Its just wrong, they shouldnt be allowed to! Its unnatural and it must seriously hurt them!!
28 December 2007
Men and skinny jeans
Its just wrong, they shouldnt be allowed to! Its unnatural and it must seriously hurt them!!
27 December 2007
Xmas
I know there are many issues with celebrating xmas with our non-muslim families, but for me this is a time to sit at home and spend time with my family. I dont usually get that because shops are open and there are chores to do, but not on xmas day. So this year I went up to my mums xmas eve and stayed til boxing day, I got a very nice snowboard this year :) I always try to ask for something Im intending on saving up for or something I need (last year I got a bed) as my mum totally wouldnt be happy with just giving me money and thats it. This year has been especially thankful with all the health problems my mum and me have gone through, also my mum fly to UK on boxing day. My uncle has been diagnosed with a tumour on the brain, his personality is changing dramatically and he is having a biopsy today, well he would have had it by now I think. So she isnt going for a holiday, but it will be good for her to see everyone I really dont know how she can be so far away from her family but everyone copes dont they! I saw my uncle when I was over in October and I also visited him when he was in hospital, after he first started seizing, while I was at home in sept for my nanas funeral. Now this is someone who has always been in my life, my auntie was married to him probably about 5 yrs before I was born and he truly is one of the family. I pray that he gets better through this and the doctors and God are able to help him through this test. Allahu alim (God knows best)
Friday
So my plans for tomorrow insha'allah... Im going to the reviving the Islamic spirit convention insha'allah. Im meeting friends from work for lunch at 1pm, then Im driving straight over there with maybe a slight detour to pick some friends up. Then im there until sunday evening, staying at a friends house closer to toronto and Im sooo looking forward to this :) Just wanted to let you all know
Joke
Hardly Islamic, but I found it mildly amusing :) Just enjoy it, dont ask questions!
so one day a woman gives birth to a mans son but when everyone looks down to coo at the child they find he is just a head. No chest, arms or legs, just a head
The boy goes through life graduates from school, and then hits his first big birthday (this is a UK joke by the way) his 18th. So to celebrate his dad takes him to the pub for his first pint, he looks up at his dad, who is watching him with a proud face, and smiles. Then takes his first sip, no quicker than he has swallowed that sip *BAM* his torso pops out of his head.
The father and son are astonished and his dad encourages him to take another sip to see what happens, so his does and even quicker than the first time *KAZAM* he sprouts arms...
Amazed he picks up the pint and looks at his dad 'dya think I should go for it dad?' to which his father replies 'well, what harm can it do son?' so the son goes on to take another sip. then with a puff of smoke his legs appear from nowhere and hes a whole body. Hes so happy and starts jumping up and down hugging his father, he runs out into the street to tell everyone.
However at that moment the bus is driving past and *bang* he runs straight infront of it and is killed instantly.
In shock and dismay the father looks ahead at the mirror behind the bar, the server is cleaning the top with a dirty cloth and says 'He should have quick while he was a head'
get it?? ooh this had me amused for awhile, suppose it depends on your sense of humour really. So I just wanted to share that with you heehee.
so one day a woman gives birth to a mans son but when everyone looks down to coo at the child they find he is just a head. No chest, arms or legs, just a head
The boy goes through life graduates from school, and then hits his first big birthday (this is a UK joke by the way) his 18th. So to celebrate his dad takes him to the pub for his first pint, he looks up at his dad, who is watching him with a proud face, and smiles. Then takes his first sip, no quicker than he has swallowed that sip *BAM* his torso pops out of his head.
The father and son are astonished and his dad encourages him to take another sip to see what happens, so his does and even quicker than the first time *KAZAM* he sprouts arms...
Amazed he picks up the pint and looks at his dad 'dya think I should go for it dad?' to which his father replies 'well, what harm can it do son?' so the son goes on to take another sip. then with a puff of smoke his legs appear from nowhere and hes a whole body. Hes so happy and starts jumping up and down hugging his father, he runs out into the street to tell everyone.
However at that moment the bus is driving past and *bang* he runs straight infront of it and is killed instantly.
In shock and dismay the father looks ahead at the mirror behind the bar, the server is cleaning the top with a dirty cloth and says 'He should have quick while he was a head'
get it?? ooh this had me amused for awhile, suppose it depends on your sense of humour really. So I just wanted to share that with you heehee.
26 December 2007
25 December 2007
My conversation with a work collegue
I remembered the post that Aalya posted awhile ago about the conversation she had with a work collegue. It was a little different for me as everyone knows Im muslim so its more of a why conversation. So one guy at work asked me on sunday how long my hair was, I looked at him funny, why i asked... oh just wondering. Ive never been asked anything like this before and felt really weird, so I thought of the answer to gave back to him and told him, long.. and he goes.. yeh cause you cant cut it can you. Then I put 2 and 2 together... we have a sikh guy in our plant who wears a turban and his hair is long (because they arent supposed to cut it) so I realised what he was getting at. I told him that we were different religions and he asked what religion I was and what he was, its funny the things that we assume everyone should know and probably need to realise everyone doesnt look into the world the same as everyone. Anyways, we went into a big conversation about why I wear a scarf and how he was shocked when he found out all my family are in UK (rather than some middle eastern country) He asked about what made me look into religion so I told him the whole story, hes the first person to really listen to me about all this and I was impressed.. but sometimes I was a little nervous at how I sounded. I mean I found myself saying some things and thinking.. wow, that sounds stupid :(
Another incident was with a few girls who I class as some good friends. One of them asked how long my hair was and commented that she had never seen my hair, shes very open minded masha'allah and I have already leant her some books to read about Islam. So she was quiet persistant with this, kept saying.. 'lets just see it, noone can see' so I lifted up my scarf to show her my hair all pulled up.. she was like, oh wow... yeh but I still cant imagine it. My question to all you hijabi ladies... would u let non-muslims see your hair? Im sure that if she ever comes around to my place, which she might be soon, I will have to have a word with her about not talking to anyone about it.
Anyways, its late... well not by my standards, but I know my mum will have me up early in the morning so I should probably get some sleep. Take care. And happy holidays to everyone out there.
Another incident was with a few girls who I class as some good friends. One of them asked how long my hair was and commented that she had never seen my hair, shes very open minded masha'allah and I have already leant her some books to read about Islam. So she was quiet persistant with this, kept saying.. 'lets just see it, noone can see' so I lifted up my scarf to show her my hair all pulled up.. she was like, oh wow... yeh but I still cant imagine it. My question to all you hijabi ladies... would u let non-muslims see your hair? Im sure that if she ever comes around to my place, which she might be soon, I will have to have a word with her about not talking to anyone about it.
Anyways, its late... well not by my standards, but I know my mum will have me up early in the morning so I should probably get some sleep. Take care. And happy holidays to everyone out there.
24 December 2007
Make me a muslim
Salam, so after watching those clips there are a few things that came to my mind over the 3 part series. Im really glad they did this and hope it has opened the eyes of people in Britain to what Islam is really about. A religion of peace, tranquility and balance. There have been many comments that I have heard back from people about this series, apparently Channel 4 dont have the reputation of being very anti-islamic especially in their reality shows and documentaries concerning the religion. So after reading others views and watching the show I want to say this.. I really enjoyed it, it showed what other 'native' english people just wont say, it showed the spiritual path of many people. I mean.. a gay guy, who knows homosexuality is wrong in islam says that he could convert to this religion, how open minded and free is that!? subhanallah.. some of the things this guy was saying really touched me and Im glad the project opened themselves to involving people from all walks of life. I was gutted they didnt show the speech of the glamour model, and I was upset that Phil didnt walk away with a little more, but who knows what will happen in the future. God only knows.
I thought it was really arrogant of the ppl of the city to the women when they wore the niqab and were advertising the islamic festival one woman said she wouldnt be interested because she was CoE (Church of England) ermm.. what does that have to do with anything???
I would love there to be a follow up of the people in this group to see how things pan out for them. Id like to find out how ash & Carlas wedding goes.. although I think she has her head in the clouds abit too much over why his family wont accept her. It isnt religion, its culture!!! Id like to find out about Luke, where he goes from there.. and erm, was it Hayley the skin therapist who was seriously looking into it.
Its a shame from the advert of the 2nd episode to the show of the 3rd, they mentioned that Dawn was reduced to tears over something but never played what... or maybe it was the editing of the youtube clip. Not that I wanted to see her cry, Im not that nasty ;P I just wanted to hear the other persons views about what would have upset her so much.
Above all I think there were some things that could have been dealt with better, I think the mentors should have taken some course to give them suitable counselling skills. Just because they were muslim didnt make them the best figure to look up to. I found Dawn to be over sensitive which is probably what she has always been like, I found Muhammed very intense and force full, Sulyman was very narrow minded although his arguments were for islam he never seemed able to jusitfy or discuss issues. However I think all the people involved (not the mentors) to be very in your face, there were numerous times when conversation was who ever had the loudest voice and if thats what the British population thinks will help them to argue their views they are very much mistaken... but then thats a very generalised sentence. I didnt like how a few things were totally unislamic with an islamic twist, I mean the fasting?? yes we fast, but 17hours?? Couldnt they have figured out sooner when they were going to start this show so they could move the times so it wasnt such a long day to fast?
Well, I would love to hear your comments about the series. What was good, what was bad, what could have been better.
