moved to UK :(
• I was tested and passed my restricted firearms exam alhamdulillah, now Im just waiting for the pieces of paper. Can you imagine? a firearms license with a hijabi on :) heehee, it will also be my first official document in hijab which Im nervous about seeing (my uk driving license expires in dec, so that will prob be my second piece)
• We had a long long weekend, which meant 4 days off for me. I havent had one of those in a long time without having to take holidays.
• I had a dentist appointment, which also reminds me I have to made an appointment for my physical at the doctors soon.
• i turned 27, which sounds so old to me and I worry because I totally feel like Im still 22.. I still rush around like Im 22 and act like Im 22, do I really need to grow up? Answers on a postcard to: PO box 25843 heehee. THERE!!! see what I mean, and Im sure the ppl who know me closer can vouch for that also.. have I changed in the years we have known each other??
• my uncle died :( and my friends dad died :( Inna Lillah wa inna ilaihi raaji'oon. Indeed we belong to Allah and indeed to Him is ultimate return I decided not to go home for the funeral
• I finished 3 pieces of stitching alhamdulilah.. so far 1 has been given to its new owner and Im currently in the process of 2 more.

On an islamic note (the template of this will probably be the same each time)
no Quran learnt :(
no duaas learnt :( insha'allah soon once I get my computer back
did update my islamic blog alhamdulillah
Peace and salams,
Ammena

My reversion story

Salam, so this is an old post off my 360 blog, but Ive decided to write it out for now instead of giving it the date of when I originally posted it. Enjoy
So my story..... you got the time?? It all started when i went to university really.... mayb even before then. I was considering becoming a catholic before I left for uni to give myself a reason for something really. To be honest I cant really remember why i was contemplating it. I remember thinking that cathodicism was a stronger faith than christianity and I needed something stronger. But in the end I didnt and i carried on with my first year at university. So in my second year (2002) I met a guy, a muslim, who said to me once than he really enjoyed my company and that i should seriously think about praying 5 times a day, fasting, giving charity and thinking about things after this life. I remember thinking what does it have to do with him.... then I forgot about it. Although I couldnt completely forget about it, my university was in a predominantly muslim area with many mosques and islamic shops masha'allah.
So when I started my third year working in London it was just the beginning of another year. Until I found out that one of the women I was working with had become muslim herself masha'allah, and I cant really remember when but then I started looking into it more. Especially when she told me things that I couldnt handle. So I looked them up and found out that the things I didnt understand werent actually muslim issues that was when I found out she was an Ahmadiyya muslim, well if you can call them muslims. There are things I really dont agree with in that, so by finding out these strange things I was actually finding out more about Islam.
So I looked more into it on the internet and came across chat rooms and islamic forums... it was here that i met some very good muslims that have helped me on my travels alhamdulillah. I even found a new muslims project near when I was when i went back to uni, so I emailed them to see what they were all about, and they put me in touch with a sister who is very dear to my heart. At first she says she couldnt see us having anything in common, but alhamdulillah she gave me a second chance and we are very good friends now, she was there when i said my shahada (Oct 1st 2003) and has been there for me ever since, even when Im on the other side of the world.
Well, I think thats about it in a nutshell, i would love to say that my deen is growing stronger everyday but unfortunately I cant. I still havent told my mum, for fear of her reaction.... I know I should only fear Allah (swt) but until you have been in the situation....... well insha'allah i will tell her soon, although myself and a few people (including my cousin) believe she already knows she just doesnt want to believe it. Insha'allah things will be sorted soon, because it is killing me keeping the biggest thing in my life from her. But her opinions arent really your everyday open-minded opinions that would make this easy.

My blogging life

It started on August 19th 2005 over on my yahoo 360 blog, here is the first blog I ever made

"Assalamalikum sisters,

So this is the first time Ive ever done anything like this. I wanna do a big blog when I have myself sorted insha'allah and have time to myself, so this is really a try out.

Insha'allah it goes ok and i can keep up with things. Im not really a tell everything kind of person.. Ive always kept things close to myself and even though i get moaned at for being laid back i do tend to carry too much on my shoulders... maybe this will make me feel better and help me to get things out in the open insha'allah.

I promise sisters to keep this as halal as I can, to not back bite about my family, my sisters, talk about horrible issues that will get me worked up. But please be patient with me, and if you find something offensive, please let me know privately... no-one likes to be embarassed in front of friends. k? Jazakallah.

Well thats enough for now I think... Im a little busy this weekend but insha'allah Ill find something to talk about.

Fi amenallah, Your sister in Islam"