2 May 2006

One word, think

Assalamalikum,

ok... so i am really tired of hearing about this topic http://news.yahoo.com/fc/us/terrorism well more about the comments ppl keep making. I was just coming back from work and it was on the radio, "Zacarias Moussaoui has been given life instead of death.. if he was given the death sentence he would become a martyr" ONE WORD (well 2 really) thinks he.... as in, he thinks he would become a martyr...

does this annoy anyone else?? The woman reading it was so matter-of-fact though, and thats what bugs me.. like she knows where he is coming from...

1 May 2006

Working

Assalamalikum everyone.. well Im at work, bored out of my mind.. thinking of what to do when I get home (surah!!) and what I could be doing that is useful at the moment rather than working....

I cant wait to not have to work... hanouni?? can i stop working?? Image insha'allah...

Well, I suppose I should try and look like Im doing something. Fi amenallah

30 April 2006

27 April 2006

Quraish

Assalamalikum everyone... just wanted to let you all know Im learning a new surah insha'allah. See subject for what surah so far im just listening to the audio and writing down how i would say things.. I will then, insha'allah learn the english, then the arabic... I find it easier this way cause then i know what Im saying and i will learn a line of arabic at a time until im confident to say the whole thing. So even when I dont know it all i say the rest in english... hee hee... remember this jane?? hee hee.... So far, this will be the 6th surah i know. Sometimes i feel bad that I dont know more.. Allah alim...

Well, just wanted to let you all know. Fi amenallah

26 April 2006

Next bit

Assalamalikum everyone,

insha'allah this blog finds you all in the best of health and iman.. well as you can tell from the previous post, I finished the stitching I mentioned wahey!! So insha'allah ill get that sent off the sister sometime soon. Insha'allah she will like it.

Ok, so where was I??? Oh i was coming back from Bradford and I went to my friends house from school. Yeh, so i decided to go straight there.. it was weird, taking the usual routes that I took on my way home from school and things hadnt changed there either... what is it with little towns?? they never change.. man.. its sooo boring!! I drive up to her house and start getting my clothes out the car.. rummaging around all the other bits I bought over the past few days As im pulling my bag out, a car pulls up next to me and one of the girls steps out.. she hasnt changed, actually i shouldnt say that.. I was soo annoyed at ppl telling me I hadnt changed, what did you expect?? So we chat, the usual how are u? hows the trip been? blah blah blah.. then we get to the front door and ring the bell. I walked in and was disappointed to see my friends boyfriend sat there... 'oh, hes having food with us then going out' she tells me after awhile... just thought that she would have made the effort for it to be only the girls.. u know!? Anyways.. we order chinese.. it was actually yummy.. chinese here just doesnt seem the same as in UK dunno why. Anyways.. we eat, catch up on the soaps... they made me watch eastenders!! & emmerdale farm!! Man.. I was ready for slitting my throat (expression for those who take offense) We were going to get a film... instead they decided they wanted to play video games, there was one that was basically a big knowledge quiz, I did pretty well on this and there was even a section that slowly reveals a picture and you have to buzz what the pic is.. guess what one was.. the blue mosque, masha'allah and it was a really good pic too. So in the end one of my friends wanted a lift to where she was meeting someone, so i offered to give her a lift. I didnt want her walking around on her own (this was about 11pm) and i was the only one who was driving. She got in the car and asked how i was.. i was like.. erm.. fine.. then she was twittering on about something and mentioned she seen one of the lads that we went to school with. Now the only thing i really remember about this guy was that he used to take to his sandwiches at dinner time.. he was a little strange. Anyways, she told me that he was like... what dya mean shes a muslim ; well shes become a muslim ; but why ; so then i realised why she was askin me if i was ok, then she asked me again... I told her fine, that I had done this for me, noone else so it wasnt changing.. Alhamdulillah she was fine with that and said, well at least youve done it for yourself... she was good about it alhamdulillah. Then i let her out and drove back. A while after i got back, some one elses boyfriend turned up and i started to feel really self conscience then.. I never really liked this guy, he isnt good enough for her as far as i see and he kept talking about my cousin.. I dont know if he knows shes my cousin (shes black) and i was really uncomfortable with how he wasnt really acknowledging the fact... its hard to explain really. Eventually they all left at about 230am and i was sooo ready for bed... So i slept till fajr, then went back to sleep and slept til about 9 i think. Got dressed and after saying goodbyes and stuff left for my grandparents.