I thought it was really arrogant of the ppl of the city to the women when they wore the niqab and were advertising the islamic festival one woman said she wouldnt be interested because she was CoE (Church of England) ermm.. what does that have to do with anything???
I would love there to be a follow up of the people in this group to see how things pan out for them. Id like to find out how ash & Carlas wedding goes.. although I think she has her head in the clouds abit too much over why his family wont accept her. It isnt religion, its culture!!! Id like to find out about Luke, where he goes from there.. and erm, was it Hayley the skin therapist who was seriously looking into it.
Its a shame from the advert of the 2nd episode to the show of the 3rd, they mentioned that Dawn was reduced to tears over something but never played what... or maybe it was the editing of the youtube clip. Not that I wanted to see her cry, Im not that nasty ;P I just wanted to hear the other persons views about what would have upset her so much.
Above all I think there were some things that could have been dealt with better, I think the mentors should have taken some course to give them suitable counselling skills. Just because they were muslim didnt make them the best figure to look up to. I found Dawn to be over sensitive which is probably what she has always been like, I found Muhammed very intense and force full, Sulyman was very narrow minded although his arguments were for islam he never seemed able to jusitfy or discuss issues. However I think all the people involved (not the mentors) to be very in your face, there were numerous times when conversation was who ever had the loudest voice and if thats what the British population thinks will help them to argue their views they are very much mistaken... but then thats a very generalised sentence. I didnt like how a few things were totally unislamic with an islamic twist, I mean the fasting?? yes we fast, but 17hours?? Couldnt they have figured out sooner when they were going to start this show so they could move the times so it wasnt such a long day to fast?
Well, I would love to hear your comments about the series. What was good, what was bad, what could have been better.
23 December 2007
22 December 2007
Sales
Oooh.. Im so excited, I just realised that Next will have their online sales on over xmas, the website says to check back on dec 24th so insha'allah I could be getting a few more bits to add to my collection heehee. Are you shopping in any sales this year? where do you get most of your clothes? Im soo bad I refuse to pay full price for clothes which is good because most clothes that I modify to suit my religion are in the sales at the end of the seasons. I buy dresses after summer to wear in winter over trousers and long sleeved tops and I can buy long sleeved jumpers and wooly things after winter that are suitable for spring and sometimes summer too. For some reason I see a lot of thin long sleeved tops thigh length after winter. Thanks to God :)
Shukr
I have a healthy obsession with this website. I remember when I first became muslim and I was shopping around the clothes stores online, this one always came up. Then when I met Dianna, I remember us finding out that a store near to me in Bradford sold some of their clothes which meant we could check them out before buying. However, as poor students and from the general disgust of the quality we never (I dont think they were really from the store, maybe off cuts or something) Since moving over to Canada I have ordered a few times from there and had a friend send them over to me which has been very exciting to wait for :) However, I do tend to stay away from buying the skirts as they never quite fit right (im sort of inbetween sizes, small for hips and medium for waist or the other way around) and although they say go for the smaller size because they are big sizes... dont believe them. My friend ordered some stuff, tops, all the same size and she can tell the difference in the measurements. So be warned! They are expensive and you dont get to try them before so be prepared that they might not be just right. I have to get small in tops, but I find that my long arms are sometimes too long. So anyways, this time I got them I am soo pleased with what I ordered and I wanted to show you all.
In grey, black and camel.. click the pictures to be linked to the site. Im so happy with these purchases and judging by the price that they are now being sold at Im so glad I got them when I did.. I should really have gotten a few more pieces, oh well... insha'allah next time :)
20 December 2007
Reviving the Islamic Spirit Convention
So here is the program for this years event, insha'allah I will still be able to make the majority of it after telling my mum that I will be in Toronto that weekend. She told me just to check in with my stepdad and find out if he needs my help with walking the dogs incase he is working. Insha'allah he wont be working, but that will be ok to pop up to their house (although it will probably be a good 90mins drive) and walk the dogs then drive back down. Here is the program, my notes are in blue, speakers are in red, times and dates in green. i have deleted the prayer times too.
Tentative outline of the program is as follows. Please note, the program can change without prior notice.
DAY 1 - Friday, December 28th, 2007
12:30 PM
Salaatul Jumu’ahAdhan: 12:30 p.m. Khutbah: 12:45 p.m.Imam Zaid Shakir
Imam Zaid Shakir will jump-start this year’s RIS by delivering a khutbah on the implications of the many Quranic references to “Bani Adam” – the “Children of Adam.” Imam Zaid will elucidate the meaning of the term and explain how those who believe in the message of the Quran can utilize it to foster a spirit of inter-faith and civic harmony without compromising on the unique dimensions of their faith.
2:00 PM - 2:15 PM
Quran Recitation Qari Sheikh Abdelkarim Edghouch
Session 1 Speaker: Shaykh ‘Abdallah Bin Bayyah Translator: Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
2:15 PM – 3:30 PM
“The best among you are those who are best to their families”Shaykh ‘Abdallah Bin BayyahTranslator: Shaykh Hamza YusufThe theme of this year’s conference was inspired by the Prophetic narration that we have chosen as the title for the opening session. The speaker will offer a commentary of this narration by taking us on a journey back in time to the home of the blessed Messenger and offering concise examples to demonstrate why he was the most perfect father, grandfather, father-in-law and husband.
Wont attend, going for jummah at my mosque in Cambridge and drive over a little after that which usually finishes around 2ish. Insha'allah I will be able to make it for part of this last lecture or at least for Asr. I think I will email my friends and see who is going for the friday lectures and see if anyone needs a lift over there.. therefore it might be a little longer for me to get to there.
Session 2 Speaker: Ustadh Yahya Rhodus
4:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Reflections on Sura Hujarat (Part 1) Ustadh Yahya RhodusSura Hujurat (named for the Apartments of the Messenger of Allah) warns against the human propensity to disputations, anger, hate and rumormongering. In this Sura, God admonishes us to take the lofty path of nobility instead of the path that leads to social chaos. Addressing mankind, God says He created us from a male and female and made us into nations and tribes that we may get to know one another. “The noblest of you in the sight of God are those who are most God-fearing.”
This guy isnt on the speakers list so Im not too sure about his credentials, although I want to go to as many lectures as I possibly can this year insha'allah. So I can see myself going to this one.
Session 3
6:30 PM – 7:45 PM
Arranging a Marriage by Choice Speaker: Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam
The Most Eligible Muslim Bachelor: Searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right Speaker: Shaykh Yasir Qadhi
Highly educated and successful, this current generation of Muslim men and women born and raised in the West, have rejected and banished the concept of an ‘arranged marriage’ from their vocabulary. Paralyzed, mom and dad, sit by hoping and praying that someone suitable will drop from the sky and whisk away their lovely daughter or son away. Worry no more or perhaps worry even more. Here comes Naseeb.com, Shadi.com and a slew of Muslim matrimonial websites catering to all kinds of ethnic flavors. So, instead of having their parents introduce them to suitable partners bachelors have instead embraced the anonymity of websites designed by no other than an unknown ‘web auntie or uncle.’
I cant wait to go for this one, I have a few lectures from Yasir Qadhi on my ipod and I do like the way he thinks masha'allah. Insha'allah he will be rewarded for this. Even though I dont really live in the culture of arranged marriages I still think it will be a good topic to listen to
Session 4 Speaker: Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui
8:00 PM – 9:30 PM
Spiritual Traits of a Beautiful Family Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui It is often said that a family that prays together stays together. Spiritual beauty is not about how nice our clothes are or how tasty the meal we eat, it has to do with comportment –adab - the refinement of our manners, the treatment of our neighbors and guests, even those who happen to be total strangers. Beautiful families are often magnets in society at large and as is often the case, they are almost always deeply spiritual.
Who’s the Boss? Reconciling Power and Authority in the Muslim Family Speaker: Dr. Abdal Hakim Jackson
Disputes within Muslim families over who is the boss, is a recurring problem in our society. Men believe God has given them ‘a degree’ over women and they almost always translate ‘daraja’ to mean ‘power and authority’ over all members of their household. Muslim wives complain that their husbands refuse to share in the housework because they view housework as ‘unpaid’ service. A few decades ago Chase Manhattan Bank calculated the fiscal worth of housework by valuing it at $257.53 per week X 52 X the number of housewives in America. The total value was approximately $650 billion, half the GNP at the time and six times higher than the military budget. If it were calculated today it would be 272 per cent higher. Is the man’s position of authority in the Muslim family written in stone or should it be viewed as a negotiated authority – a give and take between two adults who ought to accept that for authority to make any sense in a family, it has to be shared?
Session 5 Speaker: Shaykh Habib Ali Al-Jifri
9:45 PM – 11:00 PM
Family Life of Messenger of Allah Shaykh Habib Ali Al-JifriIt was a large family and made even larger by the mere fact that the private apartments of the Messenger of God was at the heart of the community and always accessible. Emotions flared and even anger was manifested during times of disputes. During all this, the Messenger of God remained in a state of hilm -- tranquil, unperturbed, patient. There was no contradiction between his private interaction with his family and his public relations with members of his community. How he spoke to his community – his love, compassion and mercy -- he embodied in public life, was perfectly reflected in his home. In many ways, the family of the Prophet of God was his entire community, the young, elder, women, men, traveler, poor, wealthy, laborer or trader. In Imam Al-Ghazali’s Ihya-Ulum-ad-Din (Kitab Al-‘Ilm) the Prophet is reported to have said “I am to you like a father to his son.” When he left this world his family would have been in the thousands. Habib Ali will end his talk with a prayer of healing for families that are going through difficulties, hardship, disputes and sickness, either of the spiritual or the physical type.
