Work

So its going fine alhamdulillah.. people are still being nice to me, still sticking to myself and not opening up too much before I get to know people, still feeling like the prize toy and not being big headed about it like I thought I may be... because, he asked me about marriage today :| how uncomfortable!! Am I really as ready for marriage as I was trying to tell myself? Is this the best Im going to get? Was my mum really right all those years ago when she was telling me the same thing? (obviously not about the same guy!) hmmm.. pondering to do. Allahu alim

Skin

So I had pretty bad skin through my teen years... well it all started when I was about 12ish and stayed with my solidly until 17/18 I still have problems and of course the open pores from my younger days... it used to depress me, Im not the prettiest of people and I was always surrounded by friends with perfect skin (who still used to cover up with slabs of makeup) Ive never worn makeup and never had an interest in it really.. Vasline is the way to go :D and shineless moisturiser lol.. anyways, my skin is sensitive but with my meditterean roots its pretty oily, which wouldnt be too bad if I was in a hot country and the sun dried it up (which it does on holidays) but not in UK. With it being sensitive it isnt just products, its also to the water I use.. so when I move to new places it takes awhile for my skin to settle down. So moving away after 7 months I wasnt looking forward to how I was going to react, with me you also have to realise that I start following skin routines, then I just get bored or tired or skip a few days and then blow the whole thing off. Since moving down I started another routine, not really new because Ive been using the products for awhile just not all together or as reguarly. In the morning I make wudu then use a tea tree + witch hazel foam wash from Boots and then spray a lil factor 30 kids malibu sun tan lotion on.. I do get dry in the day now, so Ive been using E45 moisturer which is such a saviour. I find sometimes that I can just feel it sinking into my skin its AMAZING! Then in the evening, I use the same foam wash, Clarity cleanser (Superdrug) then I have a few things I can use but generally its been a witch hazel gel (from Boots) which I let soak in.. I think this is whats drying me out alhamdulilah.. then I either use a tea tree + witch hazel night gel or baby lotion depending on how dry and tight my skin is feeling. And I must say Im about as impressed to actually start making this a regular thing insha'allah :) yay.. finally something :P

Lonely

Yeh this is how Im feeling at the moment.. as much as my life has moved forward now since moving down here and starting a new job, I still remember that Im experiencing this alone and that situation wont change anytime soon. Of course, I understand that Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) has his plan for me and I do have sabr... but knowing that the thing with bro A isnt going to happen anymore sort of makes me feel vulnerable. I dont know anyone down here, so cant say 'look out for someone for me' I wouldnt even know where to begin if I did know someone. This was definately something I wasnt looking forward to! How can I? How do converts in strange cities find husbands without being pawned off on any available 'brother' in need of a passport or a bit on the side.. not a situation I would wish on anyone Ill tell you that! I feel like Im back in Canada, back on my own away from my mum... the difference? I had a good friendship base there.. but saying that, it did take nearly 2 yrs to build up in Cambridge plus another 1 year when I was in mississauga, so I need to start looking on the brighter side of things.. which are what exact? Man.. this is too deep for me right now, I need to eat and shower. Remember me in your duaa girls.

The guy at work

Hes Filipino.. he said to me yesterday 'Ammena, are you Islam?' I knew what he meant but just wanted to smile at the way he intently looked at me in such serious honesty, masha'allah

A girl I live with told me on Monday that her boyfriend might be getting the sack because.. get this (these are her words).... hes paki, and someone called him a paki and he kicked off.... erm, ok!! so he obviously doesnt kick off at you, or is this something you dont say around him (no I didnt say that, I dont know her that well although shes the one who speaks to me the most here)

New Moon

Well I certainly cannot wait for November 20th.. I dont care about the comments left here for this link (incase you want to view the trailer properly)

my first day

I feel like a kid again :P

so my first day went well... I wasnt expecting to get straight into work but they threw me some scrubs and off I went :P as the deal with the scrubs, well apparently you dont get measured up for them, they sort of look at you and go 'Small right?!' in THAT tone. You know what tone I mean! I was shown where to change incase I wanted privacy.. erm, who doesnt? the girl I started with apparently as I found out while she pulled off her shirt right infront of me and another woman.. is there no shame in the youngsters of today (actually shes a year older than me) I was shown to a workstation with a Philipino guy working there and told I was going to work with him (forgotten his name!) I dont know if I will work with him tomorrow or not. There were 3 people working in the same corner and my teacher :P introduced me to the others (the woman I forget her name and a guy called Ahmed) They both seemed nice and I got talking to the guy (well he talked to me) telling me about the area, the halal shops, that for jummah the hospital prays in a different room and hes never seen any girls there.. well thats going to change on Friday! :P my new bff Batool told me that shes met him, and she used THAT tone and told me to be careful.. hmm, what is it with people thinking I dont know how to look after myself? All in good intentions I know masha'allah.
Anyways... the girl who started with me today travelled 2 hours to get here this morning and this Ahmed lad lives in NHS accommodation but at a different hospital about 30mins drive from here, so I was really lucky to get this place by the sounds of it :D I dropped the car off this evening too, dunno how things will fair without that, esp as I had to take 2 buses back to the hospital.. stopped off in tescos on the way there for a few things, got a shower shelf, a lamp, an alarm clock, a chopping board.. forgot the bulb for my lamp though :P so will try pick one up another time, either over the weekend or see what the onsite shop loads up on. My legs are killing and my eyes are stinging, felt like I had no sleep last night and woke up sweating.. my hayfever kicked in something rotten yesterday morning, and again this afternoon.. which is the reason for the eye stinging and maybe for me feeling like Im not sleeping. Ive gone back to sleeping with the windows open, I missed doing this in Canada so its nice to feel like Im back home again. My room looks and feels pretty lived in now :) which always makes me feel better.. Im still on the hunt for series DVDs which keeps me busy, found out today Ill be getting paid on June 27th insha'allah so its nice to know that I wont have to wait until July 1st which seems soo far away.
Im thinking about starting up swimming again at the womens only night in New Malden on a sunday (me and my new bff) will see insha'allah... all in all, eventful few days :) Im already looking forward to the weekend, going to visit a sister just outside Croydon which should be different... then next weekend Im going to a fiqh convention with Tariq Ramadan so Im looking forward to that too insha'allah.
Ok, time for me to rest my little fingers... take care
Peace and salams,