When i got back to my grandparents there was noone there, so i thought they had just gone out... it was about 10am, you know older ppl.. they wake up really early. The alarms were on, so i knew they werent just somewhere else in the house. Then i walked through the double doors and found a note on the table, my heart dropped.. as i read it, i was told that both my grandparents had been taken into hospital the morning before... I felt soo bad at that point.. I had only gotten my simcard in Bradford so noone had my phone number. Immediately i phoned my auntie and she filled me in on what happened... the main point is, they were both in hospital but alhamdulillah they were ok and in the best possible place for them. Man.. it was a busy week after that. I had to fit all my schedule around visiting them in the hospital and making sure they were ok... alhamdulillah everything worked.

So Saturday afternoon, I drove down to my dads and we went to watch the football match Everton vs Sunderland... it was the day before my dads 50th so sort of doubled it up as a bday present for him. I know he hasnt really been to many games since he left my mum, cause ive never heard him mention anything about it. Ive been going reguarly since i was 16, so i really miss them being over here and i couldnt go home and not see the boys play It was a good afternoon, at first i was pretty nervous, I cant remember the last time that i spent that amount of time time with just the 2 of us... but alhamdulillah it went fine... we had fun, we went to the football shop bought some bits... got food.. yummy chips & curry, it was gorgeous!! The match wasnt too good... we drew 2-2 but the goals we scored we didnt really deserve.. the ball just got lost in a group of guys in front of the goal and it just so happened someone kicked the ball hard and it went in the right direction. And since then.. they seem to have gone downhill.. check out the site if you want, just please dont laugh Everton FC Ok... so then we go back to my dads, and sit around for abit.. then he leaves to go to see my grandparents in hospital.. I had speaken to them, but i had already planned something else.. that makes me sound really bad doesnt it!? My feelings were so much stronger about it at the time.. but thinking about it now Alhamdulillah they are both ok now.. so thats the main thing, and i did see them more.

After my dads, I went for a meal with my auntie and uncle.. I had been to see my auntie on tuesday I just cant remember if i told you that she had arranged to go out for food with me to surprise her husband.. hee hee.. it was fun surprising him and he was totally shocked. Actually he said he looked at me waiting and thought it looked like me, then excused the thought.. hee hee... i was there!! So was a fun night, we ate, talked, then we went back to theirs which is over the road from the restaurant... Went to bed finally about 12am... man.. i was happy to come back to canada to rest!! Alhamdulilah i wasnt affected with jet lag either way.

I woke up around 10ish and got ready... had a quick drink and was on my way back to my grandparents... ok, so this was the day i had been looking forward to (Sunday) My habibi was coming to visit liverpool from london and i couldnt wait. But before then, I told him about my grandparents and he was fine with me being late to get him... I did other things that day im sure of it... lemme think, I left auntie at about 11ish... oh yes i remember... it was my dads bday so i popped into his... he had some food bits on the table and they had done some veggie stuff for me, we talked and stuff then me and my dad went to visit my grand parents in hospital. my nana looked ill.. she was having breathing difficulties, but my grandad was sat next to her, tormenting as usual.. We stayed until about 5ish when waiting time had finished.. listen to this.. visiting hours 3-5 & 7-8 how ridiculous!! Anyways, I got back to my dads, stayed for about 30 mins then left to pick up my hanouni... he had never been to liverpool before so it was new to him. I couldnt wait to take him round and show him my city!! insha'allah he will show me his city in the future.