I would like to make this one, although I dont know whether I like the fact that it finishes at 11pm. I will need to find out if any of my friends are staying the whole time for this and walk back to the car with them. Also the next morning starts at 930am so I think I will see how I feel at that point
DAY 2 - Saturday, December 29th, 2007
Session 6
9:30 AM– 11:45 AM
Managing Sibling Squabbles Speaker: Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam
Raising Spiritual Children Speakers: Dr. Jamillah Karim / Dr. Tareq Suwaidan (Video Presentation)
Reflections on Sura Hujurat (Part 2) Speaker: Shaykh Yahya Rhodus
At some point in the life of a family, children will inevitably quarrel, fight, stop speaking to each other, feel jealous, and show outrage or displeasure or express grievance at something or the other. What might appear to be petty or serious can quickly turn into something ugly and can have lasting implications, even leading in many cases to a complete breakdown of family ties. How can parents nip early signs of sibling squabbles in the bud and avoid the havoc it wreaks on so many families? Reflecting on the verses of Sura Hujurat, Shaykh Yahya will explain how nobility of actions can subsume the destructive emotions of resentment, anger and hatred.
Im a little annoyed that they lumped all this together instead of setting proper times for this. I would like to see the sister giving the presentation with Dr Tareq Suwaidan but I dont know whether I will be able to make it for 930 to make sure I dont miss any of it. :( oh well.. insha'allah I can see some of it
Session 7 Speaker: Dr. Jamal Badawi
11:45 AM – 12:30 PM
Commonly Held Assumptions Pertaining to the role of women in a Muslim family Can women inherit? What are her legal rights? We does Hudud mean and why is it often invoked when in the case of women? Are women the majority in Hellfire? Are women deficient in mind and religion? Can women work and have a career outside the family? Is a woman’s role limited to domestic tasks? Are women less favored in matters of child custody? Are men allowed to hit their wives? What about polygamy?
This is something that I definately want to listen to insha'allah. Would be nice to hear these things because books on the subjects are sometimes quite hard to find.
Session 8 Speakers: Pamela Paul / Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
2:00 PM – 3:30 PM
Another Way of Seeing: Images of social and spiritual ruin
Of the seven inroads to the spiritual heart, sight is perhaps the most underestimated. The internet has opened a portal to an endless stream of pornographic images and for the first time, psychiatrists are beginning to record scores of Muslim men and women who suffer from an addiction to pornography. Pornographic addiction causes a decrease in marital intimacy, which leads in turn to infidelity and eventually to a complete breakdown in marriages. Experts, such as Pamela Paul, have noted that deeper levels of addiction are often accompanied with compulsive sexual behavior that eventually becomes abusive. This talk will focus on the harmful effects of pornography on families and will address ways in which this visual virus can be eradicated from our lives.
I like Hamza Yusuf so I think this is something that I will definately try to catch, especially the fact that he is speaking with a woman who doesnt seem to be muslim (God knows best, and Im not judging) I think they will probably be selling her book too at the convention so I will see how she is and maybe Ill look into buying her book too.
Session 9 Speaker: Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui
4:00 PM – 5:00 PM
His Beloved: Aisha’s relation with the Messenger of Allah
The love that the Messenger of Allah had for our mother Aisha has been the subject of many books and a source of inspiration for countless married couples throughout Islamic history. One day the Apostle of God said: “O Aisha, Gabriel is here and offers you his greetings.” Aisha responded: “And unto him greeting and the grace of God and His blessing.” The Messenger of Allah indicated his love for Aisha when he noted that the angel Gabriel would visit him while he was secluded with Aisha while angel would never do the same whenever he was with his other wives.
I would definately like to check out this lecture too as Aisha was one of the best wives of Muhammed (saws) so I think I will be taking my notebook to this one :)
6:30 PM - 7:10 PM
Quran Recitation Qari Sheikh Abdelkarim Edghouch And a message from Islamic Relief
Session 10 Speaker: Dr. Abdal Hakim Jackson
7:15 PM – 8:00 PM
Muslim Family in North America: Bridging the gap between ideals and reality
The topic will explore ways in which families in North American can begin to close the gap between the normative teachings of Islam relating to the family and the realities of Muslim families. The speaker will offer a brief introduction about the significance of the family from an Islamic perspective.
Always interesting to hear about :) and as its only 45 minutes, why shouldnt I check it out at least.
Session 11 Speakers: Dr. Abdal Hakim Murad / Imam Zaid Shakir
8:00 PM – 9:30 PM
For the Love of our Children A few weeks ago a 57-year-old Ontario Muslim father was charged with second degree murder for beating his 16-year-old daughter so severely that she died shortly after she was rushed to emergency. Based on interviews with the girl’s friends, it appears that she was at odds with her father over conforming to her parent’s code of conduct. This tragic incident raises many critical issues in relation to how Muslim parents should relate with their children during the peak years of the teenage rebellion. Muslim parents are under the false assumption that they can replicate ‘back home’ cultural practices in the West and this in turn leads to major conflicts in many homes. Authorities in Toronto attribute conflict over cultural values as the underlying cause for over half the cases of domestic violence. Beating, scolding, spanking and the hitting of children are illegal in Canada. Is it time that Muslim parents discard the adage: ‘spare the rod and spoil the child?’
I would like to hear of some of this, especially how to deal with the rebellion without having social services around to protect your child. Although I dont think this is one of the lectures that stand out at me that i have to listen to, we will see.
Session 12 Speakers: Habib Ali Al-Jifri / Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
9:30 PM – 11:00 PM
“Paradise Lies at the feet of thy mothers:” A Commentary According to the United Nations
An average of one in four women in the world has suffered from rape or physical abuse at the hands of a man. According to UNICEF, 60 million girls around the world are missing as a result of gender -selective abortions, infanticide or neglect. Another million girls enter the sex trade every year. In the United States (the numbers are similar in Canada) 17.6 % of women have been raped. Of these, 21.6% were younger than age 12 when they were first raped. There is nothing domestic about violence and yet it is a daily reality. The Quran has a chapter titled ‘An-Nisa’ which translates as ‘The Women.’ Maryam was the mother of Prophet Esa (Jesus) and to honor her status a chapter of the Quran is named after her. The Quran is uncompromising when it comes to the absolute love and respect that is due to mothers, not only one’s own, but by implication, all mothers. They bear you in weakness upon weakness, reads the Quran, so give thanks to them and to your Lord.
This would be interesting to listen to although I can see it as being something I dont fully tune in to. I mean, its a very deep and intense subject and I think to discuss it as the last lecture is a bit silly and unorganised.
DAY 3 - Sunday, December 30th, 2007
Session 13 Speakers: Shaykh Muhammad AlShareef / Dr. Jamillah Karim / Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
9:30 AM – 11:30 AM
Beyond Hijab: Glimpses from the Lives of Pious Muslim Women Today, the western public obsession is with outward cultural markers such as the hijab and the niqab, worn by a minority among Canada’s Muslim women. In turn, segments of the Muslim community feel they have to defend the honor of the Islamic tradition by reinforcing values around outward appearances. This is an unfortunate reaction and it has produced a mentality, mostly among Muslim men, that the outward observance of the hijab equals inward states of piety, love and obedience to God. Can we please go beyond this trivial level of discourse? Is there more to a Muslim woman than the total substance of the fabric that makes up her hijab? According to the 2001 national census, 62 per cent of all Muslim women in Canada live in this province and their average age was 27 (compared to 37 in the population at large).
This is absolutely something I will be waking up early for. Insha'allah the traffic wont be too bad with it being a sunday. I really cant wait for this discussion and Im glad to see that a woman will be speaking too, nothing bugs me more than listening to hijab lectures from men! ooohh...
Session 14 Speakers: Dr. Jamal Badawi / Abu 'Aaliyah Surkhil ibn Anwar Sharif
11:30 AM -12:45 PM
An Amicable Separation
Divorce in the Islamic tradition is allowed, but it is disliked in sacred law. Divorce rates among Muslims in Canada today are less than half the national average. However, it is higher, much higher, among Canadian-born Muslims. The census showed that 71 per cent of them above the age of 15 were or had at some time been married, once, divorced once or twice and remarried. Incidence of divorce among Muslim women was less than one half of the national average – 7 % compared to 17 %. In 1921 there were 558 divorces in Canada – a rate of 6.4 per 100,000 people. In 1995 there were 7,636 divorces – a rate of 262.2 per 100,000 people. Divorces have lasting and traumatic effects on children and society at large. Assuming all attempts to rectify a relationship has failed, how should a Muslim man and woman go about ending their marriage in a way that produces the least amount of harm to themselves, their families and their children?
This could be an interesting listen and I think I might pop into this one at the start. Since I first came to Islam and realised the importance of marriage (coming from a divorced family) I knew that I would try with all my heart to stay away from this issue within my family which would start with finding a husband who I knew was the right one. Alhamdulillah, I believe I have found him thanks to God so insha'allah its a step in the right direction.
