This really goes out to all those mothers of multi-lingual families.
Hubby and me usually get talking about what we want with our children, our thoughts, dreams and colours :D Something he said to me awhile ago is making me look for solutions and opinions out there in blogworld. Ok, so here goes.. we were discussing languages for our children, obviously my mother tongue is English and A's is Urdu... We both would like our children to speak Arabic too insha'Allah but thats not the issue here. I asked him what language would he talk to our children, 'English obviously they wont speak Urdu'
I was shocked.. why wouldnt they speak Urdu? I wanted them to, they needed to communicate with his family (mainly umi) I think he was just as surprised to find that of course I wanted him to speak to our kids in Urdu.. but how do we get around this?? what if I dont understand what my kid is asking for?? ;) Im hoping to give them 2 languages as a mother tongue insha'Allah.. I know it general takes longer for a child to talk in this sense.. has anyone else had experiences with this? One language from each parent, preferably Urdu but Im keen to hear how it went with other languages too insha'Allah
JazakAllah khair
Ma sha Allah my children picked up languages quickly. They don't fret over grammar the way that adults do. They just speak the way they here a language being spoken. At the moment they speak 2 languages (English and Arabic) and understand the Algerian dialect. I would like them to learn Urdu but because my first language us English it will be hard for me to teach them myself. What I would like though is for my parents to speak to them in urdu so that they pick it up like that. As long as each person speaks to them in one language, they can pick it up in sha Allah. My cousin speaks to her daughter in one language and her husband in another language and my niece speaks both fluently (she's about 5 or 6 years old). If you're worried about not understanding the other language, you'd probably pick it up with your child. I know many that have learnt a language that way!
ReplyDeleteI wanted Saad to learn English, Urdu and Arabic also, and so far we have a pretty good start on two out of three!
ReplyDeleteIt did seem to take a bit longer for him to start making full sentences, as compared to my batijey(nephews) who speak almost only Urdu. At first Saad spoke little words in whichever language, then he went through a phase where he spoke only Urdu, I think this is because I was the only one in the whole house speaking English to him.
He mostly understands both now, but is speaking Urdu less, My sussar(Father-in-Law) has started to insist that everyone in the house speak English most of the time so that all the children can have English as a mother tongue. He doesn't want any of the grandchildren to struggle to learn English as he and his children have had to do.
One of the reasons I insisted that Saad learn Urdu is because of what I saw happen in some mixed families back home. The children spoke/understood only English, and when their Pakistani grandparents came to visit, it was very difficult for them to get to know each other. Sometimes the grandparents spoke a little English, but for the ones that don't I can imagine it must be very sad for them not to be able to talk with the children.
I have actually picked up a lot of Urdu because I learned from what the baby was asking for!
We haven't been able to work on Arabic very much, because the only person that speaks a little bit is my jayt(brother in law) and he is in Abu dhabi. InshAllah, we can get him a tutor or something later on.
-Eva
Children are like little sponges, whatever is put infront of them they will learn (that's why they say discipline should begin at the start (age 1).
ReplyDeleteIf you want your children to learn any language then it needs to be done when they are young so they can pick it up and it's great as they will always be around it.
My friend spoke English and the father spoke arabic to their children. They fully understood and now speak both languages subhanallah!
On a personal note that is what i would want for my child. I speak English and hub speaks arabic. Then I will learn alot more too inshallah :D ...plus if you don't know a particular word your child will be able to fill you in. How incredible would that be? As i'm sure we would all want the best for our children and for them to succeed.
I say give them all that you can when they are small because if you regret it and then decide to teach them at a later age, it's going to be alot harder for them. Whereas if they hear both languages when they are young - it's just normal for them.
There's a lot of information out there - magazines, books, blogs - about raising bilingual (or multilingual) children. The main points, from what I've read are:
ReplyDelete1. Children's brains are wired for learning languages, so if you put them in an environment where the language is being spoken around them and to them, they'll learn to speak it.
