4 July 2008
Wow
my mum just phoned me at 2220 and the first words to come out of her mouth were 'now I dont want to start an argument... but' at that point my heart started beating really fast. She asked me 'whats this tea break thoughts?' I was totally confused and didnt have a clue what she was talking about and I told her this.. then for some reason something popped into my head as she continued talking about this webpage she had found on her computer from sunday (which I dont know how she can say from that date!) and the c**p that it was talking about. She said, 'from someone on the outside looking in it sounds like a fairy story, ooh I want to do this and talking about the veil' Then I realised it was a blog, so I told her it was something that I came across, which it was because I have only recently been reading that blog and it isnt one of my frequent visits. She told me, just dont be doing it on this computer X would get mad if he found it (X being my stepdad) she proceeded to tell me not to live my life by it, which Im not really.. it is involved in my life but I dont live by it, especially not by how the blogger perceives Islam to be. She told me I dont want you to get brainwashed because you have your own thoughts, I told her 'yes I do, I know that' and in the end her point was that people didnt do this with the bible and that she didnt want me being brainwashed because she thought I was living my life by it. I told it it wouldnt brainwash me and that I wasnt living by it. then she was saying that she though I was, it was why I didnt go out and meet new people. I told her I do meet new people, just not in the way she expects, she mentioned about me not drinking and that she was totally fine with it. She asked why she didnt meet any of my friends down here, Im like 'cause youre so far away' so she said she would come over one night and stay here :( and meet some of my friends.. it would be nice to have her down here.. but maybe not to meet my friends, although actually that would be ok as long as she didnt want to go outside. All my friends here know me in hijab. Then she said, 'ok, I said I wasnt going to argue with you' and went on to say a few little things about it and ended with just dont do it on this computer.. I said fine and we said our goodbyes... subhanallah.. is this her telling me that she knows what Im doing? does this mean that I might find it easier to talk about Islam to her if she was here at mine? Insha'allah. Remember me in your duaa girls.
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asalam alaikum sis
ReplyDeletesubhanallah sis, i really do hope that you and your mum can begin to talk about islam in an open friendlier way.
your are in my duas
fi aminallah
khadijah
you know it just might be that she's been second guessing you all the way along, but doesnt want to say anything till you own up first... maybe it would be easier to discuss with her on your own turf, at least then you would have easy access to friends as support insha'allah.
ReplyDeleteassallam alaikum Sis,
ReplyDeleteDear sister, May Allah, subhana Wa'Taalla make it easy for you.
I have only now come across your website while surfing the net at work... I love checking hijabi blogs.
Anywhooo... before writing this I have no clue how long you've been a hijabi or a Muslimah. Over the years everyone has slowly accepted my life a bit more. My mom likes to ignore it really, and put a picture show together for my hubby and I recently including NO pics of me in hijab (kinda hard to find unless they're from family events, home or like 8 yrs ago). She just kinda ignores it or acts like I'm cold all the time and THAT'S why my head is always covered.
We have times when we discuss Islam respectfully, more often that not. I think having other convert friends helps because we can support each other in understanding. Perhaps meeting your friends will bring about a better understanding for her.
In addition, if you don't feel required to wear an actual "hijab" you can cover your hair with scarves and hats, hoodies and other not so "I'M A MUUUUSSSSLLLIMM" styles.
May God make it easy for you.
Peace~Sallam,
erica aisha
assalamu alaykum, may Allah make your path easy sis :) Humdullah I have had some support from my mother, but sometimes I feel alone in my beliefs. Its not an easy road but in shaa Allah, you will be rewarded along the way.
ReplyDeleteUmm Travis
thanks girls :) umm travis, did you realise it was your blog my mum found? lol.. thought it was amusing when i saw your comment :P
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh Ameena!!!!! Ughhh, parents of us converts can be difficult LOL. I agree: meeting your friends will def. help her---I mean, you girls are so MOD, LOL. Personally, I think being yorself and following your beliefs and involving your parents in your life make it so much easier to see the good changes Islam has brought out in you.
ReplyDeletemaybe just maybe she is testing the water. like seeking taqwa says, testing the water, she may have some idea perhaps but hey becareful i was worried she found your blog there for a mo, now that will let the cat out of the bag. you in my duas sister hugs xxxx
ReplyDeleteShe may have a clue, it may all just be coinsidence sis, but Insha'allah one day soon you will be able to express and reveal your believes with your mum. I know there are many converts who have this problem, you are not the first and won't be the last :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you manage to tell your mum openly about everything before you move to the UK Insha'allah.
Xx
assalamu alaykum sis
ReplyDeleteya, i realized :) made my heart skip a beat for a minute there ;) im so sensitive. keep it up sis... families are hard.... i just came back from a trip to canada, and it wasnt easy at all... but we keep trying. remember we are only resposnsible for our effort... not the result.