Session 15 Speakers: Shaykh Abdallah Bin Bayyah Translator: Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
2:00 PM - 3:30 PM
Family Values in the Quran
At a time when the idea of a family has been declared out-dated and old-fashioned, this talk will focus on the perennial Quranic values that have inspired men and women to maintain family relations from the dawn of creation to our time. God says in the Quran: “And all things We have created a pair, that perhaps you may reflect.” And again in the Quran, God says: Our Lord, promise us the comfort of our wives and our off-spring, and make us models, leaders, for all those who have taqwa.”
This is something I think would be interesting, we are always taking marriage advice from ahadith and scholars and sheikhs around the world.. would be nice to be pointed out the things the Quran says about family values that we dont realise. Definately a notebook lecture
Session 16 Speakers: Imam Warith Deen Muhammad / Imam Zaid Shakir
4:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Playing Politics with Marriage
Every year the United States government spends millions of dollars to promote, define and police the parameters of marriage. Many people view political meddling as a dangerous trend in a liberal democracy. They argue that it is as an attempt by the state to promote ‘marriage’ in order for the state to maintain control over its citizens. Those who are opposed to political meddling in the institution of marriage believe that eventually the state will begin to determine rules of procreation such as the number of children a married couple can be allowed to have (China) or who should be allowed to procreate. The institution of Marriage in Islam is a civil union between a man and a woman. Whose responsibility is it to preserve this institution? Is it the responsibility of the Mosque or does the State have a role to play?
Hmm.. not something that really floats my boat.. just the term politics tends to sway me away. But I like Zaid Shakir so insha'allah I might pop into the start and give it 30 mins to win me into staying for the rest. As its only 1 hour long too i might find that Ive stayed for the whole lecture :P
Session 17 Speakers: Dr. Abdal Hakim Murad / Shaykh. Mokhtar Maghroui
6:30 PM - 7:45 PM
Love and Mercy: You can’t have one without the other In the Quran God says that of His signs is that he created for you spouses from your own selves that you may take comfort in them and He ordained Affection (mawaddah) and Mercy (rahmah) between you. These are the twin pillars of a successful relationship. What do these terms mean and is it possible to have love and affection without mercy and compassion? Are these qualities innate in a married couple or do they have to be nurtured and cultivated? If they are qualities that require nurturing, how can couples achieve this?
I do think I want to check this one out insha'allah. We all need to know these things eh?
7:45 PM - 8:00 PM
Quran Recitation Qari Sheikh Abdelkarim Edghouch
Session 18 Speaker: Shaykh Habib Ali Al-Jifri
8:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Achieving Happiness Together
Some people see marriage as a tax benefit. Others see it as a long-term investment even though being single has its many obvious advantages such as choosing the furniture you like. Happiness is not achieved miraculously when couples get to the point where they have extra cash in their bank accounts that allow them to take a holiday, buy a new van, adopt a pet and create separate rooms for Karim and Fatima. What is real happiness and how can families achieve and maintain it?
Love the sound of this one.. all about balance, so insha'allah I will try to get to this one too.
Session 19 Speakers: Imam Zaid Shakir / Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
9:15 PM – 11:00 PM
Family Matters
The World Congress of Families conference held in Poland earlier this year, reiterated the simple and profound belief that "marriage is good for society." Experts who spoke at the conference said it wasn’t difficult to prove that the institution of marriage in the West was in trouble. In the last 40 years marriage rates have plummeted, illegitimacy and divorce have surged and cohabitation has become fashionable. Prof. Brad Wilcox, a sociologist at the university of Virginia, said that “poverty, crime, depression, suicide, etc. are just some of the consequences that follow when marriage is weakened.” It is often said that the family is the basis of civilization, but what does this mean? Some see this as a convenient excuse to perpetuate a religious interpretation of marriage excluding all other possible permutations. In Canada, legislators approved same-sex marriages by first changing the definition of ‘marriage’ from “a lawful union between a man and a woman at the exclusion of all others” to “the lawful union between two people at the exclusion of all others.” This paved the way for the Canadian parliament to pass the Civil Marriage Act (2005) allowing same-sex couples to ‘tie the knot.’ As Margaret Somerville, the eminent Canadian ethicist, pointed out, no one ever bothered to consider the negative impact such unions will have on our children – our future.
As much as these are probably the 2 speakers Im most looking forward to hearing at this event, Im not too sure whether I will stay for this one. Its not the timing or anything because Im off work the next day with it being New years eve, its just that.. well.. I dont really know. It does sound interesting but with things like this when statistics are thrown at me it sometimes puts me to sleep more. If anyone has read the book Rethinking Muslim Women and the Veil and I told them that was hard to read for me... they would understand. We will see how I feel at that point.
Finished :)
Tentative outline of the program is as follows. Please note, the program can change without prior notice.
DAY 1 - Friday, December 28th, 2007
12:30 PM
Salaatul Jumu’ahAdhan: 12:30 p.m. Khutbah: 12:45 p.m.Imam Zaid Shakir
Imam Zaid Shakir will jump-start this year’s RIS by delivering a khutbah on the implications of the many Quranic references to “Bani Adam” – the “Children of Adam.” Imam Zaid will elucidate the meaning of the term and explain how those who believe in the message of the Quran can utilize it to foster a spirit of inter-faith and civic harmony without compromising on the unique dimensions of their faith.
2:00 PM - 2:15 PM
Quran Recitation Qari Sheikh Abdelkarim Edghouch
Session 1 Speaker: Shaykh ‘Abdallah Bin Bayyah Translator: Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
2:15 PM – 3:30 PM
“The best among you are those who are best to their families”Shaykh ‘Abdallah Bin BayyahTranslator: Shaykh Hamza YusufThe theme of this year’s conference was inspired by the Prophetic narration that we have chosen as the title for the opening session. The speaker will offer a commentary of this narration by taking us on a journey back in time to the home of the blessed Messenger and offering concise examples to demonstrate why he was the most perfect father, grandfather, father-in-law and husband.
Wont attend, going for jummah at my mosque in Cambridge and drive over a little after that which usually finishes around 2ish. Insha'allah I will be able to make it for part of this last lecture or at least for Asr. I think I will email my friends and see who is going for the friday lectures and see if anyone needs a lift over there.. therefore it might be a little longer for me to get to there.
Session 2 Speaker: Ustadh Yahya Rhodus
4:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Reflections on Sura Hujarat (Part 1) Ustadh Yahya RhodusSura Hujurat (named for the Apartments of the Messenger of Allah) warns against the human propensity to disputations, anger, hate and rumormongering. In this Sura, God admonishes us to take the lofty path of nobility instead of the path that leads to social chaos. Addressing mankind, God says He created us from a male and female and made us into nations and tribes that we may get to know one another. “The noblest of you in the sight of God are those who are most God-fearing.”
This guy isnt on the speakers list so Im not too sure about his credentials, although I want to go to as many lectures as I possibly can this year insha'allah. So I can see myself going to this one.
Session 3
6:30 PM – 7:45 PM
Arranging a Marriage by Choice Speaker: Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam
The Most Eligible Muslim Bachelor: Searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right Speaker: Shaykh Yasir Qadhi
Highly educated and successful, this current generation of Muslim men and women born and raised in the West, have rejected and banished the concept of an ‘arranged marriage’ from their vocabulary. Paralyzed, mom and dad, sit by hoping and praying that someone suitable will drop from the sky and whisk away their lovely daughter or son away. Worry no more or perhaps worry even more. Here comes Naseeb.com, Shadi.com and a slew of Muslim matrimonial websites catering to all kinds of ethnic flavors. So, instead of having their parents introduce them to suitable partners bachelors have instead embraced the anonymity of websites designed by no other than an unknown ‘web auntie or uncle.’
I cant wait to go for this one, I have a few lectures from Yasir Qadhi on my ipod and I do like the way he thinks masha'allah. Insha'allah he will be rewarded for this. Even though I dont really live in the culture of arranged marriages I still think it will be a good topic to listen to
Session 4 Speaker: Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui
8:00 PM – 9:30 PM
Spiritual Traits of a Beautiful Family Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui It is often said that a family that prays together stays together. Spiritual beauty is not about how nice our clothes are or how tasty the meal we eat, it has to do with comportment –adab - the refinement of our manners, the treatment of our neighbors and guests, even those who happen to be total strangers. Beautiful families are often magnets in society at large and as is often the case, they are almost always deeply spiritual.
Who’s the Boss? Reconciling Power and Authority in the Muslim Family Speaker: Dr. Abdal Hakim Jackson
Disputes within Muslim families over who is the boss, is a recurring problem in our society. Men believe God has given them ‘a degree’ over women and they almost always translate ‘daraja’ to mean ‘power and authority’ over all members of their household. Muslim wives complain that their husbands refuse to share in the housework because they view housework as ‘unpaid’ service. A few decades ago Chase Manhattan Bank calculated the fiscal worth of housework by valuing it at $257.53 per week X 52 X the number of housewives in America. The total value was approximately $650 billion, half the GNP at the time and six times higher than the military budget. If it were calculated today it would be 272 per cent higher. Is the man’s position of authority in the Muslim family written in stone or should it be viewed as a negotiated authority – a give and take between two adults who ought to accept that for authority to make any sense in a family, it has to be shared?