Anyways, its 6pm now.. i think thats enough for tonight. I think my net is sorted now, so insha'allah ill write some more soon. Fi amenallah

23 April 2006

Part II

Assalamalikum everyone.. ok, so i got some time and thought i would update..so we all went out for food, we chatted and generally had a really good night. I felt so grown up Then we dropped dee and zaz off, stayed at dees for awhile chatting about how things had all come together general chat actually but it was so nice to have general chat with sisters, rather than well you know.. non-sisters. Was nice... we drank mango rubicon too, well I did. Then me, jules & little ali left for their house... i wanted to stay up later to chat with jules but we were both soo knackered that we sort of just fell into a bed and slept, after i gave jules the clothes i had bought over for the little 'un. I woke up in the morning, half expecting everyone to be awake.. Ali was awake so i took him out his cot and brought him into the bedroom.. we played with his toys and i read him a story.. hes such a cute kid masha'allah. Then i took him downstairs and he woke jules up that was fun hee hee.. We had breakfast, showered, chatted.. then before we knew it it was half an hour before dhuhr and we were supposed to be going for jummah (its friday if you arent keeping up with dates) so we phoned dee to find out where she was and arranged how things would be. We got there.. actually quite awhile before the khutbah even alhamdulilah. we sat with the kids in the big room and they started playing around, I think Julia and the other sister there felt bad about the noise so we went to the room for non-praying sisters and kids cause they wouldnt disturb everyone as much. So then a noise came over the speakers, the adhan... then he started talking in arabic.. i was slightly confused until i realised he was giving the khutbah.. so we listened to that.. it was good masha'allah but for the life of me now i couldnt tell you what it was about... Dee turned up eventually in her new jilbab which was really nice masha'allah. then we prayed together, dee looked after the kids, cause shes cute like that . It was nice to be there together doing it. I was travelling so i prayed dhuhr and asr together. Then we left and chatted outside about next plans... we went into the town centre for coffee and food at the same place we went to the day before. Then 2 more sisters turned up... so there were 5 white hijabis and another sisters... and 3 babies... alhamdulillah it was good... we even got a few smiles from older couples which is always nice.

Then I realised it was time for me to get going cause i was meeting some school friends back at home. It would take me about 1hr to get back to leeds and to my car if the trains were decent. So we make our way to the train station, I get my ticket and see that the next train leaves in 4 mins.. not really want i wanted but alhamdulillah. So i tell the 2 sisters i just met salams and to keep in touch insha'allah.. now dee hugged me (from the previous blog u will see why i told you how she was when we first met) She hugged me really tightly like she wasnt going to let me go, then i could feel her sobbing... you know when you try and suck it back in and your whole body shakes.. thats what she was like, it totally caught me off guard.. I was like.. dee dont start crying please... then i heard her let it out, well that started me off then.. subhanallah.. we were in the train station surrounded by 3 other hijabis, 2 babies and everyone else in the station.. clingin to each other like our life depended on it. At that point i wanted to say ok.. im staying and i aint going back to canada. At that point, I realised where my heart is and where my true family is... At that point, I cried for my deen, for my sisters and for anyone else who gives up things that they love and know they will miss for the sake of others... Alhamdulillah. Then i eventually left dee and tried to wipe my eyes before saying good bye to jules.. mumbling an apology about my wet eyes.. then i kissed the babies and walked off without looking back. I couldnt, I knew if i did id be in floods again, although i do wander how dee was when i left her and what the girls said to her, if anything. I stood on the platform silently sobbing to hear that my train was delayed... by 15 mins.. i could have screamed. Alhamdulilah.

Ok..so to cut no news out.. i eventually was on my way home and i knew i was cutting it short for trying to get back to my grandparents to say hello, to pray and to go back to see my school mates. My grandparents had got back from their holiday that day so i wanted to at least say hello but i couldnt reach em. In the end i decided to go straight to my friends, I was passin the roundabout near hers at 630pm and i was due there at 7pm.. it would take me 30 mins to get to my grandparents.. so it was easier to go there..

So.. i think ill leave it there for tonight.. Im trying to finish a stitching for a sister back home, that was supposed to be finished when i was over there.. the gold thread im working with is soo fiddly so im changing it to a normal thread. Insha'allah it will be finished soon and ill post a pic.

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