Wednesday night/ Thursday morning

Salam girls... so Im on days this week apart from thursday Im on afternoons because I have a trip to the hospital for my appointment at 11am. I went for taraweeh tonight... it was weird, so many more women there masha'allah and i felt like a fraud leaving after the normal 8 rakahs. So I started thinking about wednesday night, insha'allah im going to go for taraweeh all this week and even try some 20 rakah night. However on wednesday, I finish work at 3pm and im not in until 3pm the next day, well apart from the travelling.. so I was thinking maybe I should stay a little longer. Stay for the 20 rakahs and also stay till maybe early morning.. well very early morning :P definately leave well before fajr to get a few hours kip. I was thinking leave around 1ish... so what dya think girls?? Should I?? JazakAllah khair

Frustration

Assalamalikum girls,

ok so I just need to vent and get out my frustration after just speaking with my mother.. it isnt any backbiting just annoyance at how she is acting. Its been 5 weeks since my grandmother died, and just over 4 weeks since she was buried.. so that means just under 4 weeks since I have been back in Canada. The day I arrived back my mum had organised to go to a neighbours bbq and dragged me along.. well basically she was there when I arrived back at her house. She left early on the sunday for a christening that I had been invited to (alhamdulillah, I didnt want to go) and I left to go back to my place before she got back that day.

I have seen her once since then, partly due to my own issues of not really wanting to be there while Im fasting. But I went up last weekend, she was at her 'friends' (yeh I dont really like this friend of hers, she takes advantage) She didnt intend on coming back to hers, even though she had known for nearly a week that I was coming up, I stayed under 2hrs! This weekend is the long weekend for thanksgiving and Im also not praying so I thought I would spend the whole weekend there. We intended on going to a big market town called St Jacobs and I phoned her this morning to tell her i didnt want to go on the saturday as Im working till 11 on the friday and it opens just too early. So then she tells me she cant go on sunday because we have all been invited to her 'friends' for thanksgiving dinner (her friend is english just like us!) I dont understand why she keeps breaking things with me and its hurting me because all I want to do is curl up with her and for her to tell me everything will be ok :( oh look.. Im crying now, such a baby...

I understand shes having issues at the moment with her up and coming operation but why does she have to spend all this time with her?? shes babysitting during the day for her and wont take money because they looked after the dog while she was last in hospital, for 6days they looked after the dog.. the woman has 4 kids!! and my mum has been lookin after at least 2 everytime shes been there.. subhanallah.. shes not well..

Am I being over reactive??Am I being selfish? Or am I being stupid?

Assalamalikum girls... ok, back from taraweeh.. and im not impressed not by the performance but by the togetherness of my community, there were less women there than for jummah.. there was 5 including me left after 8 rakahs and even after they left you could still hear them giggling and talking. Astagfrillah... but was ok, they had different brothers doing 4 rakahs at a time, so insha'allah they will be rewarded for the recititation.

Question time: when is it allowed to sleep during the day?? You see Im working days for a few weeks during Ramadan inhsa'allah so I can go for taraweeh.. taraweeh means I get home about 11ish (i got home later today cause i stayed for witr) but i will be up around 515 for suhur.. then staying up after that because Im working at 7am so no point in really trying to get more sleep. So I was thinking.. well maybe I can sleep after I get home.. I finish work at 3 but then I thought well not much sleep time between then and asr.. how about between asr and maghrib but Im sure I read something that we arent supposed to sleep between those two salah. Anyone got any ahadith???

Jazakallah khair, Ammena

Im going to the doctors to have 2 moles removed at the end of the month. Allahu alim. Make duaa for me girls insha'allah..

And for everyone, Ramadan mubarak. I woke up for fajr this morning alhamdulillah, although a little later than i wanted.. I still got to make some scrambled eggs for myself, throwing them down my neck as the adhan was playing.. I have to look into whether we are supposed to fast from the adhan start.. usually I do finish a few mins before, and insha'allah I will be forgiven for this little rush :) I think Im realising that this month is long over due now and I cant wait to go to the masjid for jummah and for taraweeh this weekend insha'allah.

Fi amenallah

Its been awhile

Assalamalikum everyone,

so its been awhile since my last blog. Im not apologising though, my life has been pretty hectic lately and not in a pleasant way. Ive been booking train tickets for my forth coming trip back to UK which Im still excited about and looking forward to meeting up with some friends insha'allah.

As for the not exciting things, my mum was taken into hospital with suspected kidney stones.. they let her out with medication, until the pain just got too much for her and the friday after she was back in hospital with either burst appendix or rupture bowel pockets. They still dont totally know whats wrong with her and its now 3 weeks later, although she went to the doctors today and he thinks its more burst appendix, the infection had become a mass of infection across the whole of her cavity and she is lucky to still be here today alhamdulillah.

She celebrated her 50th birthday in hospital which she was really bummed about and I spent most of those few weeks visiting and phoning her. Subhanallah its so hard to do from 90mins drive away. Anyways, the day of her 50th birthday I phoned my grandad, my nana (grandmother) had been taken into hospital the week before and I was just checking up... he gave me the number to phone her bedside. My dad had already told me the day before that she had problems talking and it left her out of breath, he gave me the number at 7pm GMT so I told him i would phone her durin the day tomorrow when she might be feeling better. The next day i plodded around in the morning doing my bits, had a shower got out and saw my grandad had left me an msn message... so i wrote back and he said he was going to phone me. It was actually my aunties husband I spoke to and in a short story he told me my nana had died around 10pm the evening before. I knew before he even told me she had gone forever out of my life. The next few days where a whirl wind of booking tickets, sorting work out and picking my mum up from the hospital on the 30th

I went back to UK last week for 6 days for the funeral, it was horrible.. nice to see family, but horrible to see them in the state that they were in. I think I bonded more with my dad in that short space of time and insha'allah it will be remembered. Ive talked to them a bit since i got back to Canada, but i just feel so helpless and useless, although even when I was there I just didnt know what to say to my grandad, hes constantly up and down as expected and all I want to do is protect them all, but I cant and it pains me so much to not be able to.

Anyways, I cant sit here crying at work.. so Im signing off for now. Just to let you all knwo, Im still here.. with a much shorter friend list alhamdulillah and awaiting Ramadhan.

Fi amenallah, Ammena