Session 5 Speaker: Shaykh Habib Ali Al-Jifri
9:45 PM – 11:00 PM
Family Life of Messenger of Allah Shaykh Habib Ali Al-JifriIt was a large family and made even larger by the mere fact that the private apartments of the Messenger of God was at the heart of the community and always accessible. Emotions flared and even anger was manifested during times of disputes. During all this, the Messenger of God remained in a state of hilm -- tranquil, unperturbed, patient. There was no contradiction between his private interaction with his family and his public relations with members of his community. How he spoke to his community – his love, compassion and mercy -- he embodied in public life, was perfectly reflected in his home. In many ways, the family of the Prophet of God was his entire community, the young, elder, women, men, traveler, poor, wealthy, laborer or trader. In Imam Al-Ghazali’s Ihya-Ulum-ad-Din (Kitab Al-‘Ilm) the Prophet is reported to have said “I am to you like a father to his son.” When he left this world his family would have been in the thousands. Habib Ali will end his talk with a prayer of healing for families that are going through difficulties, hardship, disputes and sickness, either of the spiritual or the physical type.
I would like to make this one, although I dont know whether I like the fact that it finishes at 11pm. I will need to find out if any of my friends are staying the whole time for this and walk back to the car with them. Also the next morning starts at 930am so I think I will see how I feel at that point
DAY 2 - Saturday, December 29th, 2007
Session 6
9:30 AM– 11:45 AM
Managing Sibling Squabbles Speaker: Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam
Raising Spiritual Children Speakers: Dr. Jamillah Karim / Dr. Tareq Suwaidan (Video Presentation)
Reflections on Sura Hujurat (Part 2) Speaker: Shaykh Yahya Rhodus
At some point in the life of a family, children will inevitably quarrel, fight, stop speaking to each other, feel jealous, and show outrage or displeasure or express grievance at something or the other. What might appear to be petty or serious can quickly turn into something ugly and can have lasting implications, even leading in many cases to a complete breakdown of family ties. How can parents nip early signs of sibling squabbles in the bud and avoid the havoc it wreaks on so many families? Reflecting on the verses of Sura Hujurat, Shaykh Yahya will explain how nobility of actions can subsume the destructive emotions of resentment, anger and hatred.
Im a little annoyed that they lumped all this together instead of setting proper times for this. I would like to see the sister giving the presentation with Dr Tareq Suwaidan but I dont know whether I will be able to make it for 930 to make sure I dont miss any of it. :( oh well.. insha'allah I can see some of it
Session 7 Speaker: Dr. Jamal Badawi
11:45 AM – 12:30 PM
Commonly Held Assumptions Pertaining to the role of women in a Muslim family Can women inherit? What are her legal rights? We does Hudud mean and why is it often invoked when in the case of women? Are women the majority in Hellfire? Are women deficient in mind and religion? Can women work and have a career outside the family? Is a woman’s role limited to domestic tasks? Are women less favored in matters of child custody? Are men allowed to hit their wives? What about polygamy?
This is something that I definately want to listen to insha'allah. Would be nice to hear these things because books on the subjects are sometimes quite hard to find.
Session 8 Speakers: Pamela Paul / Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
2:00 PM – 3:30 PM
Another Way of Seeing: Images of social and spiritual ruin
Of the seven inroads to the spiritual heart, sight is perhaps the most underestimated. The internet has opened a portal to an endless stream of pornographic images and for the first time, psychiatrists are beginning to record scores of Muslim men and women who suffer from an addiction to pornography. Pornographic addiction causes a decrease in marital intimacy, which leads in turn to infidelity and eventually to a complete breakdown in marriages. Experts, such as Pamela Paul, have noted that deeper levels of addiction are often accompanied with compulsive sexual behavior that eventually becomes abusive. This talk will focus on the harmful effects of pornography on families and will address ways in which this visual virus can be eradicated from our lives.
I like Hamza Yusuf so I think this is something that I will definately try to catch, especially the fact that he is speaking with a woman who doesnt seem to be muslim (God knows best, and Im not judging) I think they will probably be selling her book too at the convention so I will see how she is and maybe Ill look into buying her book too.
Session 9 Speaker: Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui
4:00 PM – 5:00 PM
His Beloved: Aisha’s relation with the Messenger of Allah
The love that the Messenger of Allah had for our mother Aisha has been the subject of many books and a source of inspiration for countless married couples throughout Islamic history. One day the Apostle of God said: “O Aisha, Gabriel is here and offers you his greetings.” Aisha responded: “And unto him greeting and the grace of God and His blessing.” The Messenger of Allah indicated his love for Aisha when he noted that the angel Gabriel would visit him while he was secluded with Aisha while angel would never do the same whenever he was with his other wives.
I would definately like to check out this lecture too as Aisha was one of the best wives of Muhammed (saws) so I think I will be taking my notebook to this one :)
6:30 PM - 7:10 PM
Quran Recitation Qari Sheikh Abdelkarim Edghouch And a message from Islamic Relief
Session 10 Speaker: Dr. Abdal Hakim Jackson
7:15 PM – 8:00 PM
Muslim Family in North America: Bridging the gap between ideals and reality
The topic will explore ways in which families in North American can begin to close the gap between the normative teachings of Islam relating to the family and the realities of Muslim families. The speaker will offer a brief introduction about the significance of the family from an Islamic perspective.
Always interesting to hear about :) and as its only 45 minutes, why shouldnt I check it out at least.
Session 11 Speakers: Dr. Abdal Hakim Murad / Imam Zaid Shakir
8:00 PM – 9:30 PM
For the Love of our Children A few weeks ago a 57-year-old Ontario Muslim father was charged with second degree murder for beating his 16-year-old daughter so severely that she died shortly after she was rushed to emergency. Based on interviews with the girl’s friends, it appears that she was at odds with her father over conforming to her parent’s code of conduct. This tragic incident raises many critical issues in relation to how Muslim parents should relate with their children during the peak years of the teenage rebellion. Muslim parents are under the false assumption that they can replicate ‘back home’ cultural practices in the West and this in turn leads to major conflicts in many homes. Authorities in Toronto attribute conflict over cultural values as the underlying cause for over half the cases of domestic violence. Beating, scolding, spanking and the hitting of children are illegal in Canada. Is it time that Muslim parents discard the adage: ‘spare the rod and spoil the child?’
I would like to hear of some of this, especially how to deal with the rebellion without having social services around to protect your child. Although I dont think this is one of the lectures that stand out at me that i have to listen to, we will see.
Session 12 Speakers: Habib Ali Al-Jifri / Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
9:30 PM – 11:00 PM
“Paradise Lies at the feet of thy mothers:” A Commentary According to the United Nations
An average of one in four women in the world has suffered from rape or physical abuse at the hands of a man. According to UNICEF, 60 million girls around the world are missing as a result of gender -selective abortions, infanticide or neglect. Another million girls enter the sex trade every year. In the United States (the numbers are similar in Canada) 17.6 % of women have been raped. Of these, 21.6% were younger than age 12 when they were first raped. There is nothing domestic about violence and yet it is a daily reality. The Quran has a chapter titled ‘An-Nisa’ which translates as ‘The Women.’ Maryam was the mother of Prophet Esa (Jesus) and to honor her status a chapter of the Quran is named after her. The Quran is uncompromising when it comes to the absolute love and respect that is due to mothers, not only one’s own, but by implication, all mothers. They bear you in weakness upon weakness, reads the Quran, so give thanks to them and to your Lord.
This would be interesting to listen to although I can see it as being something I dont fully tune in to. I mean, its a very deep and intense subject and I think to discuss it as the last lecture is a bit silly and unorganised.
DAY 3 - Sunday, December 30th, 2007
Session 13 Speakers: Shaykh Muhammad AlShareef / Dr. Jamillah Karim / Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
9:30 AM – 11:30 AM
Beyond Hijab: Glimpses from the Lives of Pious Muslim Women Today, the western public obsession is with outward cultural markers such as the hijab and the niqab, worn by a minority among Canada’s Muslim women. In turn, segments of the Muslim community feel they have to defend the honor of the Islamic tradition by reinforcing values around outward appearances. This is an unfortunate reaction and it has produced a mentality, mostly among Muslim men, that the outward observance of the hijab equals inward states of piety, love and obedience to God. Can we please go beyond this trivial level of discourse? Is there more to a Muslim woman than the total substance of the fabric that makes up her hijab? According to the 2001 national census, 62 per cent of all Muslim women in Canada live in this province and their average age was 27 (compared to 37 in the population at large).
This is absolutely something I will be waking up early for. Insha'allah the traffic wont be too bad with it being a sunday. I really cant wait for this discussion and Im glad to see that a woman will be speaking too, nothing bugs me more than listening to hijab lectures from men! ooohh...
Session 14 Speakers: Dr. Jamal Badawi / Abu 'Aaliyah Surkhil ibn Anwar Sharif
11:30 AM -12:45 PM
An Amicable Separation
Divorce in the Islamic tradition is allowed, but it is disliked in sacred law. Divorce rates among Muslims in Canada today are less than half the national average. However, it is higher, much higher, among Canadian-born Muslims. The census showed that 71 per cent of them above the age of 15 were or had at some time been married, once, divorced once or twice and remarried. Incidence of divorce among Muslim women was less than one half of the national average – 7 % compared to 17 %. In 1921 there were 558 divorces in Canada – a rate of 6.4 per 100,000 people. In 1995 there were 7,636 divorces – a rate of 262.2 per 100,000 people. Divorces have lasting and traumatic effects on children and society at large. Assuming all attempts to rectify a relationship has failed, how should a Muslim man and woman go about ending their marriage in a way that produces the least amount of harm to themselves, their families and their children?