2. However, as children get older, they often stop responding in the minority language (the language not spoken in the larger community), so it's important to create incentives to get the children to respond in the minority language. Some families do this by having each parent strictly speak - and respond to - one language only. Other families do this by taking trips to a community where the minority language is the main language, so the child has to speak the language in order to communicate.
3. Bilingual children often start speaking later than monolingual, and their vocabularies in the individual languages lag (i.e. they know more words, but a lot of them are repeat words in both languages, like bread and brot). However, they tend to catch up to their peers by third or fourth grade, and there's evidence to suggest that overall brain plasticity is increased by learning a second language as a child.
My husbands native language is Arabic, I only speak English. We decided my husband would speak Arabic and I, English. My son is now 2.5 yrs- his English is better than his Arabic but he is learning, and he knows to talk to Baba in Arabic and to me in English! There was a little confusion in the beginning, but children are amazing, and learn faster and more easily in their language forming years. Other multicultual families we know are doing the same thing. We've been doing this since birth, and plan to continue. Our pediatrician agrees. I don't worry about his English because he is submerged in it, and my husband and I communicate in English. My son needs to be able to connect with my husbands culture, as well as my in- laws. We are now going the same with our baby daughter. (I should mention that we also employ a variety of tools- Arabic DVDs, books, flash cards and puzzles- it is a committment).
ReplyDelete;)
As Salaamu Alaikum Chica...
ReplyDeleteYou know Adam and I had this same convoersation. Its kinda funny how muslim who are native arabic speakers all want their children to learn arabic... Tee-hee
I think what really matters when it comes to languages are those that will be most important in your future family home.
Adam said English too when we started talking about children. And i was like dude... that's cool but what about them speking to your parents who don't speak a lick of English and will be in the same city (London) with them? His concern was more so about me... lol... and how will I be able to handle a different lingo. In truth "Mother tongue" says it all... The first teacher to a child is their mum and what ever language she speak when she tell'em "NO" will be the language that the child will learn first. In my humble opinion if you or I for that matter want the children to learn a language be it Arabic Urdu Veitnamese or french for the matter we will have to learn it and in that way we'll be able to pass it on. Liek example if you starte to learn Urdu and have that be the main lingo in the home by the time you have children it would become second nature to you to teach them in Urdu as it would be the official language in the house. Same if Arabic would be the official lingo in the home... If you and A both decide to take a course in Arabic than make it the official lingo in the home.
Its what you'll make of it...
OK thats my 50 pense.... LOL
Salams! As someone who grew up speaking two languages (Arabic and English) I really think it's important that kids are given the opportunity to speak more than one language from an early age. With regards to your kids asking you for something and you not understanding them, that's down to YOU, the parent, and not them. What I mean is, if you make it your business to listen to them and try to figure out what they're trying to say you should be able to understand them. It works in my family. :) My dad speaks to us in Arabic and my mum in English, and from an early age (as young as 2.5, Mashallah) we can translate between the two. E.g. mum tells us to ask Abi if he wants a coffee (in English), we ask him in arabic, he answers in Arabic, we relay the answer to mum in English. It may seem confusing, but it isn't, because each parent is identified by their language.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that it does generally take kids longer to learn to talk this way - there's such a variation anyway. In my family we all started gabbing well before 2yo. :D
I really think that your husband would regret it in the long-run if his kids didn't speak Urdu, not to mention that as Urdu and Arabic are related languages (there are similar words, script, etc) it will make it a lot easier on the kids trying to learn Arabic if they already have the Urdu.
Salam alaykom dear sis... I know u've been probably waiting for me to reply hehe.