This could be an interesting listen and I think I might pop into this one at the start. Since I first came to Islam and realised the importance of marriage (coming from a divorced family) I knew that I would try with all my heart to stay away from this issue within my family which would start with finding a husband who I knew was the right one. Alhamdulillah, I believe I have found him thanks to God so insha'allah its a step in the right direction.
Session 15 Speakers: Shaykh Abdallah Bin Bayyah Translator: Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
2:00 PM - 3:30 PM
Family Values in the Quran
At a time when the idea of a family has been declared out-dated and old-fashioned, this talk will focus on the perennial Quranic values that have inspired men and women to maintain family relations from the dawn of creation to our time. God says in the Quran: “And all things We have created a pair, that perhaps you may reflect.” And again in the Quran, God says: Our Lord, promise us the comfort of our wives and our off-spring, and make us models, leaders, for all those who have taqwa.”
This is something I think would be interesting, we are always taking marriage advice from ahadith and scholars and sheikhs around the world.. would be nice to be pointed out the things the Quran says about family values that we dont realise. Definately a notebook lecture
Session 16 Speakers: Imam Warith Deen Muhammad / Imam Zaid Shakir
4:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Playing Politics with Marriage
Every year the United States government spends millions of dollars to promote, define and police the parameters of marriage. Many people view political meddling as a dangerous trend in a liberal democracy. They argue that it is as an attempt by the state to promote ‘marriage’ in order for the state to maintain control over its citizens. Those who are opposed to political meddling in the institution of marriage believe that eventually the state will begin to determine rules of procreation such as the number of children a married couple can be allowed to have (China) or who should be allowed to procreate. The institution of Marriage in Islam is a civil union between a man and a woman. Whose responsibility is it to preserve this institution? Is it the responsibility of the Mosque or does the State have a role to play?
Hmm.. not something that really floats my boat.. just the term politics tends to sway me away. But I like Zaid Shakir so insha'allah I might pop into the start and give it 30 mins to win me into staying for the rest. As its only 1 hour long too i might find that Ive stayed for the whole lecture :P
Session 17 Speakers: Dr. Abdal Hakim Murad / Shaykh. Mokhtar Maghroui
6:30 PM - 7:45 PM
Love and Mercy: You can’t have one without the other In the Quran God says that of His signs is that he created for you spouses from your own selves that you may take comfort in them and He ordained Affection (mawaddah) and Mercy (rahmah) between you. These are the twin pillars of a successful relationship. What do these terms mean and is it possible to have love and affection without mercy and compassion? Are these qualities innate in a married couple or do they have to be nurtured and cultivated? If they are qualities that require nurturing, how can couples achieve this?
I do think I want to check this one out insha'allah. We all need to know these things eh?
7:45 PM - 8:00 PM
Quran Recitation Qari Sheikh Abdelkarim Edghouch
Session 18 Speaker: Shaykh Habib Ali Al-Jifri
8:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Achieving Happiness Together
Some people see marriage as a tax benefit. Others see it as a long-term investment even though being single has its many obvious advantages such as choosing the furniture you like. Happiness is not achieved miraculously when couples get to the point where they have extra cash in their bank accounts that allow them to take a holiday, buy a new van, adopt a pet and create separate rooms for Karim and Fatima. What is real happiness and how can families achieve and maintain it?
Love the sound of this one.. all about balance, so insha'allah I will try to get to this one too.
Session 19 Speakers: Imam Zaid Shakir / Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
9:15 PM – 11:00 PM
Family Matters
The World Congress of Families conference held in Poland earlier this year, reiterated the simple and profound belief that "marriage is good for society." Experts who spoke at the conference said it wasn’t difficult to prove that the institution of marriage in the West was in trouble. In the last 40 years marriage rates have plummeted, illegitimacy and divorce have surged and cohabitation has become fashionable. Prof. Brad Wilcox, a sociologist at the university of Virginia, said that “poverty, crime, depression, suicide, etc. are just some of the consequences that follow when marriage is weakened.” It is often said that the family is the basis of civilization, but what does this mean? Some see this as a convenient excuse to perpetuate a religious interpretation of marriage excluding all other possible permutations. In Canada, legislators approved same-sex marriages by first changing the definition of ‘marriage’ from “a lawful union between a man and a woman at the exclusion of all others” to “the lawful union between two people at the exclusion of all others.” This paved the way for the Canadian parliament to pass the Civil Marriage Act (2005) allowing same-sex couples to ‘tie the knot.’ As Margaret Somerville, the eminent Canadian ethicist, pointed out, no one ever bothered to consider the negative impact such unions will have on our children – our future.
As much as these are probably the 2 speakers Im most looking forward to hearing at this event, Im not too sure whether I will stay for this one. Its not the timing or anything because Im off work the next day with it being New years eve, its just that.. well.. I dont really know. It does sound interesting but with things like this when statistics are thrown at me it sometimes puts me to sleep more. If anyone has read the book Rethinking Muslim Women and the Veil and I told them that was hard to read for me... they would understand. We will see how I feel at that point.
Finished :)
Eid Al-Adha
So turns out I had a pretty good day in the end. I woke up early for Eid prayer as I already told you all then I came home to an answering machine message from my h2b which was nice apart from the fact he was leaving it because he 'forgot' to wake me for the prayer. But alls well thanks to God, then I found him on msn and we chatted for abit.
I also received my new clothes from shukr that was sent over from a friend in UK Then my friend called to say she was def coming over :) I think I messed it up a bit, she phoned me when i was on my way but not soon enough, I told her to phone me when she was getting to the turn off but she was phoning me when she was actually there and i sort of bit her head of.. although if she was sat in the car she prob would have seen me smiling and slapping my head when I found out she was already there. Oh well... so I picked her up, we got lost coming back (nothing unusual there) I quickly dropped her off at my house and drove back to work for a little training. I was supposed to get some ear plugs fitted (the mold made) at 230 but got there about 310 oops.. so the lady told me that 'he' was upstairs.. so of course I start freaking out and she doesnt quite understand why. Then as soon as he saw me, he just gave me a look (im sure all the girls who have ever covered their hair understands the look Im talking about) before telling me I would have to take it off! ppfff, I uncovered my ears only! so he sort of whizzes me through it while im trying to cover myself from one particular pair of eyes from a guy who works on my shift which was very uncomfortable. Then I sort of shy into a corner and pull my scarf loosely back over my ears, when the guy turns to pull them out he plays with them (cause covering them, it takes longer to set! detect the sarcasm!!!) and eventually pulls them out while telling me he didnt know I had covered back (cause he didnt look at me for all that time) and if I had moved my ears while doing so cause he might have to do it again if something was wrong. Id rather not do it at all really! So then I go for my training and then left to go home to my buddy. We prayed then chatted for abit, then went out to my favourite restaurant, well our fav, Zen Gardens (vegetarian restaurant) heehee.. we chatted more and laughed and ate and generally chilled out. Then back to mine, I showed her some videos I took when I was back in UK and then I had to take her back. Wow, writing it now seems like we did nothing... but we did talk quite alot over the food so thats probably why it doesnt seem like much. We missed her bus so I ended up driving her back and then we waited in the car for her mum and took a few silly pictures heehee. I love this girl... she always makes me smile and makes me feel like a true friend by telling me things that I know might be hard for her. May Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) protect her and keep her safe.
I also found out that my mum is going back to UK for a little while (thats another blog) from boxing day to Jan 3rd... am I selfish of thinking that she might want me to help my stepdad with looking after their dog and someone elses who they are looking after. I really hope this isnt assumed of me because its over the time period of the Reviving the Islamic Spirit convention.
I also received my new clothes from shukr that was sent over from a friend in UK Then my friend called to say she was def coming over :) I think I messed it up a bit, she phoned me when i was on my way but not soon enough, I told her to phone me when she was getting to the turn off but she was phoning me when she was actually there and i sort of bit her head of.. although if she was sat in the car she prob would have seen me smiling and slapping my head when I found out she was already there. Oh well... so I picked her up, we got lost coming back (nothing unusual there) I quickly dropped her off at my house and drove back to work for a little training. I was supposed to get some ear plugs fitted (the mold made) at 230 but got there about 310 oops.. so the lady told me that 'he' was upstairs.. so of course I start freaking out and she doesnt quite understand why. Then as soon as he saw me, he just gave me a look (im sure all the girls who have ever covered their hair understands the look Im talking about) before telling me I would have to take it off! ppfff, I uncovered my ears only! so he sort of whizzes me through it while im trying to cover myself from one particular pair of eyes from a guy who works on my shift which was very uncomfortable. Then I sort of shy into a corner and pull my scarf loosely back over my ears, when the guy turns to pull them out he plays with them (cause covering them, it takes longer to set! detect the sarcasm!!!) and eventually pulls them out while telling me he didnt know I had covered back (cause he didnt look at me for all that time) and if I had moved my ears while doing so cause he might have to do it again if something was wrong. Id rather not do it at all really! So then I go for my training and then left to go home to my buddy. We prayed then chatted for abit, then went out to my favourite restaurant, well our fav, Zen Gardens (vegetarian restaurant) heehee.. we chatted more and laughed and ate and generally chilled out. Then back to mine, I showed her some videos I took when I was back in UK and then I had to take her back. Wow, writing it now seems like we did nothing... but we did talk quite alot over the food so thats probably why it doesnt seem like much. We missed her bus so I ended up driving her back and then we waited in the car for her mum and took a few silly pictures heehee. I love this girl... she always makes me smile and makes me feel like a true friend by telling me things that I know might be hard for her. May Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) protect her and keep her safe.
I also found out that my mum is going back to UK for a little while (thats another blog) from boxing day to Jan 3rd... am I selfish of thinking that she might want me to help my stepdad with looking after their dog and someone elses who they are looking after. I really hope this isnt assumed of me because its over the time period of the Reviving the Islamic Spirit convention.
19 December 2007
Children in the mosque
Ive just come back from Eid prayer at the mosque. Its my 2nd Eid at this mosque although it should have been my third, I had only moved in the same month as Eid al-adha last year but didnt even know about the mosque that I call my own now. I have to say Im impressed with my mo
sque, especially after being to a few in UK now and seeing the sizes and accomadation for women there. Alhamdulillah I am very blessed to have this mosque so close to me. Anyways, I went for the prayer, I thought I had gotten there a little late but when I walked in the womens section was quite empty but then I had to remember that Eid al-fitr was on a saturday so with this being during the week it could make a difference to the turnout. The car park was also emptier than last Eid. As time went on it got a little fuller and of course more kids, now before I go further... I love kids, and I hope to have my own someday soon but since becoming muslim I have an idea of areas in my life that I want my kids to understand how to behave. Being at the mosque is one of them. When I was a kid I wouldnt dream of doing some of the things in church that these kids do in the mosque. Maybe because it is more of a running area without the fixed seating like in a church, but still the women seem to have no control. Also, why is it that all the small children are given to the mothers? do they not have the right to be able to pray in peace during this special time. The visit to the mosque for Eid prayer is sunnah for everyone I believe, on fridays I can sort of see the difference because men are supposed to pray in congregation, but this isnt friday prayer or any other of the 5 daily prayers for men.. this is a sunnah pray for men, women, child. I mean its even sunnah for women who have their menses to go... even if they cannot pray they are to gain so many rewards for still going there masha'allah. So why is it expected for the women to pay more attention to the kids rather than being able to sit and pray and make duaa on their own with no distractions.
sque, especially after being to a few in UK now and seeing the sizes and accomadation for women there. Alhamdulillah I am very blessed to have this mosque so close to me. Anyways, I went for the prayer, I thought I had gotten there a little late but when I walked in the womens section was quite empty but then I had to remember that Eid al-fitr was on a saturday so with this being during the week it could make a difference to the turnout. The car park was also emptier than last Eid. As time went on it got a little fuller and of course more kids, now before I go further... I love kids, and I hope to have my own someday soon but since becoming muslim I have an idea of areas in my life that I want my kids to understand how to behave. Being at the mosque is one of them. When I was a kid I wouldnt dream of doing some of the things in church that these kids do in the mosque. Maybe because it is more of a running area without the fixed seating like in a church, but still the women seem to have no control. Also, why is it that all the small children are given to the mothers? do they not have the right to be able to pray in peace during this special time. The visit to the mosque for Eid prayer is sunnah for everyone I believe, on fridays I can sort of see the difference because men are supposed to pray in congregation, but this isnt friday prayer or any other of the 5 daily prayers for men.. this is a sunnah pray for men, women, child. I mean its even sunnah for women who have their menses to go... even if they cannot pray they are to gain so many rewards for still going there masha'allah. So why is it expected for the women to pay more attention to the kids rather than being able to sit and pray and make duaa on their own with no distractions.When I was in UK, I visited a mosque in shepards bush I believe with my h2b and I was fuming when I cam out. There was an Eid party going on in the womens section (1 week after Eid al-fitr) I went in, didnt know the prayer times and asked the direction of the qiblah to a group of young girls.. they all just looked at me and shrugged their shoulders. The kids were running around screaming chasing each other, and this wasnt just 2 or 3 year olds.. Wallahi (I swear by Allah) that some must have been around 9 years old, but God knows best. In the end I got my compass out and prayed a little... then I was told that we had to tidy up because the time for prayer was nearly ending and that the men wanted to use the area for something or other. As soon as I heard that I couldnt help but feel disappointed, first everyone has sat around for at least 1 hour eating when they knew that the call to prayer had already started, and then they had to hurry up because the men wanted to use the room.. whats the deal with that?? they dont have enough room?? Well, I prayed with the sisters and left ASAP!!! Outside I told h2b when we have kids, God willing, they will be coming to the mosque with BOTH of us!!! to learn the proper manners while there. I told him about the kids in there and he was gobsmacked and agreed they shouldnt be like that. Insha'allah my kids will have a little bit more respect for their place of worship whether with me or their father.
Another issue I have with children in the mosque is this... first I have to explain that while in 
church you sit in rigid usually lovely wooden chairs on a hard floor the mosque is a carpeted floor usually with some sort of pattern like this. You take your shoes off before entering the room because, well think about it, one of the positions of the muslim prayer is sujood, 
or prostration, where your nose, forehead and hands are flat on the floor.... would you like to do that when someone had walked in that area wearing the shoes that they wear outside in the streets? I certainly wouldnt. Anyways, I was always taught that from when a child can walk they should be wearing proper shoes to help their feet grow which Im fine with. However why do so many people think that just because they are kids that they dont need to take off their shoes??? do they walk on the floor outside? yes? then take off their shoes!! no? then why are they wearing shoes??
church you sit in rigid usually lovely wooden chairs on a hard floor the mosque is a carpeted floor usually with some sort of pattern like this. You take your shoes off before entering the room because, well think about it, one of the positions of the muslim prayer is sujood, 
or prostration, where your nose, forehead and hands are flat on the floor.... would you like to do that when someone had walked in that area wearing the shoes that they wear outside in the streets? I certainly wouldnt. Anyways, I was always taught that from when a child can walk they should be wearing proper shoes to help their feet grow which Im fine with. However why do so many people think that just because they are kids that they dont need to take off their shoes??? do they walk on the floor outside? yes? then take off their shoes!! no? then why are they wearing shoes??And Ive just found this really cool link about the different positions of prayer
Eid
So today or tomorrow, depending on if I post this blog in the next 20 minutes with be Eid al-adha and I have to say Im not really looking forward to it. Ive taken the day off but have to still go into work for an hours training which I dont really mind, the thing Im not looking forward to is being on my own. The whole time that I have been muslim I think Ive only really had 1 Eid where Ive been able to concentrate on having fun and relaxing with friends, not having to worry about whether my mum will phone me and if I will be able to get away from the noise to talk to her without her asking me where I am. That was my first Eid al-fitr when I had converted not long before Ramadhan had started and I was with my friend Dianna. She invited me over to her friends house, we sat and chilled and helped her friend make the food for her family. Although it was probably a big stress to her friend I had a really good time and it will always be a fond memory to me. Eid al-adha is always a funny one too, there isnt a lead up to the holiday unless you are on hajj, but I have found with fasting the 9 days before that I have felt better about it this year than previous years, so God willing I would like to incorporate that into my life in the future.
Im looking forward to the next eid because hopefully I will be married by then and Im nervous and excited to see the difference that will make. To actually have someone to break fast with, to talk to someone about your trials of the day and discuss how you feel during those times. I cant wait :) Although I dont know where I will be spending the holiday as my fiance has spent much of Ramadhan in Algeria since I have known him.. I would like to spend more time together though, with it being our first one together (if we are married by then that is) Although I wouldnt mind visiting over that time. Well its awhile off yet so we will see how things pan out before then. So now, Im going to pray and then Im off for an early night, up early for Eid prayer tomorrow, I just found out that I make have a visitor tomorrow but Im not building my hopes up but Ill take my camera wherever I go.
Peace and Salams
Ammena
18 December 2007
Day of Arafat
Today I was supposed to be going for a 'holiday' meal with my department and I was excited for it, then I realised that Eid al-adha (the festival of sacrifice) was the day before I had originally thought. Which meant that the day of Arafat was actually on the same day as the meal. So now I was in a dilemma.. because of this hadith narrated by Muslim
Ammena
It was reported from Abu Qutaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about fasting on the Day of Arafaah. He said, 'It expiates for the sins of the previous year and of the coming year.'So I either fast and expiate my sins from last year and this year coming or I go to a chinese chain buffet that I dont really like the ones Ive been to in the past. Hmm.. what would you do? Well Im thinking you know which option I took which is why Im here posting now :) Thanks to God. It made more sense to fast after already fasting the other 8 days of the beginning of the month of Dhul Hijjah, so why miss out on this even more important day?? Anyways... thats my day. I also woke up really late, around 1230pm after being up till 3 last night starting this blog then up and 615 to eat before fajr this morning. So now I need to get myself ready for work. Peace and salams,
Ammena
Those girls
So, have you ever met someone and thought 'how did I get through my life before I met this girl?' not in a sexual way, more emotional support. Im so glad to have lived in the places Ive lived in and to say that I have 3 of these girls alhamdulillah (thanks to God) Now I also have many online friends and offline friends who have helped me through my times (u know who u are) and Im truly grateful for those too. Insha'allah they dont mind me posting pictures but I have to show my love for them...