ReplyDeleteWell As you know... I am bilingual. I grew up English ONLY, STRICTLY. then learned french later on..cause I had to in order to survive in Quebec. I guess I was bilingual at around age 22. I did ok but my brother didn't , he cannot converse in French As I do...heavey english accent and struggles a lot. I think I was just lucky to have better teacher and more experience and lived here longer than he. ( went off to UNi in states)My Grandmother was freom a french family but was brought up strictly english because her parents left the catholic church , which in Quebec is usually french. But she struggled with french all her life and wished she had been taught by her parents.
OK having said that... my two teenagers..were brought up completely bilingual. They both kinda spoke more french than english until they reached school age, but they completely understod english. They go to english school and are completely bilingual. They both spoke full sentences later, like around 5...I really beleive that one has a brain programmed in french and the other is english , if that makes any sense. We were told , though.. one parent should speak their mother toungue and the other one theirs. ( I did not do this though hahaha, me parlez le francais bcoup)
now for my 18 mth old and the newest one coming...they gonna b busy !!! English, French, Arabic and Dajiria ( Moroccan) I am so amazed..at her.. Her Baba speaks to her in Dajiria or Arabic and she completely gets it.
When it comes to her saying those words,,, I am elarning along with her :)
The one above who said you figure it out.. well it's true, you do.
In Montreal almost everyone knows at least three languages.
I wonder if your husband is thinking Urdu as an inferior language? I pray not. and I really really beleive he should teach the child. It's very important. VERY. The child is not gonna be confused..and is gonna be just fine. In fact I work with two ppl here who were born in Canada to Pakistani parents , who's parents do not know a word of enlgish..and they learned english , french and urdu.. no problemo.
Ima gonna throw in something else though... as education.. I firmly beleive as English as the language to study in. The whole world is open to them if so.. if not.. then they will limited in their future choices in life.
salams for now !
salam alaikum,
ReplyDeletemy first three kids were spoken to by myself in english and arabic by dh, i didn't notice them speaking later and would change between the languages no problem. they also understood algerian arabic but never really spoke it until we came here. my middle three kids were less priveledged, moving to algeria when they were very youngi made a priority to speak and learn algerian, my husband found it very hard to speak arabic. As a result they have a sound understanding of english but struugle to speak and have a 'foreign accent' And while i regret their lack of english I am so glad I can keep up with my teens conversations in algerian, I would hate to not know what they are saying!Now with the two babies we are trying to go back to english from me and algerian from dh (school stuff is in arabic so they will learn that later insha'allah).
I knew a german woman who as a single parent taught her daughter german, french and english simply by alternating which language she spoke on each day eg monday german, tuesday french and wednesday english. This shows fantastic discipline on behalf of the mother but it paid off masha'allah.
Thanks for the input ladies :) Masha'Allah makes me feel better that it can be done with a little sabr insha'Allah.
ReplyDeleteAs for hubby, he doesnt find it unnecessary. I think he just assumed being in an english speaking community it would be too hard for him alone to do it. Insha'Allah he will do it brilliantly just like I know he does most things the same way masha'Allah
As a person who grew up speaking two languages, I can tell yuo it should be no problem for them to learn both. just give them ample opportunities to practicve and you'll be amazed at how much it'll help you learn Urdu too!
ReplyDeleteit's so nice to hear all this, gives me hope for the future, iv got two little girls, me and my husband speak urdu all the time, and i try and speak as much as i can with the girls, yet they still show no signs of speaking it them self, even though, they understand it fully! only just found this blog, love it already!
ReplyDeletesalaam alaikum,
ReplyDeleteIm american and my husband is moroccan and we also have had similar conversations in regards to our daughter who is now 3 1/2 months, mashaAllah. After speaking to speech therapists and other moms in similar situations I have found that the best thing to do is for me to speak english to my daughter and have my husband only speak arabic to her (he speaks 4 languages but wants her to learn arabic first, plus we live in spain now so she will eventually pick up spanish at school inshaAllah). Your husband should only speak to your child in urdu (starting at birth) and you english. Children pick up languages quickly and from what ive read and heard this is the best way for them to learn multiple languages.