First of all my bessie mate 'wifeofrachid' I met her before I converted through IslamWay sisters, she was living in a city just a short bus ride away from me while I was at university. The first time we met I was very nervous, took the bus to Huddersfield and was on the phone to her wandering around looking for someone who it could be, then she walks around the corner with her sister looking all pretty and pious masha'allah. I moved forward to give her a hug (a habit I had developed in my first year at university) and I instantly felt her tense up. Oops... must realise not everyone works like me... so we go through the months visiting each other, spending time chilling in the arab cafes with mint tea or wandering around the islamic shops. She got married when I just graduated and fell pregnant soon after alhamdulillah, I moved over to Canada a month after I graduated and Ive been in touch regularly with her since moving here. Ive been back to visit her twice in my 3 years here, and everytime she makes me cry and I realise how much a miss her being that close to me. I love her truly with all my heart for the sake of Allah.
Now the second girl, I got chatting to her at a conference in 2005 she noticed I had a different accent and I gave
my email in to her organisation. I didnt hear from her for a few months (I later found out the guys had taken the list and not returned it to her) then when I finally got an email from her we realised that we were living down the road from each other. Well that was it from then on, we were constantly chatting and meeting up, for coffee, food, films, chats.. it was so good to have a friend that close (emotionally) that close (geographically) I dont think I have ever had that before in my life, so I was grateful for it at that point in my life. When I had moved away from my mum to live more of my own life. We have both gone through so many changes since that eventful summer afternoon, shes met my fiance when she visited London (to pick me up something of course) shes introduced me to a great bunch of sisters, shes listened to me when Ive moaned, shes watched me when Ive cried, shes helped me through emotions I never knew I had and most of all, shes always been ready to come see me when I needed someone the most. For that I am truly grateful and I hope that things will always be this way with us no matter where we are. She is currently in Turkey teaching and came home for a random 5 day visit that actually turned into a few weeks so Im glad shes back for awhile and the first time we got together what did she do?? She made me cry!!! subhanallah.. shes got that gift I guess. And the gift is that I always feel so comfortable in front of her doing it, yes its happened a few times, all she does is hand me a tissue and wait for me to carry on talking for that I love her lots and pray that she gets rewards for all the times shes been my tissue taker.
my email in to her organisation. I didnt hear from her for a few months (I later found out the guys had taken the list and not returned it to her) then when I finally got an email from her we realised that we were living down the road from each other. Well that was it from then on, we were constantly chatting and meeting up, for coffee, food, films, chats.. it was so good to have a friend that close (emotionally) that close (geographically) I dont think I have ever had that before in my life, so I was grateful for it at that point in my life. When I had moved away from my mum to live more of my own life. We have both gone through so many changes since that eventful summer afternoon, shes met my fiance when she visited London (to pick me up something of course) shes introduced me to a great bunch of sisters, shes listened to me when Ive moaned, shes watched me when Ive cried, shes helped me through emotions I never knew I had and most of all, shes always been ready to come see me when I needed someone the most. For that I am truly grateful and I hope that things will always be this way with us no matter where we are. She is currently in Turkey teaching and came home for a random 5 day visit that actually turned into a few weeks so Im glad shes back for awhile and the first time we got together what did she do?? She made me cry!!! subhanallah.. shes got that gift I guess. And the gift is that I always feel so comfortable in front of her doing it, yes its happened a few times, all she does is hand me a tissue and wait for me to carry on talking for that I love her lots and pray that she gets rewards for all the times shes been my tissue taker.As for my last friend. This girl I have known since.. erm... I was 12 although we didnt really get pally until we were about 15. We went to school together, we went through some times.. from peer pressure to failing exams to members of the opposite sex. We spent so much time in either of our cars after chemistry lessons trying to figure out why our lives are the way they are. I miss her tremendously now, shes gotten married, had a little boy who I love to pieces, who she says has taken to me more than anyone which she puts down to her constantly talking about me :) well what can I say :P She was the first person I talked to about converting, her answer? are you happy? thats all that matters... and that I love her for. I hope that our relationship will never fade although I dont even think about this because I really cant see it happening. I can not speak to her for months, then I pick up the phone.. shes there and 2 hours later we are saying we should go. She makes me feel comfortable with myself, makes me feel wanted and loved and above all she will tell me when I need to take a good look at myself, properly... now thats a true friend!! and I wouldnt be without her.
Since August
So Ive had a few issues in my life since August. First my mum was taken into hospital with apparent kidney stones that actually turned out to be a burst appendix, sorry exploded appendix (they found it in 2 pieces) Then when she was still in hospital on her 50th birthday my grandmother died in the evening, although I didnt find out until the day after because of the time difference, yes shes in UK. So I had such a lot to deal with over those few weeks, I flew to UK for the funeral while my mum was discharged from the hospital and just relaxin
g at her home. Whoever reads this might find it cheesy but I really dont know how I would have gotten through those few weeks if I was without religion as I was before I found Islam and for that I am thankful. I was close to my grandparents, I never used to be when I was at my dads and we would visit them we would always complain about how boring it was there. However once I started driving when I was 17 I used to visit them more than I visited my Dad, they have both helped me a lot in my days since then and for that I am grateful. They came to visit me in May with my auntie and her family and Im so glad for that time that we spent together. When I went back for the funeral it was so strange, I saw my dad in an angle that I have never seen before. He listened to me, he watched me, he asked about me, he hugged me when he never had to and this is what upset me that I have never been given these pleasures as I was growing up. As thankful for them as I am now, I know that this is the 'silver lining' that is around every test that we face in this life and I am grateful I got to experience them before it was too late. I got to spend time with one of my half brothers who has grown up so much since I last saw him, Im so proud of what he has become and I pray that he carries on making me happy :) I miss my nana, its hard to talk to my grandad now because there isnt always someone else there to talk to. Im so used to her picking up the phone and asking if I wanted to speak to 'him' I can still hear her laugh and feel her touch, her kiss on my cheek when I left her in the airport not realising that that was the last time I would see her. I was given the chance to see her before the funeral, but I refused which I was grateful for my dad understanding and not pestering like the rest of the family seemed to do with their kids. I remember my nana, not cold or blue, but smiling and full of life even though her life was at a much slower pace than ours (I mean in terms of her walking) Im just grateful I got to know her and for that I thank God everyday, I just sometimes wish that my children could have said the same I know they would have loved her as much as I do.
g at her home. Whoever reads this might find it cheesy but I really dont know how I would have gotten through those few weeks if I was without religion as I was before I found Islam and for that I am thankful. I was close to my grandparents, I never used to be when I was at my dads and we would visit them we would always complain about how boring it was there. However once I started driving when I was 17 I used to visit them more than I visited my Dad, they have both helped me a lot in my days since then and for that I am grateful. They came to visit me in May with my auntie and her family and Im so glad for that time that we spent together. When I went back for the funeral it was so strange, I saw my dad in an angle that I have never seen before. He listened to me, he watched me, he asked about me, he hugged me when he never had to and this is what upset me that I have never been given these pleasures as I was growing up. As thankful for them as I am now, I know that this is the 'silver lining' that is around every test that we face in this life and I am grateful I got to experience them before it was too late. I got to spend time with one of my half brothers who has grown up so much since I last saw him, Im so proud of what he has become and I pray that he carries on making me happy :) I miss my nana, its hard to talk to my grandad now because there isnt always someone else there to talk to. Im so used to her picking up the phone and asking if I wanted to speak to 'him' I can still hear her laugh and feel her touch, her kiss on my cheek when I left her in the airport not realising that that was the last time I would see her. I was given the chance to see her before the funeral, but I refused which I was grateful for my dad understanding and not pestering like the rest of the family seemed to do with their kids. I remember my nana, not cold or blue, but smiling and full of life even though her life was at a much slower pace than ours (I mean in terms of her walking) Im just grateful I got to know her and for that I thank God everyday, I just sometimes wish that my children could have said the same I know they would have loved her as much as I do.Ok, thats enough of me for tonight... Im off to bed now well after I pray with the hope and intention of waking early to eat before I fast tomorrow. Take care, and thanks for reading... whoever is out there.
First blog
Well.. Ive moved from yahoo 360 to multiply and I thought I would check this one out. I cant really get into multiply for some unknown reason and I miss blogging on 360 so hopefully this might be the intermediate. I have many blogspot blogs in my favourites list and I always like the way it is composed so lets see how this new love affair goes with blogspot :) So a little about me, well Im a new muslim since 2003 (hence the link) Im female (oppressed? no!) a scientist (yes, educated) living in a new country (yes, on my own ie without a husband) who loves to read, hang out with friends and experience new things. Im a big sports person, love to watch football (english football, yes Im british!) and take part in those funky sports that always make people ask how it was, like bungee jumping (not impressed) sky diving (totally recommend it) scuba diving (amazing, life under water is so much better) and the usual yoga and horse riding. Thats me in a nutshell really and this is the beginning of my new blog :) Im not too sure of the angle of this blog yet, and to be honest I dont want to use it for a specific area of my life like, my religion, or my reading, or my crafts.. rather I want to write here the things that affect, change and influence my life on a day to day basis and the things that I do. Lets see how it pans out. Take care.
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